Ask Zoro
by HogwartShinobi
Summary: Zoro's making extra cash with this new advice column job... [I DONT OWN ONE PIECE!XD]
1. Grand Line Evening Post Presents

Hello there. I've been talking with Zoro..._Sama_ and he agreed to answer any of your questions! Yes our favorite bushido has 'volunteered' to answer your questions in his own advice column. But only on a few conditions...

1. One question per chapter.

2. They don't have to have any meaning or point.

3. I have to call Zoro with respect and ever draw on his face ever...Ever again.

That's all! Get some questions in and I'll get Zoro to answer ASAP!

Zoro: Im having second thoughts on this...

((Holds up marker))

Zoro: OKAY OKAY!!!


	2. 1st Edition

_Any question huh? doesn't have to have any meaning at all... _

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

_---From, Savage Valentine_

**Dear Savage Valentine, **

**Depends, what kind of wood, how big the woodchuck and what kind of woodchucker in the first place.**

_Zoro-sama,  
I am a huge fan of yours, and I've noticed that your many adoring groupies have tried to set you up with basically anything that moves. What makes you such a love magnet, and why haven't you gotten together with anyone yet?  
---Confused in Cocoyashi_

**Dear Confused in Cocoyashi/ -the-pyro-pirate-,**

**Well, as you can tell from my goal, I have no time for a troublsome attachment like love. So yeah, not taken never will be. Althought Kuina was pretty hot...**

**(HogwartShinobi: You know you loved her) **

**SHUT UP!**

_r u also allowed to ask questions instead of advice? if u r is zolu(zoroxluffy),zona(zoroxnami),sanzo(sanjixzoro),or robinxzoro true?_

_---From nekosaru_

**Dear nekosaru,**

**-sigh- People really _do_ pair me up with anyone dont they? The answer to your question is.I am alone. I have no love and never will. **

**Unlessit'ssomeonethathappenstolooklikeKuina.**

_Ok- here's one for Zoro to answer: _

Is your hair naturally green? Because Sanji's spreading around a rumor saying your hair is actually pink. -It's true!-

_---From ocean-view-Luffy_

**NANI?! WHAT THE HELL?! THAT CHEF BASTARD IMA KILL HIM!!!**

_do u think if kuina was alive, she would be able to beat Hawkeye?_

_---videl reyes_

**Yes I do. She was strong and full of potential. If only she were by my side now...I MEAN...Not reallyb _by_** **my side just...Near me...Alive...**

_I have a question for Zoro! _

When you were younger,did you have a crush on Kuina? Or at least think of her as more then just a rivel?

_---Masaichu_

**Dear Masaichu,**

**What hell is with you people in my damn love life?! Besides, Bushido don't have 'crushes'**

**(HogwartShinobi: ...So you just purely loved her?)**

**NYA!

* * *

Wow first chapter and you've all made him go insane O.o**

Zoro: DAMN STRAIGHT

HogwartShinobi: Pft. Yeah. Straight as a rainbow n.n


	3. 2nd Edition

_Well this is a question that have been bothering me. You're hot Zoro-sama there's no denying it. So, howcome you're only the second most popular character of one piece. From my point of view you're the one with the cool look, sexy muscle + scar and three swords. Please explain, Zoro-sama (drools)... _

_---From luxiefer_

**Dear luxiefer,**

**Cool look? Sexy muscles? Scars and Santuryo? For your knowledge Im trying to be less 'attraction-able' as possible. I barely interact with the others and am always sleeping. How am I the sexy one?!**

**Sanji: YEAH!**

_Hm... I have a question for Zoro.  
Fighting with a sword in your mouth is quite a feat, I'll admit. However, when Mihawk struck your mouth-held blade with his Rosary Dagger, the impact should have either broken the blade or pulverized your teeth from your mouth. How come none of your teeth are broken, seeing how many times you put that sword in your mouth?_

---JKS/Julian K. Spire

**Dear JKS,**

**O.o...Um...Cause Im cool like that?**

_Hello Zoro! I have a question for you. If you had the ability to come to this world and met up with Alfred Kahn the owner of 4Kids the $$holes who messed up your show, would you kill/torture him...and if so...how?_

_---From Tiger-the-great-Xtra_

**Dear Tiger-the-great-Xtra,**

**Slow and painful...Trust me. AND FOR GOD SAKES IT'S ZORO! FING NOT ZOLO YA DAMN IDIOTIC BASTARDS!**

**(HogwartShinobi: O.o)**

_kyahahaha! this is actually very funny!  
any way,let's get serious.. (ahem!)  
can I ask a question?  
Zoro-kun.. uh.. ah.. wait.. (what was I goina' say? oh yeah.)  
.. (ahem!).. f Kuina-san (oh i love her!) was alive,do you think  
you can beat her? sorry I know there are millions of people asking  
you things about Kuina-san (my only love) but I was just wondering..  
-  
P.S.: Shit men,could you answer this? Thanks! (I'm not being mean,ayt!)  
x_

_---From motoko aoyama_

**Dear motoko,**

**I don't know...I might. She was the only one I couldn't beat. Her skill, her talent her soft dark blue hair---UH next question!**

_Wow, that was... odd. All the love questions are kind of annoying though. But it's not like you can help it though... Say, you like KuinaxZoro don't you:) Well anyway, here's my question._

Zoro-san-  
I need some fashion advise. I'm going to this big get together where the main event is to beat the living daylights out of everyone else. So obviously it would be a good idea to bring a weapon. However my only weapon is a large spiked club, and it's brown and black with a little jade amulet on the handle. But I don't want to look like a walking tree, so what do I wear? HELP!

Yours wacking,  
Solo-Loco Ellingson Rose

-end of question-  
Okay, that was a really stupid question, but I thought you could go for some variety. (And I just wanted to ask it.) Sorry if it's too long. '

_---From Solo-Loco Ellingson-Rose_

**Dear Elliongson-Rose,**

**From my point of view. You should wear red. Blends with blood so you don't really have to worry too much about stains.**

**(HogwartShinobi: Are you on crack?!)**

**What?? It was a question! I answered it! Be happy!**

_Since Kuina is dead, and you said you would go out with "anybodythatlookslikekuina", does this mean you would go out with Tashigi if she didnt hate you? Or, Robin, because she looks kinda like Kuina, and you two make a cute couple in fanfics._

-Mr. Thumbsup

**Dear Mr. Thumbsup,**

**You better hope to god I don't know where you live.**

_Hello Zoro,_

If you were stranded on an island, and one other person was there, who would you want it to be? (The person has to be currently alive. And no, your swords, nor your subconcious, don't count.)

_---From hachinoko_

**Dear hachinoko,**

**But I like my subconcious! Damn. I dunno. I guess Robin. She quiet, content, probably won't bother me and isn't an eye sore...**

**(Sanji: WTF?! BACK OFF!)**

**Meh.**

**

* * *

**

Zoro's a little confused right now...MAKRERS MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER n.n

Mugiwara Pirates: NO THEY DONT!


	4. 3rd Edition

_Zoro-san,  
Wow Zoro! That was good advice! Wearing red worked like a charm!  
Now I know I asked a question last edition, but I have another one now. (If that's alright.)  
What is the worst thing you've ever eaten?  
Really, I'm very curious. As a note, I hear that bricks don't taste very good. _

Yours thankful,  
Solo-Loco Ellingson Rose

**Dear Ellingson Rose,**

**Hm...Not sure. After all I do rough it out in the wild alot...**

**(HogwartShinobi: Hmph. You mean get lost.)**

**Ill make sure YOU loose something.**

**(HogwartShinobi: Ima girl.)**

**Bite me.**

**(HogwartShinobi: Ju van me to?)**

**O.o

* * *

**

_Nee hee! Zoro, did you know you have a sexy butt? xD_

_---From Meh! (Not the author lol)_

**Dear Meh!**

**I do not stare at my own butt...

* * *

**

_which bring me to my next question; are you having an... er... affair with your swords. Cause I read from somewhere that you like to lick your swords. o.0_

_---From luxiefer_

**Dear Luxiefer,**

**NANI?! WHAT SICK PERSON WROTE THAT?!!

* * *

**

_I know I asked one question already, but this one is one I NEED answered.  
If you were able to resurrect Kuina (let's just say you found the Life Life Fruit or something) would you go out with her, date her, etc. or try to defeat/kill her? I'm not trying to fall into the group of ZoroxKuina or ZoroxTashigi groupings either. By the way, how do YOU see your relationship with Tashigi?_

_---From Julian K. Spire/ JKS_

**Dear JKS,**

**Neither I would just catch up on old stuff, spar a little and go our different ways to accomplish our goals. AND ME AND TASHIGI HATE EACH OTHER WITH A PASSION. Ahem...Understand that.**

**

* * *

**

_I have one question (No! No about love life ;)) Zoro-kun , how can you speak when you have a katana in your mouth ? You know, it must be very hard to speak and trying to not fall out your sword.  
(Awgh! my horrible english !)_

---Wonsz

**Dear Wonsz,**

**Welcome to the wonderful world of Anime.**

**

* * *

**

_Ah kay... i have a question for Zoro. Would he go out with someone if he was forced to and he doesn't really like them like that. Like the way Chuck (Chey) usually is seen with him? OH! And if Luffy somehow wasn't captain anymore, would Zoro take over? And if he wasn't there... who would take over for him? Just wanted to know if that's alright with you._

The Great Ia-Swan  
PS: If you say no to the first question, Chuck's gonna rip your heart out. You bettah run...

**Dear Ia-Swan,**

**For some reason I feel the need to block a glomping fangirl...Oh well...Ia Ia Ia...Do I know you from somewhere? Hn. Anyway, For question one, no I wouldnt---**

**(HogwartShinobi: ACK! IM GONNA DIE!!!!)**

**---As I was saying...For the second one, I probably would have to seeing as Im first mate. Although Im not sure who would next.**

**

* * *

**

_My question is that if you,Usopp and Sanji(since I know you can't stand either of them) were the last people on Earth,and you had to stay with one of them the rest of your life who would it be?  
That's my question for now Zoro-sama._

_---From Masaichu_

**Dear Masaichu,**

**Usopp. I aint staying with that pansy.**

**

* * *

**

_Internet is a very disturbing place, no?_

Is it true that you are gay Zoro, and that Sanji is actually your girlfriend/boyfriend?

_---From yuki-tenshee_

**Dear yuki-tenshee,**

**Zoro and Sanji: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WE. ARE NOT. GAY!**

**(HogwartShinobi: It was just a question...Dont have to be homophobe about it...Beside, its hot -drool-)**

**-alot of glaring-**

**(HogwartShinobi: Gomen gomen!)

* * *

**

_dear zoro-san  
what's the most embarassing thing that ever happened to you?_

---from nekosaru

**My Dear, Dear Nekosaru,**

**THIS is the most embarassing thing that has happened to me...

* * *

**

_Dear Moss-Head! This is Skie talkin'! I just wanted to ask about your...earings...they sort of kind of really take away from your 'manly figure' by quite a few points. Why do you wear 'em? Also! I think you're hair really is pink too! Sanji told me it's your real hair color. So tell the truth...is your hair really pink? Feel free to break down and tell a long emotional story about your past of pink hair while I munch on this here cupcake (munch)._

--Wiff much love (not really) Skie-Chan!

**Dear SkieLo--**

**YOU! I KNOW YOU! OH NO I AINT ANSWERING THIS CRAZY COCONUT HEAD!**

**(HogwartShinobi: Oh just answer it Marimo!)**

**(HogwartShinobi: Fine...Zoro _sama_)**

**Okay. Here's your answer. I happen to like gold earrings (which are not girly), my hair is NOT pink and you do NOT need that cupcake.**

**(HogwartShinobi: Good Bushido.)**

**They're all out to get me...**

**

* * *

**

_Yo Zoro,_

What are you like when you're sugar high?  
...  
You better not try to get out of the question.  
...  
Or my army of cocoa puff eating land pirahnas will come after you.  
...  
They will.

Have a nice day,  
---Hachinoko

**Dear Hachinoko,**

**To tell the truth if I was ever sugar high, I dont actually remember.**

**(HogwartShinobi: Pink bras dude)**

**Oh god...**

**

* * *

**

I think It's been getting better!

Zoro: You b-tchs can all go die...

Lurv you too!


	5. 4th Edition

Dear Zoro,

A lot of fanfiction writers have some wierd fetish with writing fanfics that have you gay with Luffy or Sanji. However, I know the truth: you are secretly a female crossdresser who cut off her boobs. Also, on a website I visit frequently, a certain long-nosed crewmate, who shall remain unamed, says you use your swords for female masturbation. He said "The Great Captain now knows the significance of your swords. Never speak to me again."

Please don't kill me.

---Don't...Kill...Bugs

Dear Don't...Kill...Bugs,

What right doesn't give me permission to kill you?!?!?

* * *

_Zoro,  
How much are they paying you to do this? And do you get to keep the money, or is it to pay off Nami? What would you buy if you could keep it?  
xoxo  
---pyro_

**Dear pyro/ -the-pyro-pirate-,**

**Im doing this to pay my debt off with Nami. But if I could spend it, the sword in that one town didn't look to bad...**

**

* * *

**

_MY QUESTION WAS ASKED! Oh... now he's gonna rip me apart cuz i asked that... what was my question again... oh ya! _

Q/  
Zoro... why are you so lazy? I mean you're strong, but you sleep... all the time! What's with that? Do you need the extra energy? And how can you sleep through a giant 3-part storm? Good god!

The Great Ia-Swan.  
PS: What's your favorite time of day? It's most likely night cuz you like to sleep. Duh.

_----LaCoeurdelaMer_

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**What's wrong with sleeping?? I just happen to like doing it! And the three part storm thing was a conincidence. I was sleeping, not taking a nap. Sleeping and naps are different.**

**PS-Actually I like the afternoon. Perfect time for napping.**

**

* * *

**

_Hey Zoro! Its me again! Well anyways, I just wanted to know something. If you caught Robin and Nami in a compromising position, what would you do? By compromising I mean like you see in some yuri stories! And by what would you do, I mean would you stay and watch or what? I already know that love-cook would probably go and cry his eyes out cause he's weak!_

_---Tiger-the-great-Xtra_

**Dear Tiger-the-great-Xtra,**

**Yeah...Sanji_ is_ weak. Probably could stand up from lack of nose blood. But I would just sit back and watch. Hey Ima guy, I have needs.**

**(HogwartShinobi: Hey Ima fan_girl_ I got needs too.)**

**Like what?**

**(HogwartShinobi: Let's just say... You.Sanji.Kitchen.)**

**YOU WILL DIE SLOWLY AND TORTURIOUSLY!**

**

* * *

**

_Ah, good to know that you are straight Zoro-sama. _

My next question; Do you like kids Zoro-sama?

_---luxiefer_

**Dear luxiefer,**

**You're one of the most sane people here. And your decent question gets a decent answer. Yes, I like childern, but if they start to cry I tend to avoid them.**

**

* * *

_Ahem! Yo,thanks for answering muh' qustion  
but I'm goin' to ask you once again.(Just you to know,  
I ain't pushing you to be a ZoroxTashigi or ZoroxKuina,ayt.)  
Lemme' ask ya',again.If, (ok,IF) Tashigi was Kuina, (maybe for  
some serious reasons) what'd you do?? Should you ask her to fight  
you but then ofcourse,you have beaten her.Would you join forces with her  
if Tashigi's o.k. to be with you? Or,are you going to leave her alone  
and forget about her? (or not?) _**

Any wayz,thanks again!  
Buh-bye!

P.S.: Uhm... will ya' answer muh'  
question? (Though I know it's kinda' stupid)

_---motoko aoyama_

**Dear motoko aoyama,**

**If Tashigi was Kuina huh? I've often question myself about that. But it's highly impossible. I was Kunia's funeral. I saw her body...But if she was alive, I'd join forces. **

**And I'd never forget.**

**

* * *

**

_Zoro-sama, _

Are you an alchoholic? Because you seem to drink a lot of grog.

_---mahoakitti_

**Dear mahoakitti,**

**I once read alchoholics drink alone. As you can see by the cover of the first manga, I dont drink alone.**

**

* * *

**

_HI, MARIMO-SAMA! Dis here's ChainofDreams, but call me Kree-CHAN! And don't make fun of my name or i'll draw on you wit PINK permanent marker and dye your hair blonde so you look like Sanji, that awesome cook!! _

You're kewl, u know that right? Can u train me? I'm kinda weak, but crazy and I hit HARD! Pwease? (holds up the marker and blonde hair dye)

_---Kree-CHAN_

**Dear Kree-CHAN,**

**I feel as though I should fear you as well. Hn. I also have the feeling you like Usopp O.o Anyway, You wouldnt dare marker me. For if you did, it would break one of the rules and I wouldnt have to do this any more. Wouldnt want that now would you? And no, I wont train you.**

**(HogwartShinobi: Pst. Pelt him with cupcakes, yosh!)**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Moss-Head Zoro,  
Skie again! WHAT DO YOU MEAN COCONUT HEAD? IMA KEEL YOOU! Or maybe I shouldn't...Chey'd never talk to me again...ho-hum...  
ANYwho, my question! It is...  
Do you like cats? Are you a cat person, or a dog person? Remember Cally and Synderz? My Dynamic Duo kitties! They're cute, right? ...RIGHT? And yes. Yes I do need this here cupcake takes out another cupcake See? (munch munch) _

Wiff much love (I'm fibbing) Skie-Chan!

**Dear Skie-Chan,**

**After the incident with Kuro and a strange fuzzy memory of two cats that could talked in radio communication talk and fly, Ive been tramatized into liking dogs better...**

**THROW THAT AT ME AND ILL KILL YOU! -chink-**

**(HogwartShinobi: And yeah, you can do something SIMILAR to dis. As long as it aint Zoro sama MWAHAHAHA.)**

**...Your insane.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro-san, _

Please forgive me for asking so many questions, but your answers are very interesting, and generally better than the ones that my brother gives me.  
Okay, here's my question: If, once everything's over, (You're the greatest swordsman, Luffy's King of the Pirates etc. etc...) would find out how to get back to you village and visit? You know, to pay your respects to Kuina and your old Sensei. I don't know why, but I was just wondering.  
Also, if you could, for putting you through this, would you kill HogwartShinobi next chance you get? Wait, you don't even need to answer that one...

Your friend,  
Solo-Loco Ellingson Rose

**Dear Ellingson Rose,**

**If we did go seperate ways again, yes, I would. And yes, Im going to kill HogwartShinobi in her sleep.**

**(HogwartShinobi: ACK IMA DIE!!!!)

* * *

_To Zoro nii-chan, _**

First of all I would like to say: You are my favourite Swordsman EVER! I love your hair, and that you fight with three daito katana…they are daito aren't they? And you sleep a lot, guess what I love to sleep too O.o .

And did you know that you're birthday 11/11 is the beginning of the Dutch carnaval season … well to be exact 11 november 11 minutes past 11, and since 11 is the official fools number in Holland, that makes the 11th of November Foolsday… on this very day Prince Carnaval "rules" the season. But the celebration is mostly about partying and drinking lots of beer and getting drunk. The actual celebration of Carnaval in Holland will be from 18th of February till 20th of February 2007, which is very very soon! So lets party M'lord!

And here are my questions!  
1. What is the meaning of life?  
2. What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell him or her to go?  
3. Do you find it a bit unnerving doctor's call what they do practice?  
4. Why do people yell heads up when something is flying towards your  
head... do they want you to get hit in the face?  
5. Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?  
6. How long is the long arm of the law? (Is it as long as Luffy's when he stretches?)  
7. Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?  
8. How did you gain such an amazing alcohol tolerance?

Greets and stuff from, Marcha-chwan.

P.s. : Sanji is a dork!

**Dear Marcha-chwan,**

**1. The meaning of life is what ever you make it.**

**2. Tell them to go to the next level.**

**3. Yeah I do.**

**4. The english language has many twists and turns to idioms and similes.**

**5. I ask that myself everyday...**

**6. Very, very long.**

**7. Because it's a word**

**8. Drinking it.**

**And yes Sanji is a dork. Ero-dork to be exact.**

**

* * *

**

_Haha! You really pull this off. I like how it interacts with more than one character and how the personalities are accurate. _

I have one for you, it's a bit long but it should work.

Dear Mr. 3-swords, (My nickname for him)

The adults in my social reach have been saying recently that TV is bad for you.  
You know, saying stuff like "TV has bad values," and "TV's not educational," or, "TV's turning kids into illiterate morons" and blah blah blah. Just like my teachers, that's why I space out in school.  
Anyway, what's your point of view ion the subject?

signed, H. D.

If that question is too wierd for this I can try again next time, but I hope to read more.

_---Hylian dragonness/ H. D._

**Dear Hylian dragoness/ H. D.,**

**What's a TV??**

**(HogwartShinobi: That moving picture box thingy I showed you!)**

**Oh that. Hn. I guess it depends what you watch. But if it did turn kids into that, they were stupid in the first place for believe stuff on the television device was real...Like HogwartShinobi...**

**

* * *

**

_Zoro, when was your first time and who was it with?  
---M__e_

**Dear Me (NOT HogwartShinobi lol),**

**If you're talking about intercourse, I've um...well...**

**Sanji: NEVER DONE IT BEFORE AHAHA!**

**SHUT UP YOU PERVERTED TEME!**

**Sanji: I may be a teme but as least I aint a virgi---**

**(HgowartShinobi: NEXT QUESTION!)**

**

* * *

**

_Hello Zoro-san,  
LOL!, this is so funny! Anyway, my question...  
Which do you like better, cats or dogs? And why?  
Love ya,  
-Lilygirl33_

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**Dogs.

* * *

Well...That was...**

Zoro: Totally insane and you should all be sent to an asylm?

I was gonna say intersting. Besides you dont even get a say in this.

Zoro: oh i dont?

nope cuz i can make you say anything I want.

Zoro: Oh yeah? Like wha-HogwartShinobi is sexy-YOU B-ITCH!

TEE HEE YOSHE!


	6. 5th Edition

**I got some advice and put lines between the letters if ya havent noticed XD. And yes, Zoro wont answer all questions and might even comeback with another, but hey, he IS Zoro../Marimo/MossHead/Sleep Addict/...Baka

* * *

**

**Zoro: Oi Oi**

**LOVE YA TOO!

* * *

**

_Do you secretly look at porn and masterbate? _

Please don't kill me.

---Don't...Kill...Bugs

**Dear Don't...Kill...Bugs,**

**"..."**

**(HS: ...Zoro? ZORO! Dear god you killed him!)

* * *

**

_Dear Greeny,  
Ok first just for the record-HAH I AM A SANJI FAN, IN YOUR FACE!- Ok now that i got that out of my system on to my question. Why is it that you turned down Baroque works because you couldn't be boss, but you accepted being in Luffy's pirate crew and you were not captain?  
---Hachiko-chan_

**Dear Hachiko-chan/ Sanji-kunZoro-san**

**Don't call me Greeny, Sanji's a teme and I was hyped up in the moment of saying cool lines. Did you notice I do that when Im killing people?

* * *

**

_Okay I have a question... I have a qestion have you ever watched the clouds and muttered about something being troublesome?_

_---Emma Iveli_

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

**No. Put I noticed Shikamaru did that alot when we last visited Konoha.

* * *

**

_Thanks for answering my question. I have another one. _

What kind of music are you into? Really? Because all you seem to do is sleep and be pirate-ish...

_---mohakitti_

**Dear Mahokitti,**

**I don't really listen to music. Just Luffy trying to sing...

* * *

**

_Dear Moss-Head, Zoro-Chan, Mariomo,  
Guess who? If you didn't say Skie, you're an idiot. No offense.  
I remember that fight! Even though I wasn't there in person I remember that fight like it happened yesterday. Yeah, you were all cool in that fight. I thought it was funny when Nami shoved you down the hill covered in oil...Sanji would've beaten all those pirates with one kick though...you took freaking forever. No offense, of course...  
My question is...have you ever seen the movie 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'? You know? It's like...the movie of awesome? If not, ask Kelly ta show it to you :D King Arthur could so totally beat you in swordfighting. He de-limbed the infamous Black Knight! _

P.S. - I'm going to dye your hair pink for saying you like dogs more than cats.

Sincerely, your bestest annoying pal, Skie!

**Dear SkieLOON,**

**LET'S SEE YOU TRY TO GET UP AN OIL COVERED HILL AND HAVE 4KIDS DUB YOU SAY "YOU'VE BEEN A BAD KITTY!"**

**...Anyway, Yeah, Kelly forced me to watch it, and I could kick that Mihawk wannabe's ass.**

**PS- I hate you too.

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-Kun, _

I need advice on getting the attention of a certain green haired pirate. He likes to train a lot, and when he doesn't train he's usally sleeping.He is very cute and stubborn he fights with 3 swords one in his mouth and one in each hand he likes to wear white shirts and and green pants and boots.He likes grog and hates the chef of the pirate crew the stupid blonde scum bag. I look a lot like his old rival that he had a slight crush on how sjould i try to get his attention in a more then friendly kinda way?

---Tasha the fan girl

P.s. Can i have your phone number? jk... or maybe not 0.-

**Dear Tasha/Hell's True Gift,**

**...O.o**

**(HS: Tis a fangirl, Zoro-sama...)**

**Right...Can we skip this?**

**(HS: No.)**

**Fine fine...Uh...Get this mysterious person really really REALLY drunk...

* * *

**

_I've got a question (maybe two... depends on how long i have to live just yet since i just killed myself during the 100Back today... i hate Marquette), i'm a Sanji-fangirl, of course!), if you got into a real real real real real real fight, not just one of those stupid ones, who would come out on top? And be honest! Don't just say you cuz you're a concieded jerk.  
And second, since you said you're a dog person, what's you're favorite breed. Explain. God... now I sound like my Alge book... _

Love from,  
LaCoeurdelaMer, The Great Ia-Swan!

PS: H.S., a lot of people want to kill you... and yet you're still alive. Have you gone into the Witness Protection Program?

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**ON TOP!?**

**(HS: It wasnt a perverted question.)**

**Oh. Then I would com out on top because Im cool like that. And the WPP doesnt sound like such a bad idea...**

**(HS: GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!!!)

* * *

**

_I have a question! Hey Zoro, If you could do ANYTHING in the world what would it be? (besides beating Mihawk...you have to work for that.)  
- Animefreak567 (I like this name better 3)  
_

**Dear Animefreak567/ snowymountains56,**

**Anything?? Pft I'd get out of this hell hole.

* * *

**

_Hello Roronoa sensei,  
I'm really impressed about your swordskills  
and I wanted to be strong too! But I'm still a little  
girl.. (looks down) Any way,what if you have beaten Mihawk,  
sensei? What would you do? Do you go back to your island or stay with  
your pirate crew? Are you going to marry a chick? (oh!!)  
Ayt,that's all oh and,you can just forget about the last question.  
-K.T.  
P.S; I really love Kuina and Tashigi and they're all mine  
mine I tell ya' mine! and not yours Roronoa sensei!  
(haha! I'm just kidding but I'm really obsessed about them.)_

_---motoko aoyama_

**Dear motoko aoyama,**

**I'd probably stay with my nakama. AND JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL DOESN'T MEAN YOU CANT FIGHT! CONTINUE YOUR AMBTION AND---**

**Next question.

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-sama:  
Hi! well hum... I have a question! Ok, I think that is why I am writing one, nevermind! I was going to ask you when you finally become the best swordsman ever (I know one day you would! I have faith in you!) what is going to happen with the Straw-Hat pirates? are you going to leave them or what would happen?  
Thank you for your attention _

sincerely yours;  
Lonely Musician

P.D. By the way I dont think Sanji is bad, he is just well... Special! yeah! that is the word!!

**Dear Lonely Musician,**

**I will probably stick with Luffy and the crew.**

**PS- Yeah...Real special.

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-san, _

It is so cool to be talking to you!  
I happen to have a question. OK lets see here, yes I would like to know how come you have never told Luffy about Kuina. Sorry to bug you, but I have one other Question I have been wondering this from the start, are you or aren't you a demon!?! Please I must know this!!

Yours truely,  
dark-and-deadly  
P.S- I think your hair is the coolest color ever!

**Dear dark-and-deadly,**

**Hn. I never told him?! maybe I should. And no, Im not a demon. You've probably got my Oni Giri mixed up with Demon Slash. DAMN YOU 4KIDS!!!**

**PS- I like my hair too.

* * *

**

If I find Zoro's dead body because of suicide, I'll alert you ASAP 


	7. 6th Edition

_dear zoro-san,  
when u and everyone else went to konoha did u guys meet the rookie nine? did jiraiya and sanji bond or something? _

from  
nekosaru:3

**Dear nekosaru,**

**Ahhh yes...Jiraiya...Such a troublesome pervert...The one called 'Uzumaki Naruto' was quite strange. Though I could get use to that Neji. Quiet and content.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Dr.Alge,  
Since you are second on my list of favorites (Sanji being first) i will not try to be too annoying. My question is why do you hate Sanji so much? And no you can not say because he is a skirt chaser or any of that crap.  
--Hachiko-chan _

(P.S) What the hell is a teme! It's not even a word! I looked it up in the dictionary too! How sad is that?!)

**Dear Sanji-kunZoro-San,**

**(HS: ZOMFG I LURV UR STORY XDDDDD)**

**...She just read it...Anyway, I hate Sanji because...Because he--I--Hn...I dont really...Know! Why _do_ I hate him?!**

**

* * *

**_Dear Zoro-Kun, _

It's me again you gave some of the best advice. You want to go to the bar tonight?LOL. . Kiddin though i might not if you don't give me a hug. OOH Zoro what is the best way to hurt someone without school officals finding out? (AND NOT BY KILLING THEM!)

**Dear Hell's True Gift,**

**No. As for your school problem, pay someone else to do it...

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-san,  
Thank you for answering my last question! Since you Zoro are cool, I shall try to ask some decent questions! (They're rather short, so I hope you'll answer them all!) _

1. Do you prefer white, or brown rice?  
2. When at last you defeat Mihawk, will you spare his life like he spared yours in your first fight?  
3. If Sanji (Or Nami) were drowning, and Wado Ichimonji were sinking, which would you save?

-bows head- I'm sorry Zoro-san, those weren't very good questions. ' Please forgive me. Come on, I'll buy you some Sake. How's that eh?

Your's truly,  
Solo-Loco Ellingson Rose

**Dear Ellingson Rose,**

**1. I like white rice. Hence Oni Giri**

**2. .NO!**

**3. Ma. I suppose I'd save 'em. But since Im Zoro and am a main character, that either will never happen or I'll get both eventually...**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro _

I'm sexier than you. Live with it, bitch.

-from SHAMBAYALA!

**Dear SHAMBAYALA,**

**And frankly...I dont care. **

**Although my fangirls might...**

**(HS: Oh dear O.o)**

**

* * *

**

_Hi Zoro, _

In the 5th edition when motko aoyama telling you about that she was a little girl and when you ranted on about girls able to fight, I total agree with you and also you sounded like Gai and Lee from Naruto. I like how you use swords and stuff, it looks really cool and it's really special when you use the three style way. Do you plan being single for ever? I want to learn to fight but my dad won't let me take lessons because he says I'm a girl...

Akizakura

**Dear Akizakura/aqua-flames,**

**I might plan on being single forever. ****NEVER LET GO OF YOUR DREAMS NO MATTER WHAT GENDER! YOSHA! (OCC lol)**

**(HS: _Did_ you hang out with Gai sensei in Konoha??)**

**The dude with the green spandex? Yeah, sake at a bar, why?**

**(HS: Uh. No reason...)**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-san, _

Sorry to bug you once more but I would like to know how to get rid of a physco ex-boyfriend. He will not leave me alone and I HATE HIM GOD DAMMIT! so if you could,...any suggestions?

Loveingly,  
dark-and-deadly  
P.S- do you like caramel apples? just wondering.

**Dear Dark-and-Deadly,**

**Kill him.**

**/HogwartShinobi thawks Roronoa Zoro in the back of the head.**

**NYA! Fine, let him to leave you alone, and if that doesn't work _then_ kill him.**

**PS-After a sertant fanfic, I do not like caramel apples...**

**(HS: ZoLu teehee!)**

**SHUT UP!**

**

* * *

**

_Zoro-san,_

_Did you ever DO anything with Kuina? Did you ever do anything at all?_

**Dear mahoakitti,**

**TRAINED GOSH DAMMIT, TRAINED!!!

* * *

_I got another question or two.If Luffy ever got entoxicated (aka, drunk) what do you think he would do? also, if you were in the modern world what kind of job would you have?  
-Animefreak567 _**

Review:  
Yay! more funnyness! he he! I kind of Pitty Zoro...the poor guy...he's being torchered

**Dear Animefreak567/snowymountains56,**

**Luffy would be an idiot more than he already is and if I had a modern job, HS told me I'd probably be a police academy sargent. Hn. Wonder why she said that...And yes. Torchered is the EXACT definition of this stupid, troublesome task...**

**(HS: Ugh you sound like Shikamaru-.-)**

**

* * *

**

_Dear sensei, _

Thanks for telling me that I could be strong.In really appreciate it!!  
Any way,wacha' goina' do with your broken sword? (Uh.. Yubashiri,right?)  
Are you goina' replace it with a new one,or not? Any way,that's all!  
Tnx!

P.S.; I'm going to be strong!  
(And rule the whole world! Everyone will bow down  
to me.Especially you Roronoa sensei!!)

**Dear motoko aoyama,**

**I dont know. I'll have to see how much money Im going to earn...**

**PS- Dont push it.**

**

* * *

**

_zoro-sama... er... remember that time when you lost to Mihawk and were already half dead? you made a promise then; to never lose to anybody ever again until you've beaten that hawk eye guy. but... well... er... you didn't really keep that promise did you? Cause i seem to remember you losing to enel in the skypea arch. How do you justify that?_

_---Luxiefer_

**Dear Luxiefer,**

**-twitch- I HATE THAT DAMN GOD!!!!**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Marmio-san, _

If you had to dy your hair a differnt color, what would it be? Black to make your look evil? Or blonde to make you look hot like Sanji? Or maybe another crazy color like peach?

A Sanji and Zoro fangirl,  
Lily

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**I could get out oh this question by saying a darker shade of green!**

**

* * *

**

_Zoro,  
What do you actually DO on the ship.  
I mean Sanji cooks, Nami navigates, choppers the doctor, and so on..  
But all you do is sleep...and then fight, which the rest of the crew can do aswell.  
What is the point of you?  
littlepinkangel_

**Dear littlepinkangel,**

**I PROTECT THEIR ASSES!

* * *

**

_Dear Moss-Head,  
Hello my idiotic Moss-Headed friend! Guess who! (I'm gonna let you guess who it is this time. And if you're feeling kinda slow today, here's a hint: I've played many pranks on you including painting your hair pink)  
I love this 'Ask Zoro' thing. It gives me more excuses ta pick on you! GO KELLY! WHOOT YOU ROCKETH!  
Soes, here's my question...  
If you had to pick...between going on a date with Nami, and going on a date with a potted plant, which one would you go on a date with? I just need to know. _

P.S. - I'm so flippin' drunk on chocolate milk right now... -hic-

REVIEW: I love this whole idear Kelly! GENIOUS! BRILLIANT! NYA!

**Dear SkieLOON,**

**Unlike you I hate this little thing you praise...****Anyway, that potted plant doesnt look too bad!**

**-thwaks forehead-**

**OI KELLY!**

**(HS: Hn? Wha? I was Usopp with some paint mixers, something wrong?)**

**Wait, then who was tha...Shit...**

**(Nami: THATS RIGHT YOU BETTER RUN!)**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-san _

I'm really honored that you're answering my questions, or atleast reading them which is just as cool. What is your thoughts on romance. See I'm rather confused about it and you seem to have the about same terperment as me so any advice you could give me? Also if Luffy somehow stood between you and your goal now would you kill him? Also one last question, What's your opinion on death? Like would you sacrific yourself for someone you really cared for? Ah, sorry if my question are to annoying. By the way I love wacthing you fight. Thankyou for reading and maybe answering.

-Murdoca

**Dear Murdoca,**

**At least someone has respect! Im not one on respect but if you ask me, it's its right, the one you love will come to you.**

**(HS: Hallmark card?)**

**Meh. Fortune cookie. As for Luffy, I want my goal, but if it involves my Nakama, I will not harm them.

* * *

**

_Mr. triple bladey _

What do you think of blondie's smoking habits? Ever think of telling him how he's gonna give himself and the rest of the crew cancer if he keeps up? We all know what tourure it can be trying to quit, but if he's a man he'd do it for the team. Don't you agree?

H.D.

PS-Nice moves.

**Dear H.D./Hylian dragoness,**

**Are you a doctor or something?? Of course_ I_ think it's bad. But hey, he's 19, I cant control the damn blonde.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-san:  
Hi! It is me again! greetings from far far away (Okay...forgot I said that I! have an overdose of pills because of my stupid flu gomen nasai!) Ok back again with my question; Zoro-sama I saw an episode were you were like cleaning your sword with a... cotton ball? Can you explain what was that all about I am a bit confused!  
Oh! by the way I also love swords but ehem... I cant have one because... ehmm... lets say I have a fiery temper, but I have a question concerning swords! I have strong arms but I prefer speed rather than force, wich sword will you recommend me?  
I know they are two question in one review gomen! Thank you for your attention I hope you answer me soon! _

sincerely yours;  
Lonely Musician

P.D.: We have agreed that Sanji is very special concerning woman; But why? I cant understand!

**Dear Lonely Musician,**

**It takes a gentle fist-**

**(HS: NEJI SAMA XD)**

**-...To clean a sword properly. A use the cotton ball to buff and polish it. And the sword question concerning which one, it actually depends on your body structure. Like how tall you are and things like that. If you want a list of kantana, message HS. She has a list for some strange...reason...

* * *

**

_Dear zoro, _

do you plan having a kid to pass on your skills? and with what kind of woman?

**Dear videl reyes,**

**If I did, I wont know what kinda woman...

* * *

_Dear Swordsman, _**

Well...there are alot of things one my mind. I don't believe your hair is pink. But did you go swimming alot in pool with chlorine? That can make people's hair green if they dont wash their hair.

Ok here's my real question. Did anyone try to pull pranks on you when you sleep? I think you were pushed off the ship once accidently though in your sleep? (I dont really watch the anime)

sincerely,

Addy

P.S. whispers I'm sending a rescue crew to get you and whoever's over there out of the authoress iron grip. So you can be on your merry way to find that One Piece.. V

**Dear Addy/ FattyAddy-99,**

**THANK THE LORD! SALAVTION FROM THIS PRISON!**

**(HS: I dont think so!)**

**Damn! Hn, Ive had so many pranks on me I cant even count'em.

* * *

**

_I know I've already asked two questions, but what the heck:  
Firstly - I know you're straight. It just doesn't seem to me like you're the type to be gay. (no offense to those who are) Also, you just don't have time for girls because you're so busy training, right? On to the questons:_

_1. If Tashigi asked you out on a date, what would you do?  
2. If Nami offered to relieve you of your debt to date her, what would you do?  
3. If Mihawk died in an accident, how could you become the greatest swordsman? Would you go after the next best or something?  
4. What are your individual opinions of your crewmates?  
5. What was your opinion of Captain Kuro?_

_JKS_

**Dear JKS/Julian Ketrarch Spire,**

**1. No**

**2. Yes. Well, Ill go but Im dont 'doing' anything.**

**3. I'd go after the one next in line.**

**4. Luffy's couragous yet stupid, Nami's clever but ill--tempered, Usopp's great at fixing things except his brave-botton, Sanji's...An ass, Chopper's cool except he need to accept people's praise and I KNEW Robin had a dark past. Unless you haven't seen the Enies Lobby arc, in which, she's still on probation on my list.**

**5. CATS! CATS EVERYWHERE! I HATE THEM!!!

* * *

_Hey... you didn't answer my other question... The one with the Dog breed? Well, anyway... i have a question for you! I was thinking of the movie, Ferris Buler's Day Off, and was wondering; What would you do if you had a day off? You know, from being a wanted pirate. What would you do? Run rampid across Chicago in a 67 Ferrari? And! For Sanji! (I know this is a Zoro QnA but Sanji comes in now and then? Right?) What would you do if you went to an all guys Cooking School? _**

For evah and evur till i die of heart failer (acording to Chey)  
LaCoeurdelaMer! (The hear of the Sea!)

PS: You should go into the WPP. Then H.G. wouldn't force you to write to all of us about our meaningless questions. Right??!?

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**What's a Ferrari? (HS: Those things on wheels I showed you. But your not going to get permission to drive it.) Oh. Well I'd probably just...Sleep.**

**/Mugiwara Pirates sweatdrop**

**NANI?! ITS THE TRUTH! Anyway, next question's for Sanji...**

**Sanji: Cooking School huh? I would get A's while the rest of you...Might do 'okay' **

**(HS: All your ego's are HUGE!!!)**

**

* * *

**

Uh...Sorry to let you this, but Zoro got away -.- so while I go look for him, Luffy will take over XD

Luffy: I will?

Yup!

Luffy: YOSHA!

Plus Im gonna work on my other stories, like my new one, 'To Change Their Ways' and 'Till It's Gone' blah blah blah. Well...

DAI SEI KOU! (SUCCESS!)


	8. 7th Edition, Letters 4 Luffy!

_Dear Luffy-kun, _

Dang I was just about to ask Zoro-kun a question! Oh well I'll just wai'till ya capture him again Kelly!

Anyway here is my question for Luffy-kun...if you were stuck out at sea like a week away from any land and you ran out of meat and all you had left were vegetables, fruit and stuff like that what would you do?

Would you go into meat withdrawl and start trying to eat Chopper-sensei? Hm? I mean I know he's your Nakama and everything but you could start hallucinating or some thing like that...

Byes!

P.S I only just realised that I managed to get through all that without sounding to much like a Luffy-fangirl!

---Aimee

**Dear Aimee,**

**HEHE! I'd eat the fuirts and vegetables of course! But like on Drum Island, Chopper looked real good!**

**P.S - Luffy-fangirl? I have fans? What kind?**

**(HS: Just shut up and back away very,very slowly...)

* * *

_Dear Luffy-san, _**

Hello, Luffy. I have a question. What do you do when you're scared of something? Sorry that's it's a rather personal question. Oh by the way, both Shanks and your village was happy to see you get your first bounty. Thought you might like to know.

-Murdoca

**Dear murodoca,**

**If Im scared? Face it of course!** **I'll need a challenge to get through the Grand Line, ne? And Shanks liked my first bounty?! YOSHA! I told him I'd make it as a pirate!

* * *

_Oh why did Roronoa sensei got away?  
Any way,I wouldn't bother him.. (I think he's mad at me  
for saying that I will rule the world.. yeah I think he's  
mad.) _**

Any way,dear Luffy-kun,

You're really cute but kinda' stupid sometimes but really strong!  
And that's what I like about cha'! Any way,you know the way when you  
looked at Nami from the first time you meet? It's like,in a fairy tale  
or romance movie.Why's that? (Oh! You like her don't cha'?! Hahaha! You're  
soo cute!!)

P.S.; Just keep on smiling! I'll see ya' in a weird dark island  
surrounded by evil people if you ever got the guts to go there.  
Bye

_---motoko aoyama_

**Dear motoko aoyama,**

**Ne? I did? I don't remember...

* * *

_So... is Luffy answering the questions? Ok! _**

Have you ever eaten a balenced diet? I mean really? All meat? Isn't that kinda dangerous for your heart? I mean Zoro could cuz he doesn't have one...

Please answer soon! I gotta go cuz the bells gonna ring in about 4 minutes (8:26 AM now), See ya!

Love from  
LaCoeurdelaMer! A lovely person (not to Zoro) !P

**Dear LaCoeurde-Ia,**

**Balanced diet?? What's that?? What's wrong with meat?!

* * *

_Dear Luffy-san, _**

Are you jealous that Zoro, Sanji, and Ace get most of the fangirls? Or do you not care?

One of YOUR fangirls,  
Lily  
(Lol, Zoro escaped? HaHa)

_---Lilygirl33_

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**Meh. I don't care...

* * *

_I think that Zoro is ten times way cooler than you, you ditz of a captain. What you have to say to that, ditz?_**

_---flower-girl_

**(HS: YOUR ASS IS MINE!)**

**MAH! Kelly! Calm down! **

**...What does ditz.

* * *

_To Luffy,  
Zoro's stolen your meat._**

_---littlepinkangel_

**Dear littlepinkangel,**

**NANI?!**

**

* * *

**

_Luffy's Taking over?? Oh well,  
For Luffy:  
Have you ever had any sexual thoughts about Zoro? Do you even know what sexual thoughts are?  
p.s. big fan of your, got my own crew in your name. _

In case you recapture Zoro:

I recently got into a fight with this kid. I managed to puch his lights out, but the first mate of my crew wanted to pound him. She said you would agree that she should've messed him up, seeing this kid was acting like a total Bellamy.

Do you agree?

-ocean view- luffy (sorry 'bout the pink hair thing)

**Dear ocean-view-luffy,**

**YOUR NAME ROCKS, YOSHA!**

**Sexual thoughts? About Zoro? No!**

**

* * *

**

_We get to ask Luffy questions now? That has both its pros and cons! Like how can I bother Zoro? That's a con. But Luffy's meh buddy, so that's a pro:D Hey Luffy! It's Skie! I rule, just so you know. And here's my question for you, Captain: Honestly...who do you think is skinnier, you or me? I know Usopp said you were when we had our little spat, but who do you think is skinnier? Think your answer over carefully or I'll steal your dinner tonight. :D _

Luv (like a teddybear) Skie-Chan!

**Dear SkieLoon,**

**I think your skinner of course! ...Just...Dont hurt me again -.-**

**

* * *

**

_Hm...Luffy's got a chapter huh? -evil giggle.- okay Luffy-sama! I got a few questions!  
1. what does the word 'Yosh' mean?  
2. If you had to pick a pet what kind would it be?  
3. When you become the KoP will you give Boshi back to Shanks? or keep it for yourself?  
-Animefreak567  
Ps: -shifty eyes. GLOMP!- _

Review: Maybe I'll break zoro out..

**Dear Animefreak567/snowymountains56,**

**1. I dont know, I just saw it, YOSH!**

**2. ...A MONKEY XD**

**3. Of course! Im going to keep my promise!**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Luffy-san,  
What would you do if your hat fell into the ocean and none of your crewmates were around?_

**Countess of Darkness,**

**...Be stupid and go after it and hope someone finds me -.-**

**

* * *

**_dear luffy-san  
do u know who your father is? i haven't watched that part of the anime yet._

_-nekosaru-_

**Dear Nekosaru,**

**No. I don't. Kelly was going to tell me up them she was tackled by her friends saying it would disrupt the space time cuntinum. So she just shireked Louge Town arc and left the room screaming.**

**

* * *

**

_Luffy-kun..._

Zoro's gone, eh?? thats ok! you cool too! smiles anyway, this question has been on my mind since day 1 Its a little perverted though...

Can you really strech ANY part of your body/ (sorry, but it was comming!) What would happen if you got drunk??

and if you had to get with one person on the crew, who would you think it would be??

this is the last question (for now, anyway) sorry, but, uh .. well, rubber freezes when Ice and super freezing is involved, and before you guys get to Water 7, theres the guy who can freeze everything! (sorry for my logic XDD) since he froze you, wouldn't your powers stop for a little??  
thanks for everything:D Sorry this was long...but I got a lotta question to ask you and everyone else! I only meant to ask 1 or 2 questions...guess I blew that, ne? well, later! -  
Angst lover  
(p.s. you should host this section more often, or just pop in every now and then --)

_---Angst Lover_

**Dear Angst Lover,**

**I _think_ I can stretch any part of my body. Why? Do you like my---**

**(HS: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!)**

**...Okay. If I got drunk, I dont think I would remember, I dont want to get with anyone on the crew andw hen I got frozen I couldnt move, breath or do anything.**

**p.s. I can do that! YOSHA!**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Luffy,_

Is it true that Zoro got away? Well, that's sad, I wanted to ask him a question, but I guess since it's also concerning you dear captain, you could answer it for me! (Evil grin)  
Have you ever noticed/been suspiscious of the way Sanji and Zoro interact? Because... Like HogwartShinobi I am also a fanGIRL with needs... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And the whole kitchen idea seems very promising, no Luffy, they're not going to EAT... Well... Not EAT, EAT at least... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Okay, my perverted side is getting the best of moi! So...

Me have another quessy! For Luffy, What's your most favourite food? Do you like pork-buns like Goku from Saiyuki? And what's yours and Ace' full name 'D' included!Yosh! This has been too long, hope its alright...

your friendly midnight stalker signing-off!

_---sailormulti01_

**Dear sailormulti01,**

**Hai, Zoro got away and Kelly told me to take over for awhile. **

**The way Sanji and Zoro interact? All they do is fight and argue. And what do you mean by not going to eat, eat?**

**/HogwartShinobi SIGHS whispers in Luffy's ear.**

**NANI?! GUYS CAN DO THAT?!**

**

* * *

**

lol I think Luffy needs to go to Sex ED class XD.

And dont worry people who asked Zoro questions. Zoro will answer them next chapter with the next ones cuz guess what I FOUND HIM n.n

Zoro: Sons of b-tches told her where I was, didn't you, DIDNT YOU!? I SWEAR ILL FIND THE ONES WHO TOLD MY LOCATION YOU BASTARDS!

...sigh Ill get the traquillizer.


	9. 8th Edition

**_IMPORTANT ANOUNCCMENT BECIDES THE FACT I CANT SPELL IT!_**

Okay. It's not _that_ important BUT so it's easier for me, please put your letters like so:

_Dear (Insert embarssing Zoro name here),_

_Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah??_

_---(Advice Name(If you have one)/Username)_

Dont ask I copy and paste like crazy XD You dont have to but it's easier for me and I can get more done faster.

* * *

_Dear Zoro, _

Who do you hate most? Sanji or Nami?

_---Rising Justice_

**Dear Rising Justice,**

**Ugh. Sanji's an ass but can he make be do this stupid advice/question column??**

**

* * *

**

_To Zoro,_

_1. If you got married who would be your best man?  
2. If you had a kid, who would be their godparents? (Baring in mind you can only have 4)  
3. Who are your parents?  
4. What's your faverate kind of alcohol?  
5. Why do you sleep so much?  
6. Where did you live before you went to the dojo?_

_Ok, some random questions there!  
---littlepinkangel_

**Dear littlepinkangel,**

**1. Probably Luffy.**

**2. ...Nami and or Robin?**

**3. That's for me to know and kill you if you found out.**

**4. The alcoholic kind.**

**5. Because I want to.**

**6. I lived in the village next to it.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro-san, _

I have a question for you, If you weren't a swordsman, bounty hunter or a pirate what would you be?

P.S.  
Those people who think that you're gay are annoying. Why can't they just accept the fact that you're straight?

--Saemi

**Dear Saemi,**

**If I had a choice I wouldnt have a job and just sleep all day.**

**Mugiwara: -sweatdrop-**

**PS- ARIGATO! THATNK YOU FOR SEEING IM AM NOT GAY!**

**(HS: awww -.- But you're hot when your gay...)**

**DO YOU EVEN LISTEN TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU TALK?!**

**(HS: Meh. I drift in and out)**

**

* * *

**

_What is with you people?  
Anyhoo... it's 9:30 am and i'm suppose to be in Band. SNOW DAY SNOW DAY SNOW DAY SNOW DAY! God I love them. We were lucky to get all this snow from the south east... (we should get it from the north east)  
Now onto the question...  
Luffy, if Nami was about to fall off a cliff and Sanji was about to fall off the same cliff, who would you save? No you can't say both cuz that's just not how the question is phrased. You can only save one person, who would it be? I really don't care who you choose (being a Sanji-fangirl you'd think that i'd totaly moorder you and blame Skie if you chose to save Nami) because i'd like to know. And would I make a good crew member?  
Love ya like a brotha, Mind-Bender-Chan_

**Dear Mind-Bender-Chan/Ia/LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**Pft. I dont have to do anything. Sanji would somehow get Nami, stop his fall, land on his feet, then scream at me for not doing anything even though he knew I knew he knew he could do it. Break that down mind reader.**

**

* * *

**

_Hee Hee here's a question for you Zoro,  
I hear a lot of people call you a monk. Is it true? Also if your eyes were coloured (instead of black dots ((I seriously don't know how you can see) would they be green? I'm a fan of yours by the way! -  
JA MATA! _

-Oni Giri Slash yori-

**Dear Oni Giri Slash yori,**

**Im no monk. And I think my eyes would be green too. Most fanfics say that anyway.**

**(HS: ahem _yaoi_ fanfics.)**

**You can go die now.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-san,  
First of all l would you like to tell you that you are my favorite character in one piece and second of all I do not think you are gay. My question is "Who is stronger you or Luffy?". I think you should have a higher bounty, even though Luffy is captin.  
with most respect  
jumpxonxjupitar_

**Dear jumpxonxjupitar,**

**Yosh. Zoro II Kelly 0.**

**(HS: mumble muble)**

**We almost answered that. With the whole Whisky Peak thing. God Luffy. He's sort of stupid isnt he? But, actually, none of use know. Cuz we'll have to ee, ne?

* * *

_hehehe! thanks for answering my question Luffy! -  
sence Zoro's back...one last round of questions from me!  
1. whats your favorite attack?  
2. if you've ever meet Goku from DBZ, who would win between him and Luffy in an eating contest? I got that idea a while ago...  
3. in the beginning of the series you wore your bandana all the time, why was that? now you don't really do so...  
4. what do you think that your life would be like if you never meet Luffy?  
5. how much do you make form this job? _**

**Dear snowymountains567,**

**1. Oni Giri**

**2. Someone can beat Luffy??**

**3. I dont really get time to put it on. They just attack out of no where and I have to that whole "GET DOWN" -chink, kick their ass and runs- thing. You know how it is. Nobody talks any more.**

**4. ...An un-Luffy like life?**

**5. Just enough, snowy, just enough...**

**

* * *

**

_Hi Zoro, _

I have a question for ya!! What happen to your parents? And what do you think about guns?

Your friend,  
BadLuckCat

**Dear BadLuckCat,**

**Che. Where are Sanji's parents? Nami's? Mihawk's? Crocodile's? Smoker's? Yugi's? Seto's? Peagasus'? Jounochi's? Sakura's? Orochimaru's? Tsunade? Jiarya? Voldermort's? Your's?! ANSWER THAT!**

**And anyone can shoot a gun, it takes skill to slice'em in half.**

**

* * *

**

_Mr. Green Bushido (and Luffy),  
Hah! I knew Kelly would find you! Hah! And sorry to Luffy for not asking you a question before, I was going crazy with homework that day. So I will ask questions for you both!  
So Marimo, Why is it that you don't change the clothes you wear. I mean come on, Sanji changes outfits like every arc. You...well you change like every three. Then you go back to wearing the same outfit in fillers. Do you just have issues picking out your clothes?  
Captain Luffy, I noticed that you're never really that serious when you fight. Except when they anger you of course. Why is that? Also you always smile when you fight, do you have like this vision that you're going win or something?  
-Hachiko-chan_

**Dear Hachiko-chan/Sanji-kunZoro-san,**

**I just find my normal clothes comfy. Say, did you notice One Piece has the most clothes changing in all anime?? Oh, Hey Luffy, this one's for you!**

**Luffy: It is?? Oh! I dont know Why Im only serious in fighting. And I smile when I fight because it confuses the enemy into a "omg he knows something I dont, Dammit " position.

* * *

_Dear Moss-Head,  
Zoro's back! Yay! Hi Zoro! It's Skie again:D Aren't you happy now? Say yes. _**

Anywho, here's my great and fantastic question: What...is your favorite color? HAAH! That's the mostest classical question evers! I win! Ya can't beat that! HAH! I win again! More points for Skie:P Nyah!

From the winner: SKIE:D

**Dear SkieLOON,**

**No. You've been on Quizilla again, havent you. Anyway, favorite color's probably green.

* * *

_Zoro you're back! #sob,sob# I miss you. _**

Now, question... Zoro-sama, do you like apple juice?

_---Luxiefer_

**Dear Luxiefer,**

**I guess.**

**Why do I have a sudden urge to kill people of 4Kids...?**

**

* * *

**

_Hi welcome back Zoro-nii-chan! (Feel sorry for you that you got caught again) _

Jup it's me again!  
I think I know why you didn't look at Nami's Happiness punch. Could it be because she said: "Ok! That will be 10 belli each!" I'm right ne? You totally would have looked if she hadn't said that, or wouldn't you?

One more question (HogwartShinobi please make sure he answers!): What kind of underwear do you wear? (I know Sanji wears boxers…blue with pink/reddish hearts O.o … talking about pathetic) Why I ask this, I believe that a man's underwear tells something about their personality.

Ps. Sanji is still a dork !

_---Marcha-chwan._

**Dear Marcha-chwan,**

**I might have looked...**

**-runs for it-**

**(HS: AW NO YOU DONT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!)**

**...Foiled again...**

**My...MY UNDERWEAR HAVE SWORDS ON THEM!!! YA HAPPY?!**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Marmio-kun, _

Lol, you got away!! You should escape again, and then maybe HogwartShinobi will have Sanji take over(wink wink, nudge nudge). Lol, and then all us Sanji-fangirls can torchure HIM, lol. And if you need help escaping again, im sure you can ask Sanji and Luffy for help. I mean, I bet Luffy is to dumb to no better, and Sanji would probly love 2 take ur spot and get these girls' attention!

So wat do ya think?

Love ya!  
-Lilygirl33

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**Interesting...**

**(HS: Try Zoro to chair.)**

**Damn.**

**

* * *

**

_dear zoro-san,  
sorry for asking this question but once when i was looking through fanfics i found this vivixkohza/vivixzoro pairing. how do you plead? _

-nekosaru:3

great advice column please update soon:3

Dear Nekosaru,

**O.o VIVI?! WITH ALL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND YOU PICK VIVI?!**

**

* * *

**

_yo HogwartShinobi-san  
by the way, where was Zoro-kun hiding anyway? _

Zoro-kun, if you could change your hair color would you do it and who would you ask?

What sports are you good at? i think you'd be good at basketball, i don't know, it's a gut feeling... yea

Are you stronger than the ero-cook-kun? Because i think you are, you always take on the second strongest and dartboard-eyebrow-kun always takes on the third strongest.

Did you ever meet Shikamaru from Naruto? I like him but i like you too!

How much beli do you owe Nami-san? I think it's a whole lot!

Were you ever hurt that people called you a demon?

well that's it for me... oh yea and Luffy-kun, if Zoro suddenly wasn't a part of your crew, how would you react?

**Dear LazyxDreamer,**

**Maybe black. Seems...Samurai-ish. I'd ask myself to do it thank you very much.**

**Im good at fencing. Ha. Didnt see that coming.**

**He does. Hn, something to tease him about.**

**Nara Shikamaru's my kinda guy. Layed back and quiet.**

**It's alot.**

**No, hurtful words do not effect me. That is for the weak hearted.**

**HS and Luffy: -gasp- NOT APART OF THE CREW??**

**Luffy: I WOULD GO AFTER HIM!**

**HS: I would cry and then confess my love for him at the last moment to make him think about it then come back.**

**HS: ...You didnt hear that from me.**

**

* * *

**

_Why not, I'll ask a question or two of Mr. Monkey D. Luffy, _

1. How far can you stretch? Someone told me you can just keep stretching, but your arm would eventually become one atom thick and snap apart, so how far can you really stretch?  
2. Do you like Nami as anything other than a nakama? Too many people pair you up with her, and I'm curious.  
3. Of all the villians you've defeated, which one did you think was coolest? Come on, admit it. At least one was moderately cool, right?

JKS

**Dear JKS,**

**Luffy:**

**1. 30 gomu gomu's.**

**2. Nami's my friend!**

**3. Buggy is awesome! **

**Mugiwara: -sweatdrop-****

* * *

**

Okay. Luffy's gotta go.

AWWWW

Yeah, sorry. but Zoro's not gonna get payed if people keep asking Luffy XD

And dont worry. Zoro's not getting away. I just bought super duper glue.


	10. 9th Edition

_Dear Zoro, _

What's your favorite type of juice? I like apple juice the best, when I was little, I drank the whole airplane supply of apple juice. Yummy! But I threw up after, or so my sister claims. Do you think Naruto can beat Luffy in a ramen eating contest? You wear underwear with swords on them? That's a little werid to accept. Why do messed-up people make yoai parings when there's none? I know you're not gay and it's distrubing how girls like yoai parings... That's scary. A couple things scare me is when grown up men cry, Akatsuki members act hella childish, stuff like that. -/\- Itachi! XD! What's your favorite type of books? Do you read fanfiction? Do you go on Mediaminer? I have an account there, visit me sometimes. My account is indreamland4ever. Do you know where to get swords? 3 style is really cool, how did your friend die? Where's your parents? Sanji's, Mihawk's, Crocodile's, Smoker's, Yugi's is somewhere out there. Nami's, Seto's, Orochimaru's, Tsunade's, Jiarya's Voldermort's are dead. I don't know who Jounochi's parents are. My dad is in his room, my mom is in Taiwan visiting my grandfather. Oh and Peagasus's parent are in heaven grazing on grass and Sakura's is in her house.

Akizakura (I changed my username it use to be aqua-flames)

_---Akizakura_

**Dear Akizakura,**

**Mah, mah! So many questions! Okay, first off, I think apple juice is pretty good, but I prefer...Rum, I didnt think it was humanly possible to have someone else eat as much as Luffy, yes Im not gay, what the hell is Akasuki, I try not too read period, my friend died because she fell down the stairs, and thanks for clearing up the parent thing.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-kun, _

It's me again I had my fun bugging you now... YOU WERE IN THERE WITH THE OTHER GUYS WHEN NAMI DID THE HAPPINESS PUNCH! I LOOKED AND DIDN'T SEE YOU I THOUGHT YOU WEARN'T A PERVERT LIKE THAT SCUM-BAG SANJI!...or were people lying... well WHY? WERE YOU THERE? HM? YOU WERE AWESOME! NOW YOUR SOME PSHYCO PERVERTED BAKA! Well I'm done ranting so ... if you ever switched personalitys with Sanji and yougot switched back after words though you did some "things" you regeret what would you do??

From your maybe fangirl hells true gift/ Tasha

**Dear Hell'sTrueGift/Tasha**

**Uh...It wasnt me? Anyway, if I was Sanji, hm? Well, I too am I guy. So there are many things I would regret doing. But Im not going to say...**

**PS- Stop stalking me

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-san,  
thank you for answering my last question. This time I have two of them. If you found the CEO of 4kids and he was defenseless, what would you do to him? (might I suggest something that involves decapitation)My second question is Would you consider Luffy your best friend and vis versa?  
your #1fan  
jumpxonxjumpitar_

**Dear jumpxonxjumpitar,**

**Decapitation is good. But chopping off is too fast...I think making him watch his own damn shows would work. And yeah, I think Luffy's my best friend.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear zoro, _

Do you like sweet stuff? In the context of food and drinks I mean.

_---Luxiefer_

**Dear Luxiefer,**

**Thank Kami. Other might think you would mean...Other things...**

**(HS: Muwahahaha. Ima perv.)**

**O.o Anyway, Yeah, I like sweet stuff.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro, _

okay...lat time I said that it was last round..but I lied. More from me. and HS is a little nuts...how can GLUE keep and SWORDSMEN in place? answer me that!  
anyhow...my -not last- question!  
Whats your favortie tyle of music?  
If Luffy didn't tell you that Ace was his brother would you think that they were related?  
And a question if Franky's there too...why is the world did you chose Cola as a power up? Why soda? it does not make sence! is it the caffine!?  
-Animefreak567  
Ps: Dunno Why I'm saying this but neh...Hs, please let Zoro not get glued to a chair...

**-Animefreak567/snowymountains56,**

**How _can_ glue hold me down??**

**...Hn... -crunch-**

**(HS: HOY! GET BACK BAKA HEAD!)**

**/HogwartShinobi chases after Roronoa Zoro**

**/HogwartShinobi asks readers for a few moments of patience...**

**.../Roronoa Zoro is back.**

**Damn.**

**(HS: YOU BET YOUR ASS, DAMN!)**

**Hmph. Anyways...I dont really listen to music, nor would I think Luffy and Ace would be related. As for your Cola question...Why would you question that in an anime with people that have natural green hair, gomu gomu powers and super human strength?! That's like asking why's the sky blue!**

**(HS: I can say the clouds are purple, but that doesnt mean they are -.-)**

**JUST LET IT GO!!!!

* * *

**

_Hi Zoro! _

Now here's an absolute great question worth answering...why? Because I'm curious!  
Ahem, out of ALL your time with your nakama and ALL the enemies you've defeated, have you EVER met a guy that is COMPLETELY bold. Now he has to be COMPLETELY! Nothing else. No cool patterns, no small bits of hair poking around the edges, NOTHING... an absolute CLEAN shave!  
So... have you met one?

-Oni Giri Slash yori-

**Dear Oni Giri Slash,**

**I...Dont think so...? Whatever. Why the hell would you ask that anyway? Why does it matter?!**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-san, _

I'm sorry you get recaptured. But since I have the chance I would like to ask you a question. What's the heaviest weight you lift for training? Thank you very much for reading, I'm honored as always. Good luck escaping or paying off your debt.

-Murdoca

**Dear Murdoca,**

**I dont know, 1 ton? I dont really make sure, I just lift them. And thank you, you're very polite, mature. Unlike SOME PEOPLE...**

**(HS: BITE ME CACTUS HEAD)**

* * *

_Dear Zoro-Sama, _

Yay! Your back!glomps. Sorry. Now for my questions:  
1.How many dojos do you think you beat when you were a kid?  
2.When you become the best swordsman,will you still travel with Luffy?  
3.Where's the best spot on the ship for sleeping in your opinion?  
That's all for now. Oh and ZORO-SAMA'S NOT GAY!hugs Zoro plush.

**Dear Masaichu,**

**1. Actually, I never beat any, remember? I asked to defeat Kunia, and in turn if I lost, I would devote my teaching's to the dojo. And I, you know...Lost -sweatdrop-**

**2. I think I will.**

**3. The bottom deck, starboard side. Lost of shade by nood.**

**And thanks, I like people like you that believe Im not gay.**

**(HS: Not even a little TT3TT?)**

**NO! What's your obsession with me being gay?!**

**(HS: ...Because ZoSan ish hot XD)**

**

* * *

**

_dear zolo/zoro-san,  
gomenasai again. what do u think of the oc/mary sue pairings?  
__  
-nekosaru-_

**Dear nekosaru,**

**I can live with Oc's but Mary Sue most of the time annoy me. Them and their perfect selves...**

**

* * *

**

_Ok! Ok! Ok! Ok! (exhales and passes out) (regains some awakness and gets up to type this) _

Ok... if you played any instrament... what would it be? I play flute so... and guitar (not very well)

Also, If you were stuck on a deserted island, what food would you want, what thing, and what person would you most likely want to be on the island with?

(what if i said i helped find you?) Love ya like some insane yet quiet brotha (just like my brotha... hm...) OliveIa!

I should be in school right now... te hee!

_---LaCoeurdelaMer_

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**HS suggested I would probably play the drums. I think it fits, dont you?**

**If I was stuck on a deserted island, I'd bring Oni Giri, my Wado aaaaaaaaaaaand...A volley ball I will call Wilson.**

**AndifyouhelpedgetmeoutofthisfreakingprisonIwouldlikethat.**

**

* * *

**

_Oh.. hello once again Roronoa sensei...  
Look uhm,I'm really sorry about when I said that  
I will rule the world and make everyone kneel.  
It's because,I'm just a sad little girl with no friends...looks down  
(I have friends but I have to find them.)  
Any way,let's not get all dramatic.  
-  
Have you ever met Demon eyes Kyo from Samurai deeper Kyo?  
Boy,he's a really good swordsman (and a real looker!) If you have  
the time to find him,please do.Damn,he's really good,he's killed  
a thousand men! _

Have you also met Kenshin Himura? He's the travelling samurai.I'm sure  
you've heard from him.He's a legendary killer.But now he stopped killing  
people.But I doubt that though..

I'm sure you know Mugen from Samurai Champloo.He's funny,cool and stupid..  
Hahaha!

Hmm.. let's see,do you know that the best swordsman in Japan (which is,I know,your  
country) was Musashi Miyamoto.It's true,but know he's dead.He was in the history of  
Japan.. I think.You could fight him when you were alive in his time though..

Any way,my question is..  
If you ever got to meet them,would you fight them? They are really good and maybe if you beat  
them all... Your nakama and your sensei would be soo proud of you.(Also,that chcik up in  
heaven would also be soo proud.And jelous maybe.. I know you know her..) Hahaha! Thanks!

P.S.;I'll be strong but I won't take over the world.  
Thank ya' soo much!!

_---motoko aoyama,_

**Dear motoko aoyama,**

**Yes, all the swordsmen get together at the "Katana Konvention" smack dab in the middle of Toyko, Japan where all the fangirls can see then glomp us, just to fight each other. -rolls eyes-**

**PS: You continuious quest for world domination is quite odd

* * *

**

_Hey Zoro...  
You probably don't remember me but I asked one question a while ago...anyways...are you secretly a ninja?? Cause I think that only a TRUE NINJA could get past Hogwart Shinobi's traps and st00f that I heard she set up to stop you from escaping...plus she must be part ninja too cause of the second part of her name SHINOBI...anyways...yeah. Ninjas...  
Signed,  
Tiger!!_

**Dear Tiger/Tiger-the-great-Xtra,**

**Im no ninja! Im a samurai! ...Oh wow, her name does how the word Shi...No...Bi...DAMMIT!**

**

* * *

**

_Hi Zoro!!  
I have a question. When you found out Luffy knew nothing, and you were sitting in a tiny rowboat when you joined... did you think joining his crew was your death sentence?_

_Because I like Luffy... he wouldn't kill you. I'm also a ZoLu fan -smiles- besides, Luffy likes my name... so don't speak out!!_

_-ocean-view-luffy (sorry about the pink hair thing)_

**Dear ocean-view-Luffy,**

**You do not realize how stupid I thought myself was...**

**ZOLU?! DEAR KAMI YOU THINK IM GAY TOO!**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Marmio-kun! _

HogwartShinobi-san-  
1.) Could you PLEASE go and capture Sanji for a round of questions!?!?!?

Marmio-kun-  
1.) K, this is a stupid question, but what kind of 'pack' do you have. Ya know, 6-pack, 8-pack? Like Ace has a 10-pack(Ive counted, lol)  
2.) I do not think you or any of the guys in One Piece are gay, and i think you are hotter than Sanji, but i think Ace is hotter than you, and Sanji is cuter than you, but Luffy is cuter than Sanji, but you are sexier than Luffy, and Ace is both hott and sexy, but Sanji is the most handsome of all, and I can decide which of you guys are the coolest...what do you have to say?

-iLUVu/Lilygirl33

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**(HS: Che, you'll have ta spring the marimo out first...)**

**SOS! **

**1.) ...I think I have a 6...pack...I dont look at myself!**

**2.) ...Your interesting in men amaze me...**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Bushido-sama, _

After becoming the worlds greatest do you intend to open a dojo of your own? If so, what will it be called and will it be on the Grand Line or on the Red Line?  
I'd like to suggest the Calm Belt - the islands there probably have the most pleasant weather and it would also pose a challenge to you to get to and from the island (meat wouldn't be a problem - SeaKings everywhere!)

Respectfully  
- Azure T.

**Dear Azure T./ lil-alfeegi-clone,**

**I never thought of that. I might, if I do not stay with the Straw Hats, which I probably will.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-kun, _

Hi! It's me again! Sorry you're stuck here. By the way, I don't think you're gay either. You and Luffy are great for Nakamaship, not Yaoi/Shonenai. I'd just like to get that out now. :)  
Anyways! My question. If you had to write a book, what would it be about?  
And normally I would ask if I could rub your hair, (It just looks to soft and fluffy!) but in order to preserve your small amount of sanity left, I shall refrain from doing so.

Yours sympathetic,  
Solo Loco Ellingson-Rose

**Dear Solo Loco Ellingson-Rose,**

**Yosh! No yaoi, no shonenai!**

**If I wrote a book, it would be my travels, a few swordsmanship tips and how I killed Hawk-Eyed Mihawk. **

**...Is my hair being soft and fluffy suppose to me a compliment?**

**

* * *

**

_Dear You With All Those Swords Strapped To Your Hip!,  
First of all, you rock. You fought Luffy to a standstill in Whiskey Peak. Luffy has Devil Fruit powers (good ones, no less) and a wicked punch. What do you have? Three swords, and an infected chest wound. That's pretty damn impressive.  
My questions: What fighting and styles do you most like/respect besides your own? (I'm big on anything with swords or halberds, or weapons filled with gadgets). Were Johnny and Yosaku ever really that helpful besides loaning you swords? Has Chopper ever freaked out/lectured you on the wounds Mihawk gave you? And finally, can you reliably slice things without touching them like Mihawk yet? (I know you're practicing)  
- Avatarjk137, In The Minority Of Question Askers For This Fic Because He Is A He (And Creator Of Long Titles For People)_

**Dear Avatarjk137, In The Minority OF BLAH BLAH YEAH,**

**I respect Luffy's fighting styles, even though he's a complete idiot...Johnny and Yosaku are pretty helpful, I guess. Chopper thinks the sky is falling every ten minutes! And yes, like at the end of One Piece movie 7, I can reliably slice things without touching them.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Green-Haired Swordsman, _

I, Beelzebub, the King of Heck, wixh to know why you have taken many wounds that would kill an average man and not DIE? I want your soul already!

**Dear Beelebub, the King of Heck,**

**O.o...**

**...It's...Anime...?**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro, _

I'm sorry did I hit a senstive subject? --;; But you didn't quite answer my questions, well nevermind.3

Have a nice day!,  
BadLuckCat

**Dear BadLuckCat,**

**Meh, no hard feelings, I dont even know you. Anyway, I know where my parents are. Ill tell you, if you tell me. But you're not going to so Im not going to.**

**

* * *

**poor zoro-kun  
is your hair soft? pats Zoro's head  
what is the name of you hometown?  
would you ever leave luffy's crew and join another?  
YOU'RE COOL! (randomness strikes again)  
P.S. I hate you ero-cook hides behind zoro and luffy from the rabid ero-cook's fangirls 

---LazyxDreamer

**Dear LazyxDreamer,**

**I DONT CARE IF MY HAIR IS SOFT!**

**I DONT REMEMBER THE NAME OF MY HOMETOWN!**

**I WOULD NEVER JOIN ANOTHER CREW.**

**I KNOW IM COOL!**

**PS: I HATE SANJI TOO!**

**(HS: THE HELL ARE YOU YELLING FOR??)**

**I DONT KNOW! THE CAPSLOCK IS BUSTED!**

**(HS: THEN FIX IT DODO BRID!)**

**GRAH! -fiddle fiddle-**

**There! I got it!**

**(HS: SWEET!)**

**You can take it off now.**

**(HS: I KNOW BUT IM NOT GONNA CUZ IMA A CRAZEH B-TCH!)**

**-sweatdrop-**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Moss-Head, _

Soo! You're super duper glued to your chair then, eh? -grins evily- that's just wonderufull! I could totally paint your hair green right now and you wouldn't be able to stop me!  
Anywho, here's my question!  
What would your reaction be if you read a story where you were married to one of your fangirls (named Chey :D) and had a kid named Rori?

--Skie-Chan!

**Dear Skie-Chan/SkieLOON,**

**...What's the point in painting my hair green?!**

**A kid?? When the hell did that happen? Im still a--**

**/Mugiwara pirates stifle laughs**

**MOVING ON.**

**

* * *

**Dear Zoro, 

Did you know that your name is the spanish word for fox?  
I would love to know, what do you think is cooler? Watching a car/ship crash, or seeing an explosion?  
One last question, would you rather be able to breath underwater or talk to animals?

H.D.

**Dear H.D./Hylian dragoness,**

**Actually "Zorro" with _two_ R's is spanish from the word fox.**

**And a car/ship crashing is better because you see something crash and if you're lucky, the whole think with explode!**

**I'd rather have _Luffy_ breathe unwater. He's drowned himself more times than I can count.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro-sama:  
Hi! it is me (who else?) again! haha just joking thank you very much for answering my two question but I have another one (yeah, yeah I know I am very curious) Zoro I know you get all pissed off when somebody ask you things like: "Do you like Kuina?" "are you gay?" or stuff like that but I wanted to ask you what type of girl you like? hahaha I just want to know you dont have to mention names and Oh! by the way why do you wear a waistband? or I dont know how it is called... why do you use it (I dont think you want to get thinner...) I kindly appreciate you answer my questions I hope you answer me soon! _

sincerely yours;  
Lonely Musician

P.D... one of your swords I think that is the cursed one... it really existed? I mean in my world...ask hogwartshinobi if you dont understand... keep trainig hard w

**Dear lonely musician,**

**I think the ones that dont get in my way and are reasonable/understandable.**

**(HS: Che. Rather have you be gay -.-)**

**ANYWAY, my waistband is called a hamarki, and I dont know why I wear it. Why is it that when we get in fights, we cut to the next scene and our clothes are fixed again?? Basic cartoon knowledge.**

**

* * *

**

_Hey Zoro!  
I think you're really cool (3 fave character) but my heart belongs to Sanji-kun. I hate it that people pair you off with Sanji. I think that you and Tashigi make a good couple. Oh yeah question. If in an alternate universe you and Tashigi were not enimies how do you think you would realate with her ei. Best friends, more than friends or just aquintences?  
Thats all for now!  
Cyas  
Animegal9215_**Dear Animegal9215,**

**I think we would be friends.**

**

* * *

**Zoro smirked. Ha. Last review. Now he could have a break for awhile so that stupid girl would leave him alone! Zoro was about to exit the page when one more review popped up. He sighed, copied and pasted it on, and typed 

**Dear Never.Too.Far.Away, I---**

"Hm? Nani??"

Zoro squinted at the screen. The review was in another language! How was he suppose to answer that?!

"Oi, Kelly! I can't answer this one!"

Kelly walked into the kitchen with a frown, "Look, I dont care if it's a yaoi question just answer it!"

"Not that baka, it's in some weird text."

Kelly leaned over and looked at the screen, "Hm. It's in french. I think I can make it out...This one's for HogwartShinobi...Blah blah love hate...Do you lov-" Kelly's face flushed. 'N-n-n-n-nani?!' She quickly exited the page.

"Oi! What was that for, you didnt answer it! What'd it say?!"

"It's a...NOTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW AHO!!!" She squealed, fleeing the room.

The bushido shrugged, closing the laptop and leaving the room. 'Hn. Wonder what it said...'

----

**Translation??**

_This question is for HogwartShinobi: Why you always pick on Zoro? Ive heard somewhere that the people that when someone like someone they mask it often by showing the opposed emotion, hate. Do you love him and just not saying it or something? _

_---Never.Too.Far.Away...

* * *

_

To whom ever that wrote that, arigato! gave meh an awesome idea. So technically I can actually classify this as a half story too XD 


	11. 10th Edition

_I'm unsure if this has been asked but... What would you do for a Klondike Bar?_

_---Emma Iveli_

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

**...Kill Kelly.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro, _

_What is your green trousers made of (material i mean) cause you been using it since the beginning of One Piece and never once changed it. And it's not worn out even though you've walk through fire, snowstorm, avalanche, dessert and god knows more. And by the way, do you wash your own clothes?_

_--luxiefer_

**Dear Luxiefer,**

**My trousers are made of leather. Cant beat that I guess. And I do in fact periodically change. They just don't show it. And I know for a fact that if they did, I would have more squealing fangirls then I have now...Anyway, yeah, I was my own clothes.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro _

_I'm glad you think I'm polite. So I have another question. What is the main perpose of the sword in your mouth? I also have another question. Why does Sanji call you marimo when that's a national treasure that lives in the SEA when he's a SEA cook. I know it's because your hair is a lovely shade of green but it just doesn't seem that insulting. Sorry if I'm not making much sense. Thank you very much for reading._

_-Murdoca_

**Dear Murdoca,**

**Well, I wouldn't be using the Santouryo no jutsu(Three sword technique) if I didn't have three swords, would I? It's not like I can shove it up my ass -.- And Marimo doesn't seem insulting? It's also a type of mold... **

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro, _

Will you do us all a favor and dye Sanji's hair hot pink. God he's annoying! I HATE THEM DAMN ZOSAN PAIRINGS! When will people learn Sanjis gay and you AREN'T!? anyway, I love swords as much as the next girl, so I'm slowly learning three sword style, how can I improve with noones help, but yours

_---Naruto4eva_

**Dear Naruto4eva,**

**I know HS knows people that knows people that will do it. But I won't, I'd end up getting in a fight and a bonk on the head for Nami. And for three swords style...Just...Keep trying...**

_

* * *

_

_dear zoro, _

Do you hate Nami and Robin? because you never look happy in front of them.

_---videl eyes_

**I dont hate them. I LOATHE them with a PASSION!!!! One's a bitch and the other's not trustworthy...**

_

* * *

_

_Zoro,have you ever been nice to somebody??  
I mean like you talk to someone calmly without your  
brows frowned,without scowling or growling,without using  
you're sarcastic ways of talking and all that.Like have you  
EVER talk to someone smiling and without a trace of annoyance or  
anger?? _

I'm wondering..

_---motoko aoyama_

**Yes. Sometimes when I talk to Luffy. SOMETIMES. And that does NOT mean ZOLU you damn fangirls.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro,  
Another question for you. What do you honestly think of the majority of Fanfic writers. Do you think there are too many ZoSan writers? _

_P.S. there are lots of those people out there. I have a club that speaks out against it. Fight ing does not equal love!_

_-ocean-view-luffy (p.s. my friend wants to hook up with you)_

**I have nothing against them. They're intitled to they're own literature pieces. But SOME of them do in fact cross the line...**

_

* * *

_

_Dear my sweet Marmio-kun!! _

_HS-WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO TO BREAK HIM OUT?!?!??!! If there is anything i could do to get poor STRAIT Marmio-kun out of your yaoi clutches PLEASE TELL ME!_

_Marmio- Sorry, jut had to get that off my shoulders...But if you know of anyway i can get you out of there, tell me!_

_And yes, I know my intrest in men is amazing(i would say im almost as bad as Sanji accept im no pervert) but at least im not GAY(cough)HS(cough)...sorry something in my throat, lol._

_Anyway, my question... Why do you think Luffy is so lucky?  
Do you think he was just born with luck? or do you think its like a lucky hat or pair of socks? accept...Luffy doesn't wear socks...lol!_

_-iLUVu/Lilygirl33  
Ps- Sanji-kun! If you're there, plz plz plz help Marmio-kun escape! I'll...do ANYTHING, you name it I'll do it, but plz plz plz just help him escape!!Thanks!!(blows kiss)...(glares at HS)...(hides behing Luffy & Ace)_

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**(HS: Hn. Just...Keep trying :3 ...HEY! IM NOT GAY! AND EVEN IF I WAS THE CORRECT TERM WOULD BE LESBIAN! GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT WOMAN!)**

**...I think 50 percent of it's luck, 40 percent skill and 10 percent the fact that the main character always you know. Wins. _Unless_ losing is apart of the plot line in which...DO YOU EVEN DARE BRING UP MIHAWK!**

_

* * *

_

_awesome advice column please update soon:3 _

_Dear Zoro-san,  
I once read that in point fighting strength and stamina are no match for speed and guile is that true?_

_-nekosaru:3_

**Dear Nekosaru,**

**I think they're a pretty good match. Because one or the other will counter itself into the opposite which will just make it an even tie breaking fight.**

**Meh.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro, _

_Huh!? Oo;; Anyways...how am I suppose to know!? Okey time for the real question! I've been dealing with this boy at my school who has been a compete pervert to me, and I was wondering if you could have a little "talk" with him with your swords?_

_Have a nice day,  
BadLuckCat_

**Dear BadLuckCat,**

**I don't "do" lessons with perverted guys.**

**(HS: That sounded SO wrong, even on MY standards...)**

**.../Roronoa Zoro re-reads sentence**

**...O.o**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Moss-Head-Chan, _

_Skie here, I just wanted to let you know that I um...'by mistake' dropped a piece of gum from the crow's nest and it kinda sorta fell in your hair while you were takin' a nap against the mast. Here's my question...Are you angry that it's still there? -nervous smile-_

_--Skie-Chan_

**Dear Skie-chan,**

**THAT WAS YOU?! IMA KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE PEST! WHY I--**

**/HS retraints Roronoa Zoro from killing Skie-Chan **

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro-san,  
1.Are you caught up with technology?  
2.If so,what's your favorite futuristic thing?  
That's all for now. Sayonara! _

And don't put this text on the story,but I have an idea. Why not try and blackmail Zoro with a picture of something he did? Just an idea.

_---Anime-Lover-2112_

**1. Not all of it. **

**2. So far my favorite is the microwave. For popcorn. I like popcorn.**

_

* * *

_

_here's my questions for zoro _

_How does fighting with a sword in your mouth work? I don't understand your fighting style  
Is it true that you and Nami had a one night fling? I got pictures  
Why do all fangirls think that all attractive males in anime are gay? (I hate yaoi so don't worry about those questions from me)  
Is it true that you accidentally cut off part of Usopp's nose when he was bugging you?  
Are you an immortal from highlander?_

_signed SaiyanWarrior200_

**Dear SaiyanWarrior200,**

**It's a compliacted fighting technique.**

**THOSE PICTURES _MUST_ BE PHOTOSHOPPED! IMA CARTOON! YOU CAN DO THAT!**

**Im sure not all fangirls do. But a majority of them, yes. (Thank you for not think Im gay)**

**No O.o**

**Im no immortal.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro _

_Yes...me again, I question you alot huh? question for you now! When you were fighting Kaku did you have any other motive for trying to defeat him then to just get his key?  
-Animefreak567/snowymountain56_

**Dear Animefreak567/snowymountain56,**

**No. I just wanted the key.**

_

* * *

_

_HI, Zoro-sama! Hehe, be lucky my last question wasn't seen. Oh well, I gots..TWO NOW! YAY!  
1) Did Luffy tell u I'm his new musician!? Awesome, huh? Me and Tasha are da new Straw Hats!  
2) Do you think of Sanji like a brother or a best friend that u really don't get along with sometimes? _

For Usopp:  
Hey Usopp -blush- Erm...u know you're cool, right? Very cool. I like your goggles too. And your nose. And hair. DAMMIT, you're just SEXY, OK!?!?! -kisses him and runs-

See ya next time Zoro-sama! -waves and throws a rock at his head-

_---ChainOfDreams_

**1. We got new crew members? Was I asleep?? When did this happen?!**

**2. I think of him as a...Really annoying little cousin that bugs you every minute of everyday at those weddings, ne?**

**Usopp: ...**

**(Zoro/HS: Usopp?)**

**(HS: Ne...I think your sexeh too. Psh I think practically ALL the guys on One Piece are hot.)**

_

* * *

_

_Ok... this is gonna be short cuz I gotta go to school soon... frick...  
Anyway-  
Zoro-  
If Luffy was desperatly ill and Hawkeye (Skie Chey and I accadently call him HawtGuy) was right there chanlenging you, what would you do? Would you turn him down to save your bestest friend? Or challeng him and leave Luffy?  
UP's own psycho in a prision (NHS)  
Love from, LaCoeurdelaMer!_

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**Im getting the feeling that for some strange reason. Ill save Luffy.**

_

* * *

_

_Thanks! You answered! And quickly! _

_Dear Zoro, King of Santoryu (Assumed)  
I write my own Ask fic. The difference is, my characters (this is in the X-Men Evolution fandom) read and answer mail of their own free will. Would you swear to continue answering questions if you could be allowed to move around freely while doing it? Also, did you know that Sanji WAS Mr. Prince? Me and my sister were totally caught off guard...  
Avatarjk137, King Of Titles (This Week)_

**Dear Avatarjk137,**

**I guess I would do it. It helps with my debt without having to do anything severly badly...**

**And yeah, I know it was Sanji. I live with the baka, remember?**

_

* * *

_

_yo! DON'T SHOUT AT ME NEXT TIME! AHO! DAMMIT NOW MY CAPSLOCK BUTTON IS JAMMED. SO I WILL BE SHOUTING!  
MATTE! STUGGLES WITH BUTTON A BIT five minutes later yes! i am the victor!  
Ahem, forget about that...  
hogwart-san, so you really like Zoro? pouts  
Zoro, your sexy! (that was probably a rare time, i really don't like saying all those words... but it is an exception!)  
zoro can you do a cartwheel?  
are you flexible?  
that's it ja ne!_

_---LazyxDreamer_

**Dear LazyxDreamer,**

**What does she mean "So you really like Zoro?" ...**

**(HS: Mah! N-N-N-N-Nani?! Crazy fangirls -.-')**

**Alright then...Yeah I can do a cartwheel, specify flexible and ja ne to you too.**

_

* * *

Dear Marimo, _

_Heheheheh... Now -I- get to bug you! HAHAHAHAHA! To all you ZoSan and ZoLu fans, Mr. Moss-head isn't gay. Sorry to disapoint. ANYWAY. My question is: is your hair naturally mossy-green? Seriously, now. It's been a question I've had since I first saw you._

_--The Great Abbie-sama!_

**Dear Abbie-sama,**

**Yes. My hair is like this naturally. Geeze if it's not a gay question it's a hair question -.-**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zora, whoops! I mean Zoro. _

_I just realized that one of my questions slipped through the cracks. I think it was when luffy anwered a few.  
How do you deal with fangirls?_

_I have a new one as well, If you had the oppertunity to go through any part of your life over again and change something, what would you do? Keeping in mind it may alter your life with the crew. Like putting you on the opposite side of the law or something._

_Hylian dragoness, know to you as Amaya._

**Dear Hylian dragoness,**

**How do I deal with fangirls?? Che. Yell and run like the wind. **

**I'd go back and kick Mihawk's ass.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro-kun _

I wasn't Stalking you Zoro-kun I Just watched that ep and when i saw all those guys i wanted to make sure you wearn't one of them though since you are who you are i don't think you's fall over by the sight of a naked woman... so thankies now... have you ever thought of growing your hair out and dying it black i thought it look pretty cool or keep it green and short its your hair so it's your choice

Tasha...

_Ps you rocketh!_

**Dear Tasha,**

**Never thought of that. Too much of a hastle and messy. I just want to eat, sleep and fight. No time for hair care. **

_

* * *

_

_To Zoro, _

_Ha! I knew it! I bet that made you think! No bald guys! But i had to know cause I was thinking about it the other day...  
Well anyway next question!  
It's about Sanji. Do you find his...um...flirtatious behaviour disturbing? Who do you feel sorry for? Sanji, for being born that way...or Nami, for having to put up with it. Or yourself, for being around such a guy - but 'yourself' can't be the answer.  
Oh! And people who pair you up with him...shudders...something is really, really wrong!!_

_Oni Giri Slash_

**Dear Oni Giri SLash,**

**EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM IS DISTURBING. I feel sorry for Nami more though, actually. And for those of you that pair me up with him...Hate you. Remember that. I Hate you.**

_

* * *

_

_Rum Lover,  
First off, sorry I couldn't ask a question last time. Did you miss me? I bet ya you did. You try beating you own record in swimming at a competition! I bet you can't drop 8 seconds on your 100 meter butterfly! Hah 1 minute 36 seconds! I bet i can swim faster than you! Hahahah!  
calms down Okay well my question is when did you get your haramaki? I know that you did not have when you met johnny and yosaku. It was that one filler episode where they had a recap of your past. If you don't remeber then HogwartShinobi is going to have to show you on youtube. And HS if you haven't seen it, I think it's between the rainbow mist arc, right after the alabasta one. I'll have to find you the number if you don't know. Thank you!  
--Hachiko-Chan_

**Dear Sanji-kunZoro-San,**

**...On the swimming thing...I have no idea what your talking about. Ive had it for along time. Few months before I got caught and Luffy sprung me out. And I think that recap was just a dream. Or was it? I dont remember. Im taking a nap. Bye.**

_

* * *

_

I just have to say this...

DAMN!

lol your questions alone were 1644 words?! You must really love buggin Zoro -.-


	12. 11th Edition

_Dear Zoro,_

_Why do people like gay parings? I find them very -cough- distrubing. Have you ever met a gay, lesbain, etc. before? I have this teacher at my school and she is lesbain... That's really scary. Akatusuki is a group of S rank (very powerful, like the best) missing ninjas. Mihawk would have a hard time. Their speed, everything is inhuman... Kinda of like Luffy. . Do you know where I can find some swords in California? I want a ice/water/snow one. What does rum taste like?_

_---Akizakura_

**Dear Akizakura,**

**Bon Clay's gay. It even ryhme's. Kellt actually purchased a sword in LA for 30 dollars. It's pretty good. Rum tastes like beer with a higher percentage of achohol.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Grog-drinken seaweed head/ Zoro-kun,_

_Eh black hair thought it would look cool and YOU DO NOT LOok good IN PINK HAIR! I used paint and boy did it look creapy! If skie ever does that I'm a gonna kill her! So... Do you wan t help ecaspeing? (XP I spelled it wrong) I'll help... FOR A PRICE! wait for it... I want tickets to a Green Day concert along with a backstage pass so i can meet my idol BILLIE JOE! SQUE! Yeah I'm a bigger fangirl of the guy thats not pixels and ink... but you still awesome... but Billie Joes real... and I can hug him... HEHEHEHEHE!_

_---Tasha_

**Dear Tasha,**

**(HS: DONT WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT XD)**

**Too late for that. And I guess I'll be breaking myself out because I don't have any tickets.**

_

* * *

_

_Yeah,I love bugging you,Zoro...  
Any who,here's my questions.._

_1.What's the point of wearing a bandana when you fight?  
2.'It breaks your heart to see that the one you love is happy with  
someone else,but it's more painfull to know that the one you love is  
unhappy with you' What can you say about this??  
3.Don't you think your parents are worried about you that you dissapear  
instantly and that you became a pirate?  
4.Whatcha' goina' do when you're stranded in a damn island.. alone?  
AND  
5.Damn! Are you real? Where are you now?_

_---motoko aoyama_

**Dear Motoko Aoyama,**

**1. Makes me look cool.**

**2. Sucks for you.**

**3. I dont have any on-screen parents. So...I dont know.**

**4. Do what I did last time. Wander around till something happens.**

**5. Cuorse Im real! Im on deck!**

_

* * *

dear zoro-san,  
A friend of mine once said that fg 4kids changed Paulie-san's name into Thad. Argh they always ruin the good anime! no blood no cursing and the voices don't get me started on that. curse them curse them! they taint the anime, with vile evil wicked claws of ... oh um sorry getting off topic. I was wondering that if u could somehow escape HS-san or if she could allow u to have some free time and if 4kids had no control whatsoever could u go over there and murder/torture them slowly until they have nightmares about it and wake up screaming into the dead of night praying that even the deadliest bit of torture be applied instead of going on living or wishing just to end it permanently. thank u if u can and if u can't than oh well. _

_---Nekosaru:3_

**Dear Nekosaru:3,**

**...You're...Evil...**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro-san,_

_You have explained your feelings about Kuina, Tashigi, Robin, and Nami. But how do you feel about Vivi?_

_-Mr. Thumbsup_

**Dear Mr. Thumbsup,**

**I think she's the most sane one. Aside from apologizing all the time, she's desent.**

_

* * *

SaiyanWarrior200 here again with a couple more questions_

_If you were in a fight against overwhelming odds and you could only have crewmember to fight with you, who would you pick as a teammate to watch your back? Or someone else from a different show who would you pick_

_For my highlander question are you sure? You've lost enough blood to keep the red cross happy for years and your still breathing, that's not human. The only way a highlander dies is if his head gets chopped off._

_and by the way about those pictures I got them from johnny and yosaku ask them about it_

_---SaiyamWarrior200_

**Dear SaiyanWarrior200,**

**Im sure, and Im not gonna check by cutting my head off. Nice try though.**

**Ill talk to those two later...**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,  
Yes...it's me again. hello x3  
1. If you were an animal what would you be? Oda said that you were most like a shark  
2. I think someone may have asked this before...but what do you think about the 4Kids Version of One Piece?  
3. If you meet Oda what would you say?  
-Snowymountians56  
PS: HS, we are bugging him...we are SPAMMING him. so he gets paid. _

**Dear snowymountain56,**

**1. Shark, huh? I guess that would be correct. They're agressive and strong...**

**2. I _HATE_ IT!**

**3. Um...Thanks?**

**PS: Good idea!**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro_

_You didn't really get it did you?_

_Have a nice day,  
BadLuckCat_

**Dear BadLuckCat,**

**Meh, I didn't care either...**

_

* * *

_

_Ah Kay! Thanks for answering my question! You're such a good friend to Luffy:D_

_Zoro-  
Yah... who are the top 5 people that you seriously hate? Am I one of them? I probably am cuz I gave Skie that piece of gum that's in your hair (gets into a running stance). Ya... who would be the top person on your list? Would it be Sanji or Kelly or Hawkeye? Or would it be a tie between Skie and I? Is Nami on there? Hum..._

_Till next time my... (tries to think of something insulting but can't) Whatev-  
-LaCoeurdelaMer-  
PS: Tell Sanji I love him!_

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**Top 5? Here:**

**-Hawkeye Mihawk**

**-Kelly**

**-Nami**

**-Skie**

**-And every yaoi lover on the planet.**

**PS: No.**

_

* * *

sweatdrops U sleep to much Zoro-sama. And er...I kinda dared Sanji to pt some PEP pills in your food(I wasn't being serious!!) and he kinda...actually did it! I was just kidding around! -hides behind MiHawk-  
N E way! Question TIME:  
1) aFTER THE WHOLE 'CP9' thing, do you find Robin trustworthy?  
2) This is a fact...Usopp is sexier than YOU!_

_---ChainofDreams AKA KREE!_

**Dear ChainofDreams,**

**1) I never really thought she was since the beginning.**

**2) This is a fact...I dont care!**

_

* * *

Konnichiwa, Marimo-san, HS-san  
heeheehee...  
HS-san, don't worry i like him too, he's my favorite character...  
Zoro-san, what would you do if i dye your haramaki pink? (but i'm not going to, don't worry)  
can you cook well or do you just not have the skill (mainly do you suck at it?)  
is ero-cook there? if he is, tell him that LazyxDreamer hates him so much!  
ja ne!_

_LzayxDreamer_

**Dear LazycDreamer,**

**What does she mean like? Who? What Character?**

**(HS: Nani?! I dunno what she's talking about...)**

_

* * *

BOOM! Like, totally! BOOM! Guess what! I'm not Skie! I'm a frickin' imposter! That's right! What are you going to do about it?! That's right! Nothing! I'm taking the place of Skie because I can. She's probobly going to ask you a questin also...clueless to the fact that she's being impostered until it's too late and she reads this...  
But I don't dislike Skie, so...I'm not being spiteful to /her/. I'm being spiteful to /you/. You're a freaking weakling! You have the all the power of a mystical doylie. That's how strong you are._

_But, I like Kelly, so I'm not going to be rude to her, -smiles- so, Kelly, I have a questin for you! I don't like Zoro, so I want to ignore him.  
My question: Dear Kelly, If you had to pick between the two authors Stephan King, and J.K. Rowling, who would you want to meet the most?_

_Now that I think about it, I guess I should ask Zoro a question...since this is a Zoro editorial...  
My question for you, you idiot: Why are you so freaking stupid?_

_Well see you Kelly! -waves-  
Go jump off a cliff, Roranoa Zoro._

_--Skie-Chan imposter_

**Dear Skie-Chan...Imposter,**

**(HS: I like Stepfan King, but Im not too into mystery and horror so...J.K. Rowling it is!)**

**...You're nice...**

_

* * *

Hello i wanted to ask Zoro a question and here it is!  
Dear Zoro-kun  
HI! Any way when Luffy becomes pirate king he will need a queen and he can't deside who to be his queen so he asks you. Who would you think would be a good pirate queen?  
P.S.- She has to be some one Luffy knows and trusts alot.  
P.S.S.- I HATE YOU SANJI! AND ZORO YOU ROCK!  
(HS- good job on this and let Zoro-kun go please)  
LuNa4starkeeper _

**Dear LuNa4starkeeper,**

**I know what _you_ want me to say...So I wont answer.**

**PS- ...**

**PSS- Thanks.**

**(HS: ...Nah!)**

_

* * *

_

_Dear My Sweet Marmio-kun!_

_HS- Whatever!(and gay...lez...same difference)_

_Marmio-kun, I've kinda given up on trying to get you out of there...sorry, just break yourself out again. Or, ya know how every once in a while Usopp or Luffy show up? Get them to help._

_My question: Even after you get enough money to pay Nami back, will HS let you go? Do you like chocolete? And, do you like hugs?_

_-iLUVu/Lilygirl33  
PS- Your not gay._

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**(HS: Yes, I will, but dont think his debt is small...)**

**I HATE INTEREST! Yeah I like chocolate. But no, I do not like hugs.**

_

* * *

Wow, this is cool hey evil child was here. Zolo i got a good idea on how to get kris(ChainofDreams) back (I'm evil too) Give her a gift box full of rats. they freak her out. lol._

_---SpiderRider14_

**Dear SpiderRider14,**

**I would, but Sanji would probably deprive me of my deals so, no.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,_

_Okay, I'm gonna ask some of the big questions. So get ready._

_How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?_

_How much wood would a wodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?_

_Why is it that Donald Duck never wears pants but when he comes out of the shower he has a towel wrapped around his waist?_

_Just how much blood can you lose and still stay alive? Same goes with the reast of the action driven anime characters._

_I hope those get you thinking. Thank you for answering the previous ones._

_Amaya. The Hylian Dragoness._

**Dear Hylian Dragoness,**

**Well, a person's mouth, size and time they have make it indesicive unless you test everyone in the world. But I would say higher than 0 and lower then 1000.**

**Depends, what kind of wood, how big the woodchuck and what kind of woodchucker in the first place.**

**Because it makes sense.**

**More than humanly possible. We're anime, what do you expect?**

_

* * *

Dear Marimo,_

_Luckily for you, I don't ask... gay-questions...  
Anyway, just to bug you, my question is: Why is the sky blue? Go on, go on. I'm doing this to annoy you._

_--The Great Abbie-sama!_

**Dear Abbie-sama,**

**The sky is blue because the sun reflects whit light, which is a mixture of all the colors of the rainbow red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet (yes there are actually seven colors). And since blue is most visible to the eye, it reflect to the sky, making it appear blue. **

**Owned.**

_

* * *

Marimo Boy,  
Jeez your response was short and dull. You seem tired. I think you're dying out on me, seriously. You should let Sanji take over for now. That'd be fun. You can go take a nap, but after this question. How did you start hating Sanji? I mean sure he's arrogant, but so are you. You can't possibly hate him for being a pervert either, all men are like that (even you at times). Now you will have to excuse me because i have to go beat up my sister for playing that damn guitar of hers.  
--Hachiko-chan_

**Dear Hachiko-chan,**

**I hate him because he always has an adittude and treats the opposite sex like a prize. FEMALES ARE EQUAL TO MALES IF THEY WANT TO BE. TREATING THEM LIKE THE MOST PERFECT THING ON EARTH IS POINTLESS. **

**...Yeah.**

_

* * *

_

_Roronoa-san!_

_I have a question for you!_

_I fell in love with you (don't take that the wrong way) when you where first introduced after saving Rika (she's so cute!!). Anyway, i was wondering (and if this is a spoiler, i'm very sorry!!) when you ran into Coby and Helmeppo later on the Grand Line, did you think about her?_

_Yeah for Onigiri!_

_Tomeka_

**Dear Tomeka,**

**I think so. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be a Mugiwara.**

_

* * *

I have a question for Zolo-san!  
Um...if you could, which member of the crew would you kill and why?  
(Such a sucky question but I really want to know!)_

_---catchan2006_

**Nami...**

**/someone is glaring at Roronoa Zoro.**

**Shit...**

_

* * *

_

Huzzah! Another chappie accomplished!


	13. 12th Edition

_Zoro,  
Sorry i ran out of names to call you. I think I'm going brain dead today, i can't even update my own fanfic. Heh yah well nice reply for my last question, very creepy. You scared me there. I have absolutely no energy to bug you today cause I'm tired. Well my question is did you notice that you and sanji have the largest foreheads in the crew. Do you think that's just oda's style or maybe cause you guys are always glaring at something? Maybe I'm just crazy and tired. Well I'm going follow the advice I gave you last time and take a nap. Maybe update my fanfiction if I get bugged enough...Z  
---Hachiko-Chan_

**Dear Hachiko-Chan,**

**We do?! I never noticed my forehead was big... I am NOT trying to compinsating anything!**

**...I think it's Oda's style...**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro-kun, _

_If you don't have any tickets then... I"m HELPING KELLY KEEP YOU THERE! (puts reenforced chains around you and chair along with 3 pad locks and dynamite restricted to it so if you escape u blow up)HEHEHEHEHEHE raspberry now go on ebay and... GET ME TICKETS! holds up frying pan (no remeber i i ahte sanji but would do this to him... so understand how much i love green day) flames in eyes mutters something about billie joe and green day_

_---Hell's True Gift_

**Dear Hell's True Gift,**

**...Um. Dont...Kill me??**

_

* * *

Might as well ask another question:  
If you could, I dunno, trade that sword of yours that was recently broken (If it was still in one piece) with another anime character, whose sword would you want?  
(In other words, who from another anime has a sword that interests you more than any other sword?) _

_---nld200xy_

**Dear nld200xy,**

**I good sturdy one :)**

_

* * *

here's my final three questions:  
1. What is your name?  
2. What is your quest?  
3. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? _

_---SaiyanWarrior200_

**Dear SaiyanWarrior200,**

**1. Roronoa Zoro**

**2. To defeat Mihawk**

**3. What species, what wingspand and what frecency?**

_

* * *

Ok- question for Zoro:  
One of the kids in my class called you a sissy boy. And i punched his lights out. (true story) I would punch out a Sanji fan I know- but she's my best friend's sister. What should I do? _

_P.S. my best friend still wants to hook up w/ you._

_---ocean-view-Luffy_

**Dear ocean-view-Luffy,**

**Well if she's your best friends sister, you should. Although you might be doing her a favor.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro-san,  
Is that a yes or a no to my question/request from the last time? Have u and the crew ever met the sanzo ikkou from saiyuki/saiyuki reload? If u did, what did u guys think of them? comments?  
-nekosaru:3  
PS: Thanks for the compliment from last time, i guess. To HS-san/Zoro-san: Awesome Ask Zoro/ advice column! Even though you're being held here against your will I just wanted to say/type that. _

_---nekosaru:3_

**Dear nekosaru:3,**

**We've never met them and never will because I seen the word sanzo...(SanZo)**

**PS: **

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,  
What would you do if your Wado was stolen-lost?  
How come you never change your clothes? (or other characters for that matter) _

_----bluerose_

**Dear bluerose,**

**Do what did last time. Freak out and chase after who ever the hell stole-took it.**

_

* * *

Dear Spearmint-Scalp-(In-The-Nicest-Way-Possible),  
1. I think Sanji's birthday is coming up. Do you think he'd appreciate black titanium plates for his shoes to block swords? (If he tries them against you, sorry)  
2. Do you admire the fact that Usopp's still alive despite all the crew's adventures and battles where he has no super-strength, no kung-fu or unnatural durability, no Devil Fruit powers, not even common sense?  
3. Have you ever fought the undead?  
4. Would you like some skeletons, zombies, ghouls, or vampiric rock stars to fight for free or at reduced cost?  
You still rock! That time you used Streaming Wolf Swords against Hachi... that was really impressive!  
From You-Know-That-Guy,-The-One-With-Really-Long-Titles _

_---avtarjk137_

**Dear avatarjk137,**

**1. Sure.**

**2. I suppose. I never really noticed till now.**

**3. No. **

**4. Sure.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Marimo,_

_...Wait, what? You're smart, Moss-head!? That's not fair! Stupid marimo... Hey, if I'm doing this to annoy -YOU-, why do -I- feel annoyed!?_

_My question is: What would you do if you were magically turned into a girl? HA! Can't answer that one with such intelligence, can you- Zora... Zoriana?_

_--Abbie-sama_

**Dear Abbie-sama,**

**Freak out. Then at one point give up and say, "Heeeey, I can look at myself naked..."**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,_

_And I don't care either!_

_Wants some pie?X3_

_Have a nice day,  
BadLuckCat_

**Dear BadLuckCat, **

**I like pie. It's nice. Sure, Ill have some.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,  
Im one of the few people who actually support your release.And is also sane oO.Well,I just wanted to ask some questions.Then,I have a surprise for you._

_1.What exactly would you do to get out of your little question prison?  
2.How much do you hate Sanji?  
3.If you could have any type of pet what would it be?  
4.What weapon would you use if you didnt have swords?  
5.You have 3 wishes,what do you wish for?_

_Now for your surprise!Luffy and the rest of the crew are coming to rescue you!oOIm not so sure if theyll be able to get past HogwartShinobi though...Good Luck!_

_Your Loving FanGirl,  
Patchy-Cat!_

**Dear Patchy-Cat,**

**1. Kill Kelly.**

**2. From here to the freaking MOON.**

**3. A ferocious dog that I could sick on Sanji.**

**4. My fists.**

**5. To get out of here, to defeat Mihwak aaaaaand...To kill Kelly.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,_

_What does Zoro mean? Have you fought any ninjas before? did you lose oh and thanks for where to get swords but LA is 6 to 7 hours away from my house TT. kick sanji for me when he's a pervert. k, i think your cool but way too serious._

_Akizakura_

**Dear Akizakura,**

**It means...My name. Yes I've fought ninjas and won. Ill kick Sanji anytime. **

_

* * *

Dear Zoro nii-chan_

_Wow, so you have swords on your underwear, that's absolutely adorable… well at least I think its better then hearts. (You probably hate me for asking that)_

_Anyway how are you today? I'm fine. The weather is nice where I am, how is the weather where you are? Can you touch your nose with your tongue? I know I cant'. What do you think about Tai chi?_

_Mh that was it for now,_

_Greetz Marcha-Chwan_

_Ps. Sanji, you are such a dork ( don't worry I don't hate dorks)._

_---Marcha-chwan_

**Dear Maracha-chwan,**

**How am I today? Someone's actually asked that?! Oh well, aside from be held here against my will...Im good. Its partly cloudly with a chance of rain and no, I cant touch my nose with my tounge.**

**I dont like tai chi. Too slow and I'd probably fall asleep.**

_

* * *

Dear Zolo-san,  
I'm sorry if you got into trouble! -bows-  
Um...what do you do if you get attacked by raving fangirls? Do you attack them or run away like most guys do? Has this question even been asked before?  
...  
Sorry if it has!_

_---catchan2006_

**Dear catchan2006,**

**Dress up like Sanji, Spray paint his hair green then run.**

_

* * *

To Zoro,_

_1. Is One Piece in Japan aimed at teenagers or children because it seems to have alot of swearing, blood and violence in which you wouldn't find in a childrens program over here.  
2. Why did it take you so long to beat Cabaji?  
3. How come you cut through steel chains in the Apis arc but when you where in Alabasta you had to re-learn how to cut through steel?_

_---littlepinkangel_

**Dear littlepinkangel,**

**1. -sighs- teens man, teens.**

**2. I was weak and his name was too annoying to pronounce to it took too long.**

**3. Because Im an anime character and it would mess up my plot.**

_

* * *

Damn,boy! You always ALWAYS gives me short  
answers!!  
-ahem!- Ok.. -sigh- .. If you were to choose what  
would you,ofcourse,choose? (choose one,ayt!)_

_a.)Be the best swordsman in the WORLD?  
or  
b.)Live with your nakama forever?_

_P.S.; --) Hell.._

_---motoko aoyama_

**Dear motoko aoyama,**

**If I became the greatest swordsman in the world, that means we found One Piece in which we were done being Nakama and blah blah what the hell do you think?!**

_

* * *

Dear Moss-Head,_

_Whus up with someone impostering me? ...-arogant grin- OMIGOSH IMA SUPER STAR! Yaays!  
Anywho, the question I wanted to ask last chapter, but couldn't get on a computer, was...-ahem- What is your favorite video game? My personal favorite is Legend of Zelda Occarina of Time, mostly because Link's a hottie, and the story line's cool too. SEE? I'm not just ALL about cute boys. The story line plays a big part. Same with graphics..._

_--Skie-CHAAN:D (the real one, I swear!)_

**Dear Skie-Chan,**

**Marvel Street Fighter!**

_

* * *

Ok...  
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL SANJI I LOVE HIM? God... now i'm gonna ask that every time untill you review. HA! Anyway..._

_What is your view on our world? Mainly the USofA. cough Michigan cough Do you think this country is retarded? Cuz that's ok if you do. I think so too. Except all-er- most of the people in Michigan and possibly and other northeastern state._

_TELL SANJI I LOVE HIM! GOD!  
Love from a person who is NOT your fangirl (That's Chuck)  
-LaCoeurdelaMer-_

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**The technology is impressive. But 4Kids makes my views on America AHO-ish.**_

* * *

_

_HI ZORO-KUN! Did u know that the most popular word in my vocabulary is "HI"? Anyway U DO! How can u know who I wanted u to say I bet your lying mostly because I don't know myself or maybe I did but forgot (I have short term memory lose at th worst times sometimes)On with the quetstions!  
1. What comes fist the chicken or the egg?  
2. Is it true that if u cut off a chickens head will it run around for a while?  
And finally!-3.SCREW U SNAJI and Zoro? Do u like chocolate cookies?  
LuNa4starkeeper_

**Dear LuNastarkeeper,**

**1. Chickens because they lay'em.**

**2. Yes. **

_

* * *

Dear Zoro-san_

_When you see old enemies that come back to kill you or defeat you to regain the pride and everything else they lost when you totally smashed them... what do you think of them?_

_Oni Giri Slash  
P.S Don't you think my name's AWESOME!_

**Dear Oni Giri Slash,**

**Stupid for trying because its the anime world and Im always gonna win.**

**PS: it's okay by my standards.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,_

_You know, I was looking at some stuff of your's on the net, (wild by the way) and I notice that you've said that men aren't always better than women. For that, I applaud you._

_Question?  
What kind of teeth stuff do you use? It must take some very strong chompers to not have them wear down, what with all the time you have swords in your mouth. I chew on stuff all the time and my teeth are not the healthiest. (But I'm working on it, I drink a lot of milk)_

_Thanks always! Amaya, H.D._

**Dear Amaya, H.D.,**

**One word...Colgate.**_

* * *

_

_Hey Zoro!  
I would like to take a moment to say thanks to HS for kidnapping Zoro for this column.  
Anyways... my question  
I can't decide this so are you more emo and punk?  
Thanks  
Animegal9215_

**Dear Animegal9215,**

**I'd say punk. Emo is Sasuke's area of expertise.**

_

* * *

Dear Broom head,  
..I don't like or dislike you..awkwardONWARD! TO THE QUESTIONS!  
1.I think Mr. 4 is has more arm strengh than you..calculates..le'see, you use about one ton weights to train...so your absolute limit would be three or four tons...While Mr. 4 is constantly swinging around a bat that is four tons, and can send one ton base balls flying with relative ease...so his absolute limit would be..eight or nine tons_

_2.Party check the umbrella next to the computer labled "Mr. 4"...If you press the hidden trigger, it turns into a buzzsaw..shifty eyes You know what to do...YOU SAW NOTHING!dissapears in a poof of smoke_

_Sincerly,  
Mr. 4  
P.S.-This message will now selfdestru-BOM_

**Dear Mr. 4,**

**1. Yeah...Lets go with that...**

**2.You're out your damn mind -.-**_

* * *

_

Dear My Sweet Marmio-kun!

_HAHAHA...ok in the top 5 hated-ppl list-thing you didn't put Sanji! lol, i thought you DESPISED him! and u said if you could/had to kill some one on the crew you said Nami, again...i thought you HATED Sanji more! lol!(im not saying ur gay & 'like' Sanji, im just proving that i know you guys are good friends deep down!_

_AND do you get annoyed when ppl call you Zolo unstead of Zoro?(Damn 4kids ppl) or call u Marmio or Grass-Head?, just wondering..._

_U dint like hugs? PROVEN FACT: people who recieve at least 5 hugs a day have proved to be happier and more energetic than people that dont! So HA! Can i hug you?_

_-iLUVu/Lilygirl33_

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**I was so could up in the moment I forget. AND YES I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME ZOLO.**

_

* * *

Hey Zolo,_

_Okay, here's why I called you what I did. In the manga, your name is Zolo, but in the anime, its Zoro. Which one is it? In reality, the manga did come first so really it should be Zolo. OH, and you mind if I ask you your race/backround? Because your skin is very butterscottch smooth._

_Hellsing's Servant_

**Dear Hellsing's Servant,**

**In the manga my name is Zoro as well...You did not know? ...I think Im mexican...**

**AND YES I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CALL ME ZOLO.**

**

* * *

**

ZOMFG finally! He's Done. Say I got a question for you guys. Do you read other peoples questions, like the whole thing, or just your own?


	14. 13th Edition

_Dear Zoro_

_I was looking through Shonen Jump and discovered that your name's Zolo in that as well. You can't catch much of a break can ya?  
Why do you think they changed it in the first place? (Other than the fact that 4kids needs to review their cencorship) I mean, Zoro seems fine to me, the only thing I can think of is that it sounds like the name of the spanish character played by Antonio Bandieras. So why the heck would anyone change it?_

_Thanks! Amaya, H.D._

**Dear Amaya H.D.,**

**Well, in the japanese language, the L and the R sound the same. Because if you notice, most people kind of pronounce it Zolro...Meh. Plus they're jerks. Yup. Jerks.**

_

* * *

_

_I do read other people's questions because I like how Zoro reacts... . BTW, I'm in the Cyber Straw Hats too... DeviantArt... heard you joined. If not, then just ignore me! XD_

_To Zoro:  
I'm actually so-called 'you' in my club! It's fun! XD Well, that was pointless. Anyways, now for the real questions!  
1) How do you feel about being constantly paired up with what we call Mary Sues- the annoyingly perfect girls who cry so much it's sickening? I dunno, I see it all over the place and it disgusts me.  
2) I know there are so many to choose from, but other than ZoSan, what would you say is the absolute WEIRDEST pairing you have ever been in, from what your... er... hostess... HogwartShinobi has shown you so far?_

_Yeah, that's basically all I had to ask! XD And yes, my name is SO original._

_---One Piece Fan Girl 001_

**Dear One Piece Fan Girl 001,**

**1) THEY JUST POP OUT OF NOWWHERE! And 90 percent of them fall out of the freaking sky and land on _ME_!**

**2) I have nothing against him, but...Pairing me with Usopp is quite...Strange. And there was a fanfic with me and Mihawk! Hawkeye _freaking_ Mihawk TT3TT**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro-sama:  
Hi! how are you? I hope you are fine I sicerely apologize for not writing for so long, I am sorry! (bows so deeply that accidentally hits her head with the floor) Oww! sorry about that too! Well my question is: I know you sleep alot.. (I do too!) so which have been your weirdest dream? Oh! and other things I wanted to thank you for the sword-tip but still I cant buy myself one! Where I live they are very expensive like $300 dlls or higher oh and i have another question, I now these is bit weird to ask but I would be very thankful if you answer these to me... Do you think I am crazy?  
I thank you very kindly for giving me a little bit of your time and I hope that Hogwart-Shinobi frees you soon!  
Whatever you need you can ask me for it!! See you soon!!_

_Lonely Musician_

**Dear Lonely Musician,**

**I do not dream. I have sleepless dreams. No that doesnt mean I dont have a soul! I just probably sleep so much my brain's run out of ideas...**

**And Yes, I think you're crazy.**

_

* * *

HAHA! I'm loving this. :D_

_And I have a question for Zoro-sama! Actually, two! One from me and one from Sanji-kun:D_

_--_

_Dear, Dear Zoro-chan,_

_Do you ever have those urges to just kill something? Like, right at the moment when they ask you crazy questions? Or how about a sexual attraction to someone?_

_OH! And ... Can I have one of your broken swords? Those things are so awesome.._

_You're so awesome._

_And Sanji has a HUGE crush on you:D_

_Haha. You should see his face right now. It's al red! -wink-_

_-Your Insane Friend,_

_WaterSage093_

_--_

_Dear Shitty-head Marimo,_

_Why the hell do you bother answering these questions?_

_HOW the hell can you answer these questions? You're such a dumbass. ;_

_-looks above- What th- I DON'T LIKE YOU! -blush- You're such a MARIMO!_

_-Sanji_

**Dear WaterSag---**

**What. The. FUCK?!**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro-san,_

_I had a really bad day today, first I ran into the wall and scraped my arm (nothing I can't handle mine you) Then I got into a fight with another girl who tried to beat the shit out of me but I would have won if the teacher hadn't broken us up, Then she (same girl who tried main word here tried to beat me up) started this rumor that she had punched me in the face but that never happened and of course everyone believes the popular kid so everyone was making fun of me, but if thats not enough I got braces today also. So what do I do now? I have few more questions if you don't mind, OK lets see here what is your opinion on fan artists? and If you had wings what would they look like? Thank you for listening to my problems._

_with much love,  
dark-and-deadly  
PS- I am sorry you had to hear all of my problems, I'm just really, really, really pissed right now._

**Dear dark-and-deadly,**

**Question one: Man up ya limey pansy -.-**

**Question two: I can deal with'em.**

**Question three: If I had wings they would be invisible.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,  
I've mentioned it three times. Do you or do you not want to hook up w/ my friend. She's single, never been in a relationship, and loves to kick Sanji ass._

_ocean-view-luffy.  
P.S. could you ask Luffy if he wants to go for a meal some time -my treat-_

_P.SS. This message will self dectruct drastcally 5 seconds after you finish reading. So I suggest that HogwartShiobi shove it down Zoro's pants. Just 4 fun._

**Dear ocean-view-Luffy,**

**I do not want to hook up with anyone.**

_

* * *

What? I don't know that! (SaiyanWarrior goes flying off into distance) AUGGH!_

_---SaiyanWarrior200_

**SaiyanWarrior200,**

**Heh heh. Owned.**

_

* * *

Dear Marimo,_

_...Yeah, uhm... I'm gonna pretend I never heard that.  
Great. I'm sick now. I blame you, moss-head. Anyway, my new question is: Milk chocolate or dark chocolate!?_

_--The Great Abbie-sama!_

**Dear Abbie-sama,**

**I dont care! But if I did it would probably be milk chocolate.**_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro,  
1. What is your favorite nickname/insult for Sanji?  
2. if you could be in a video game which one would you be in?  
3. and when you were fighting Kaku near the end, was it just some projection by your spirit (as Kaku said) or did you reall grow four more arms and two more heads for a breif amount of time?  
4. Have you ever had ramen before?  
A question for the cook!  
Sanji, do you use gell to keep your bangs in place or is it just naturaly like that? what do you think of kitties?  
And to round it off one for Luffy!  
Hey Luffy, what do you think of people for pairing you with your brother? I think it's very very weird...and a little disturbing...  
-Snowymountains56  
Ps: Do the others get paid for answering questions HS? and I read the whole thing so as not to ask the same thing twice. pfft!_

**Dear snowymountain56,**

**1. Kuso-chef.**

**2. Street Fighters.**

**3. O.o I did that? Um...Spirit of Wado :)**

**4. Yes, snowy. Yes I have.**

**Sanji's not here right now, ask back when I care.**

**(HS: PS- Nope, just ZoZo)**

**DONT CALL ME THAT**

**XD**

_

* * *

Dear Champion-Sword-Chewer,  
Skeletons, zombies, and ghosts are free to fight. Vampiric rock stars are tougher (and smarter) opponents, but they're ten dollars per hour. And only Fall Out Boy and Amy Lee of Evanescence are in stock right now. It's still a big price cut compared to my competitors.  
1. Here are some free counterfiet tickets to a Green Day concert (to fool that one rabid fangirl). You're welcome.  
2. You said you were probably Mexican. I heard Mihawk is Spanish, because of the way he dresses, his cross-like sword, and because it increases your natural rivalry. Is that right? (If it is, it's even worse, and yet even funnier that 4Kids gave him a horrible French accent.  
3. Who's the toughest foe you faced besides Mihawk (not counting your current blood-loss circumstances)?  
From Just-An-Innocent-Cameraman-Move-Along  
P.S., HogwartShinobi, do you know a site called VGcats? (the URL is just that name plus dotcom, but It will be deleted if I write it like that) It is a webcomic, and this week's strip is funny and Zoro-centric (talking to Chopper about his latest wound: band-aids heal EVERYTHING). It's very good, I highly recommend you take a look._

_---avatarjk137_

**Dear avatarjk137,**

**1. ...What's the catch?**

**2. Ugh. the man is Spainard. From spain though. Not Mexico.**

**3. I dont even remember, gomen!**

**(HS: PS- lol I saw that XD)**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,_

_sorry I already ate all the pie...and it was so good!XD_

_Anyways how many swords can you stick in your mouth?...Oo...And pluss do you wanta puppy?_

_Have a Nice Day,  
BadLuckCat_

**Dear BadLuckCat,**

**Alot, but I prefer one. And no, I dont want a puppy.**

_

* * *

Dear strange people,  
My answer to HS's question, is that I read all of it, not just my question.  
Zoro, it's interesting that you think I'm insane..I get that from alot of people..but I have one thing to say!This is madness? THIS IS SPARTA!cough  
1.What would a rose be by another name?..For it would smell just as sweet.  
2. Who do you think is a better dancer? Mr. 2 or Laffite(sp?)?  
3...If you are wanting to get out of theirshifty eyes I can get you a little package that might help  
...That's right it was the maid, with candle stick, in the ballroom!  
Sicerly yours,  
The man of a thousand titles  
PS...This message will self-destruct-oh, wait it already has.._

_---Mr.4_

**Dear Mr. 4,**

**1. What the hell are _you_ on?**

**2. I can tell you one thing, what Bon Clay does, I do not conister dancing or manly.**

**3. Yeah, you _are _on something.**

_

* * *

_

Dear Zoro,  
I never asked u a question before but here i got...  
#1 do you like vivi? (i am random) GO RANDOMNESS! YAY  
#2 How often to you fight with the perverted cook of the crew?  
#3 do you think luffy and nami are a good pairing? i do!! oh and please do not let Nami kill me!  
#4 what is luffy like if he eat's a lot of suger?  
#5 Haschopper ever gotten drunk?!?!  
THATS IT FOR NOW! WE! MAYBE more question's later!  
BYE BYE  
from, WolfGirl88

**Dear WolfGirl88,**

**1. Like like, or just like. Because I do not love her.**

**2. When Im not eating, sleeping or fighting.**

**3. I dont really see the connection between them. Who came up with that?**

**4. Like he is now, just twice as stupider.**

**5. Not that I know of.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro,_

_If you were to learn how to dance, what type would it be?  
Of course I'm just really curious! -_

_Oni Giri Slash  
P.S I enjoy reading your cool reamarks to other peoples questions! Hee hee you RULE!_

**I dont know. Breaking dancing? Ballroom has Dart board brow written all over it.**

_

* * *

Hi Zoro!  
If you could dye your hair any colour in the world what would it be? (No it doesn't have to be pink. Though I am pretty sure that quite a few people that read this coloumn would like that.)  
Animegal9215_

_PS To HS yes I do read other peoples questions_

_PPS You didn't tell Sanji that I liked him! Whats up with that??_

**I DONT KNOW! NOR DO I CARE NOW STOP ASKING BE THAT YA BAKAS!**

**(HS: Mah. So loud!)**

**IM SUPPOSE TO TELL YOU THAT!**

**(HS: Well now the tables do turn. When it's all gone what's left for you? And when the sky is falling, dont look outside the-)**

**SHUT UP!**

**(HS: BAKAYARO!)**

**IM NOT A DUMBASS!**

_

* * *

Hello again... it's snowing again... TELL SANJI I LOVE HIM!_

_Zoro-  
1. Who's your favorite person in the world? (mine and yours)  
2. Who do you hate the most in my world?  
3. Why wont you tell Sanji?  
5. How far can you count? This is a pretty random question, i'll admit._

_HS, I read up untill mine and Skie's question. Then i just graze over a bit.  
Hey... HS, i've got a question for you. How come you don't ask Zoro any questions. Or are you just telling him your questions instead of sending them? Jerk. (disregard that)_

_Love from-  
LaCoeurdelaMer (TheHeartoftheSea)_

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**1. I dont have one. HA. You thought I was gonna say Kuina. Im not THAT predictable.**

**2. KELLY!**

**3. Tell him what?**

**4. As far as you.**

**(HS: Hehehe, yeah Ima jerk XD)**

_

* * *

-clenches fist,holds back anger.. but.. can't take anymore..-  
BEP! Jeez,man you're makin' me mad!! -sigh-  
I should've had killed you when you were still little! Damn you,Roronoa!  
I shouldn't have called you sensei at first and I wish I never say sorry  
at you!! -sigh.. again-_

_Anyway,I can't kil you.. you're just a cartoon.Guess I'll just have to stuck  
up all my anger...  
Ok.. though I'm mad,but I'm chillin slowly,let me ask you another question.._

_Hmm.. can't think of any.. oh yeah here.  
Why do you think people call you hot??  
-  
Here's for H.S.,The question.. 'Do you read other people's questions,like the whole thing or just  
your own.'..  
Me; Yes,I do read their questions and Zoro's answers.But some are too long and that I don't know who are they  
talking about,like that Kelly chick.I don't know her.. but Zoro says that he'll kill her.Soo,yeah..  
Anyway,I've read your profile and you said that you're Irish/Filipino,right? Then where in the world are  
you now?? This 'Ask Zoro' thing is cool!_

_---motoko-chan_

**Dear Motoko-chan,**

**I do not know why people call me hot---Wait, people? Dont you mean only females---Oh god...**

**(HS: Ne...I AM Kelly -.- And Im in California...Not in Ireland nor the Philippines, but Ive been there. So cool!)**

_

* * *

_

i read the whole thing (guns/swords/other weapons come out) I'm not lying!  
Dear Zoro-san,  
The sanzo ikkou isn't that kind of SanZo(SanjixZoro). They're a priest and 3 youkai/half youkai with a dragon that can turn into a jeep. You know how everyone says that one piece is the greatest treasure or at least something like that what do you think it is?  
-nekosaru:3

**Dear nekosaru:3,**

**...Luffy keeps on saying his dream is to find One Piece, but seep down, I think he already found his dream...Nakama.**

**(HS: AHAHAHAHAHAHA)**

**KELLY! STOP HACKING INTO THE COMPUTER!!!**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro,_

_Which ninja did you beat? Did you really mean about the last sentence that you answered Abbie-sama about? What's your favorite type of food? Do you and Sanji have contests before, like eating, swiming, etc. What kind? Who won? And to H.S. I do read all of the answers and questions since it's really well written, unlike some -shifty glance-. Have you ever gotten caked before? My best friend gotten caked on her birthday._

_Akizakura_

**Dear Akizakura,**

**I owned them all, yes I meant it, I like onigiri, I compete with Sanji twenty-four seven.**

**(HS: ugh...I got caked on my birthday last month...)**

_

* * *

Dear My Sweet Marmio-kun!_

_HAHAHA...ok in the top 5 hated-ppl list-thing you didn't put Sanji! lol, i thought you DESPISED him! and u said if you could/had to kill some one on the crew you said Nami, again...i thought you HATED Sanji more! lol!(im not saying ur gay & 'like' Sanji, im just proving that i know you guys are good friends deep down!_

_AND do you get annoyed when ppl call you Zolo unstead of Zoro?(Damn 4kids ppl) or call u Marmio or Grass-Head?, just wondering..._

_U dont like hugs? ya, well...FACT: people who recieve at least 5 hugs a day have proved to be happier and more energetic than people that dont! So HA! Can i hug you?_

_-iLUVu/Lilygirl33_

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**Yes, I hate it when people do not use my REAL name. **

**FACT: I dont care -.-**

_

* * *

YO's! What ever that means... I cheshiresphinx and Elisa(You may have met her or not...but) have two questions!  
CS:First, Mine! Uh...What's your favorite holiday? Don't tell me it's saint pats day..._

_Elisa: Now Me! Hmm...How do you feel with the nickname 'Rice ball?' Cause your hair...seaweed... and I hear Oni-giri also refers to...well..Rice balls! the nickname 'Marimo's gettin' old..._

_CheshireSphinx the cloak-wearin-catgirl and  
ElisaAka The untouchable Risu. :P_

**Dear ChesireSphinx,**

**I was born on Veteran's day apparently, 11/11...I like Thanksgiving. Food. I like food.**

**My. Name. Is ZORO!!!!**

_

* * *

Zoro,(Still thinking of names here!)  
Even though i have no idea what that word ment since i am practically very loopy and exremely lazy, i still am well rested an ready to ask another unnesscecary question! (note no caps).well my obviously stupid question is are you sick of this question corner? if you are beg kelly to put sanji on or run away again! i despretly need to ask him a question!!  
--Hachiko-chan_

_(p.s. am i deranged?)_

**I was never _well_ with this damn 'question corner'!!! And I do not 'beg' Che...**

**PS: no, just detactched from reality.**

_

* * *

to: ZOLO._

_OI. MARIMO.  
Just want to Mention that Sanji kicks your ass.  
I hope you fall in a ditch and bury yourself alive. I called you zolo to piss you off.  
another thing: we all know your hair is trully pink._

_MY QUESTION IS:  
Have you ever drunk so much you actually looked up to Sanji? (you should do it more often. He owns yours.)_

_P.s: I do read other peoples questions._

_P.s.s: ZOLO is a conceited bastard._

_---BiRaiNbow_

**Logic has a brother, and his name is SHUT THE HELL UP!**

_

* * *

Yo Marimo!  
I'm new to this whole question asking thing but its pretty cool! As for HogawartShinobi's question of 'do you read other people answers or your own?'_

_I've read every question in this thing._

_Also, to Zoro, remember how avatarjk137 asked you if you fought zombies before? You remember the 6th one piece movie right? I'm not going to reveal anything for fear of spoilers though. And as for questions..._

_1. In a actualy fight, who would win between you and Sanji? I know you won in one of the movies, but that was because Sanji let his guard down when you stoped attacking._

_2. What did you think of the time you and sanji had to team up and work as an actual team to take on thos giants in the Davy Back Fight? I'm actually a total Sanji fan, but I'm a sucker for hand to hand fights withought weapons. XD_

_Also, to HS:  
Just so you know, there are 7 one piece movies and each one can be found in japan, or in youtube. ;)  
PS. My name is Spidey-kid1, but just call me Kidd (the two d's are random. I like them. Keep them." Thanks!_

_-Kidd_

**Oh god, we are never going on an island with talking flowers EVER again!**

**1. Heh. I hold BACK!**

**2. It was okay.**

**(HS: Yeah I know. Ive seen all of them twice and the fourth and sixth one at least 5. Im currently writing a story for the fourth one, Dead End No Bouken.)**

_

* * *

_

Fangirl SQEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL!

I Just watched the new trailer for POTC 3 in english IMA WATCH IT ZOMFG

AKJVNLIELGIBVLIBGELIBELIBVLEIBGLI -spaz attack- SO COOL NYAAAAA! SCREAM WITH ME MY FELLOW FANS!

Anyway, if you have any questions to me, send me a private message! This is the ask ZORO column XD


	15. 14th Edition

_Hey Zoro! It's Emma again... I'm someone who dosn't bother you but I have asked questions to you before (I asked the Klondike bar question) wny ways I need your help on something, you see I broke up with my boyfriend last month... and we've been having a fued... he said he was degraged by being dumped by a disabled persion (I have many things but to keep the list short I have musicalr dyphsoy and I'm bi-polar... the last imporants), he's been mentioning that I'm bi-polar every-where we both hang out (here and Gaia) and other things too... I was wondering if you could kill him for me... if you can't (stares at Kelly) then do have any advise... I would really like. _

PS Do you watch Naruto the Abirged Series? Becuse I noticed that you used a line from it...

PSS I baked you a "speical" cake (whipsers) There's various things that will help you escape baked into it... (normal voume but very strained tone) and it's filled with rum cream.

Well have to go... see you later!

_---Emma Iveli_

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

**This guy seems like a jerk. But even the biggest jerks are just unintellegent retards. And jerk-ism is far worse then any diease. So ignoring him wouldn't work too much, but confronting him will kill him inside :) Plus, Kelly and I promised we wouldn't kill anything for awhile. **

**(HS: NARUTO ABRIDGED OWNS! ...Heh heh...Moo.)**

_

* * *

Alright,it all make sense now.. Now I'm  
good.:)  
-- Anway,question again,Zoro..  
Lets see.. I'm going to annoy you.. (I think..) _

1.If you've beaten Kuina WHEN you first fought,you're going to  
own the dojo,right? Then what are you going to do with it? Yeah  
I know it's a dojo,but you can't run a dojo alone.

2.You're fighting a WOMAN then you lost.. Yes,baby,LOST!  
Well whacha' goina' do?? (I don't know how you lost but you  
did.. to a woman.) She humiliated you,Zoro.She looked down at  
you and smiled evily saying... 'You're soo weak.How can you  
loose to a woman like me??' Ouch! That's gotta hurt! So,Zoro..  
What??

3.What if you went into a swordshop to ask the blacksmith to fix  
the Yubashiri then suddenly.. a SWORDSWOMAN appeard! She's a Marine  
and looks like Kuina.. yeah O.K. it's Tashigi,then you can't run,ofcourse,  
because you've handed your sword!! Oh no!! Ah! Whacha' goina' do.. again??

P.S.; Hahaha! I don't know why I'm laughing.. --

Alright,it all make sense now.. Now I'mgood.:)-- Anway,question again,Zoro..Lets see.. I'm going to annoy you.. (I think..) Alright,it all make sense now.. Now I'mgood.:)-- Anway,question again,Zoro..Lets see.. I'm going to annoy you.. (I think..) Alright,it all make sense now.. Now I'mgood.:)-- Anway,question again,Zoro..Lets see.. I'm going to annoy you.. (I think..) Alright,it all make sense now.. Now I'mgood.:)-- Anway,question again,Zoro..Lets see.. I'm going to annoy you.. (I think..) Alright,it all make sense now.. Now I'mgood.:)-- Anway,question again,Zoro..Lets see.. I'm going to annoy you.. (I think..) Alright,it all make sense now.. Now I'mgood.:)-- Anway,question again,Zoro..Lets see.. I'm going to annoy you.. (I think..) 

_---motoko-chan_

**Dear Motoko-chan,**

**1. I could've ran a dojo on my own! You guys don't have an ounce of faith in me, do you?**

**2. Grumble, get up and run away from the Marines as they spot me in the crowd.**

**3. Hopfully there is a nearby random barrel inside there so I can hide myself...Maybe I could take a nap too...**_

* * *

_

_Dear To Whom It May Concern, _

Please excus- (oh wait, wrong letter)  
proceeds to write scibbles and doodles over the words, not compleletly covering the words

Dear Samurai-san a.k.a. GreenHead-sama a.k.a. Roronoa-chan a.k.a. Zoro-chan

To HS: Hey, this is actually cool!

To Zoro-chan:  
Heya Zoronoa! Okay, stupid name, but I give ev'ryone I know crazy names. If it'll make you feel any better, I call Sanji Jiji(For those that don't know, it means "Grandpa"). Then again, I also call Luffy Loofa...

Here are mah questions for yah! Here's the list:  
1) "IF" you had a dream, what would it be about?

2) What's you favorite subject in school? Wait, did you even go to any kind of school?

3) If you had to be changed into an animal, what animal would you be? And no, human doesn't count.

4) If you had to be a cute, small, fluffy, cute, tiny, cute, cuddly animal, cute, what would you be? Cute?

5) Is cute starting to sound weird to you?

6) Did I spell weird right?

7) Have you ever been to the Philippines? (If you have, why haven't I seen yah!?)

8) If you ever did go to the Phils, would you agree to meet me and teach me how to torture annoying people like Sanji? Well, he's annoying to you; he's hilarious to me.

9) What would you do if you fell asleep, and then woke up, realizing that your whole life as a pirate/bounty hunter was a dream and you're a very rich and famous swordsman. Oh, you're actually married to Nami and having two kids while Sanji is a cook that works in your mansion while Usopp is your personal servant, Chopper is your pet raindeer.  
Along with that, you find that Luffy is actually your half-brother along with Ace, and Robin is your sister, while Tashigi and Kuina really twins and are both your former lovers in the past.

10) Wowo I actually counted to ten! Anyways: Do you think I'm  
a) hyper  
b) crazy  
c) psychotic  
d) all of the above?

PS: I hope that you know that if you don't answer any of these (Qs 1, 3, 4, & 9), then your leading me to think up of other various ways of how it would have been answered...and how it would have happened...and then I might be tempted to purposely forget them and then I, thinking it's true, tell 'em to other people.

PSS: I wonder if it'll ease your pain/anguish/anger/whatever negative feeling I know you'll be feeling/distubed-ness if I say that I don' believe you to be gay?

PS: Here's the results of the last question when I asked ten people, if you want to know!  
(50 said d, 20 said b, 20 said a, while 10 said e for "Ek! Get away from me!")  
What do you think of that?

P4S: Did I ask too many questions?

-Sincerely not trying to make you life miserable but is somehow doing it anyway, ObiJets

**Dear ObiJets,**

**1. Swords! And rum! ...Yeah. Rum.**

**2. I didn't go to school. Didn't you not see me go to school during that flashback in episode 19??**

**3. Im going to go with shark. Agressive, eats alot, blah blah.**

**4. I'd be a fangirl's dream animal.**

**5. Yes, you moron.**

**6. Yes, you moron.**

**7. Philippines? Never been there. **

**8. If were to go to the Philippines, it was because Kelly forced me, dragging me through Manila, Bagou, Pagasinna and who knows where. So I probably wouldnt have time...**

**9. I would say that was oddly suspious...Kelly what are you doing? OI DONT MAKE THAT A FANFIC!**

**10. F) ugok**

_

* * *

_

_Hello, Zoro-san.  
I'll be polite since your patience is probably being strung out beyond its limits. Gosh, some people don't know how to use proper grammar and you can barely understand them. They're also very rude._

_Anyway... Have you ever driven a car? And what is your favorite car if you have one?_

_-Madlibs44_

_P.S. I apologize for my sister, Lilygirl33, if she bugged you. I will eagerly hit her upside the head for you._

**Dear Madlibs44,**

**Thank you for you're realizations and concern.**

**I havent driven a car, HS won't let me -.-**

**PS- You're related to that crazy baka?**

_

* * *

_

_Ok... Skie gave me this great question... BUT I FORGOT IT! (starts to sob)  
Ok... here's a question... Have you ever cried?_

_I'm not gonna say what you'll probably do so not to give you ideas:l_

_PS, tell Sanji i love him! Good god... why are you so iritating?  
Love From  
LaCoeurdelaMer Ia-Swan_

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**Ask as many times as you want. Im not telling him.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro-type-person,  
I'm insulted that you question me like that! I gave you those tickets out of kindness, because it's a nice thing to do, because I admire you, and because nobody should have to put up with such a murderous fangirl! Yaoi fangirls can be bad enough... Here's another gift, btw. Put this fish in your ear. So yeah, talking flowersbad, right? Anyhoo, onto the questions.  
1. What is your opinion on axes and halberds? We don't see too many in One Piece...  
2. Have you ever been hit on by a drunken girl? How about a drunken gay guy, or a drunken guy who couldn't see very well?  
3. Do you think it's dishonorable for somebody to have gadgets hidden in their sword?  
From avatarjk137-type-person.  
P.S. I do read the whole fic, but apparently I don't absorb everything in the author's notes. That reminds me, SCREAMS!!_

**Dear avatarjk137,**

**You must have wanted something in return. It's obvious.**

**1. ****If I dont fight'em, I dont care.**

**2. If memory serves, all of the above...**

**3. If they are bad guys, yes, good guys, no. The reason the being is the fact when a good guy does it, it's never wrong.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Moss-Head_

_OMG! I didn't ask a question last time! Did you miss me? I guess you wouldn't since I'm on your MOST HATED LIST. BLUARGH._

_Anywho! Here's my question you beef jerky koff...What would you do if I told you that at precicely 3 A.M., Ia was going to drop a water balloon larger than any water balloon has the right to be on your head...filled with a mixture of maple syrup, pink paint...and glitter...What would you do?_

_And by the way, we had a deal with my mom...no sugar 'til September for us and we go to Disney World on New Years. Guess who's gonna get annoyed the heck out of in my fanfiction where I apply this deal? -evil grin directed at Zoro- Just guess. I dare you._

_--Skie-Chan  
P.S. I LOVE V FOR VENDETTA!_

**Dear SkieLOON,**

**What would you do if I told you it's precicely 3 A.M. right down as I type this and am looking up at you glaring intensely at this moment and you just gave away your stupid little prank?**

**-smirk- You should start running now.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro,  
You play a hard game. So I'm gonna have to take you out. Wait- not date like... ur going down marimo. And my friend is pissed off... she had to hook up w/ Sanji cause of you. Sanji! I hope your happy._

_-ocean-view-luffy_

_P.S. I'm sending HogwartShinobi an electric whip... u better hope it gets lost in the mail._

**Dear -ocean-view-luffy,**

**Bring it.**

**(HS: Oi oi oi, dont kill my captain!)**

**Huh?**

**(HS: Im Ms. Goldenweek :D)**

**StrawHats: NANI?!**

_

* * *

_

_to: ZOLO._

_TEME.  
your insult was disappointing. I wanted to see you freak out.  
but I have plenty of time to do that.  
another thing.  
SanZo rocks. I have some friends who would back me up  
Whats with your idiot green hair anyway? which leads me to my question._

_here it is:  
Whats your favourite colour?_

_I figured maybe it WASN'T green. . by any chance.  
and answer it this time. I want to know._

_by the way,  
Kudos to HS.  
SanZo owns._

_P.s: have you looked in a mirror yet? hides_

_-biRaiNbow_

**Dear biRaiNbow,**

**I dont have a favor color. And if I did, dont asume it's green.**

**Ps- Have you seen you're future yet?**

_

* * *

Hey Marimo and HShinobi,  
About you writing Dead End No Bouken, I know about it! I knew your story line seemed familier. Minus Luffy's great great great grand daughter and stuff. The fourth movie was the best! Sanja... Usa... Chopper... really creative too. Good job!_

Hey Marimo and HShinobi,About you writing Dead End No Bouken, I know about it! I knew your story line seemed familier. Minus Luffy's great great great grand daughter and stuff. The fourth movie was the best! Sanja... Usa... Chopper... really creative too. Good job!Hey Marimo and HShinobi,About you writing Dead End No Bouken, I know about it! I knew your story line seemed familier. Minus Luffy's great great great grand daughter and stuff. The fourth movie was the best! Sanja... Usa... Chopper... really creative too. Good job! Hey Marimo and HShinobi,About you writing Dead End No Bouken, I know about it! I knew your story line seemed familier. Minus Luffy's great great great grand daughter and stuff. The fourth movie was the best! Sanja... Usa... Chopper... really creative too. Good job!Hey Marimo and HShinobi,About you writing Dead End No Bouken, I know about it! I knew your story line seemed familier. Minus Luffy's great great great grand daughter and stuff. The fourth movie was the best! Sanja... Usa... Chopper... really creative too. Good job!Hey Marimo and HShinobi,About you writing Dead End No Bouken, I know about it! I knew your story line seemed familier. Minus Luffy's great great great grand daughter and stuff. The fourth movie was the best! Sanja... Usa... Chopper... really creative too. Good job! 

_As for questions...  
1. Before, you said you were mexican. Didn't know there was a mexico in the one piece world...?_

_2. If you had to choose between saving Luffy's life and giving up your dream forever, what would it be?_

_That should get you to think. Now for an easy one..._

_3. If you had to choose between saving Nami's life and giving up your dream forever, what would it be? XD_

_4. I know all this Zolo and yaoi stuff annoys you (and seriously, I feel like punching my screen when I see something like ZoroXsanji or AceXLuffy... ) and if you had a chance to stop it would you? Only catch is that, if you say yes, after you accomplish your dream, your stuck back here answering questions with HS for the rest of eternity.  
8p_

_Thats all for now._

_-Kidd_

**Dear Kidd,**

**1. Hey, Naruto's blonde. No one says anything about that.**

**2. Oh great. It's _this_ question. Well, when the time comes, Ill make a drastic choice and surprise the watchers by having them wait till the next episode.**

**3. Now you're all just mocking me.**

**4. I might consider that...**

_

* * *

_

_Yo, I just remembered that I wrote a fanfic with you killing your dub counterpart. If I could rewrite the fight, what technique would you want me to have you beat Zolo with? _

Also, on a side note, how do you feel about the fact that 4kids gave up One Piece and which company do you think would do better with a redub, Viz or FUNi? (Not Adult Swim. OP may not be for children, but it's not adult either)

_---nld200xy_

**Dear nld200xy,**

**Asura: Ichibugin a.k.a Three-Headed-Six-Armed-Demon-God: One-Mist-Silver**

**Heh heh heh...**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro, _

_How different would your life be if you were a female instead of a male. Would you find anyone on your crew attracting? Sanji would treat you very differently though... So what would it be like Zoroian? -winks, sits on top of Kyubi's head-_

_Akizakura._

**Dear Akizakura,**

**That might condradict my vow...And dont think you can always hide behind that stupid kitsune -.-**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Marimo, _

_UNHEALTHY ALGAE-EATER! ...Dark chocolate is better for you, you know... Well, anyway..._

_Where did you get your green waisteband-thinga-ma-goo? I want one! Only in black, because green sucks._

_And how would you react if I said I would help you escape?_

_P.s. Sanji's way better than you, Mr. Moss-head._

_--The Great Abbie-sama!_

**Dear Abbie-sama,**

**...My hamarki? I bought it.**

**And if you said that I would ask why you would say Sanji was better than me...**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro, _

I want to start out by saying that this is the first time I have written to here, so I want to say you are one of my favorite charectors because you are the best swordsman around (Well, not sure at this point, dont take it the wrong way, but you have yet to beat Mihawk, and so far, he pwns too. cant wait for that fight.)around and you have some pretty killer moves. Also, your not as troublesome as the other guys on board the ship, and at least your smarter than any of them(Which is saying something right there.)Also, why does everyone think your gay? Your straight, from what I can tell, you just like fighting a lot. Those people who ask those questions are all troublesome.

Anyway, to the point: the questions. I have a lot, so I'll try to put in as man as I can.

1. If you were to be with Mihawk right here, right now, and you had no swords at all, and niether did he, how would you fight him as a last resort?

2. if you wanted to torture Sanji and/or kill him in any way, which way would it be? Can you at least tell me one way?

3. Why are you always sleeping almost all the time in the series? You cant be that tired...

4. Did Robin betray you guys or something, because I saw it in an opening once. (Sorry for asking, I'm such a newb at One Piece, I only know a couple of episodes and at least know the general storyline, but I'm not watching the Japenese version, only the American at the moment, Gomen.)

5. Which is your favorit One Piece opening?

6. If you were to face off against any of the swordsman/soul reapers from Bleach, which one would you face? (If you say Byakuya Kuchiki, then your nuts, that guy would own you...)

Well, thats it for now, dont want to ask too muc right now, it would be way to troublesome. Anyway, please tell me soon, I really admire your skills, oh, and if you can, tell Luffy that even though I like his moments when he's a complete idiot(Being all the time.), tell him that he is really troublesome, more so than Naruto, if possible. By the way, you will be in my fanfiction, along with the rest of the One Piece crew. Its called Kingdom Hearts 3: Guardian of the Key Chronicles, and i have yet to put your part in it yet, check it out. Okay, thats it, i think I'll go back to staring at the clouds again. (Stares at clouds, then falls asleep.)z...

_---shika-kun49_

**Dear shika-kun49,**

**1. Hell yes.**

**2. Slow, painful maybe chop those 'preious' hands of his right off...**

**3. What wrong with sleeping? I might be narcoleptic you know!**

**4. She didn't betray us, so to say. And I really cant explain without spoling anything.**

**5. Opening 5. It's pretty desent. Better than that excuse 4Kids calls an 'opening'.**

**Do you know Nara Shikamaru? We have lots in common. I too think women are a bother.**

**Hn. Troublesome...**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro, _

_Aw! Why not? They'er cute and cuddlie and fuzzy wuzzy!_

_Oh and Zoro I was on the internet and I found a picture where this person drawn you as a pink bunny...please don't kill me It wasn't me!_

_Have a Nice Day,  
BadLuckCat_

**Dear BadLuckCat,**

**No fuzzies and no wuzzies, thank you very much.**

**KELLY TAKE THAT STUPID PICTURE OFF YOUR DESKTOP! ...Wait...Why am I, of all people, on your desktop...?**

**(HS: Because...Oh look...Mihawk! -runs-)**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro, _

_Being the attentive lefty nerd that I am, I noticed that you are a lefty as well. (Or at least ambidextrous)  
It's hard to spot due to you using both hands in combat, but it's there. I can tell from which side of your hips the swords are on and such. (In fact, most things are on the left side in your quirky little show.)_

_Anyway, when you trained, did you learn to get your right as good as the left? That's not easy to do without pain._

_P.S. LEFTYS FOREVER!_

_Amaya_

**Dear Amaya,**

**(HS: HELL YES! LEFTYS OWN!)**

**...Hn. I never really noticed...I use them both frequently and fluently...Does that make me ambidextrous?**

_

* * *

_

_Greasy,  
Don't ask why i'm calling you greasy, it's just it really doesn't look like you wash your hair properly. That's probably why it's green. Ahem, anyways can you eat a(or how many you can eat) foot long at subway? If I tell you that i can't even eat a 6 inch will you call me a wuss?  
--Hachiko-chan  
(P.S. i am not deatatched from reality, just a little crazy!)_

**Dear Hachiko-chan/ Sanji-kunZoro-san,**

**I dont know. You guys as random questions o.O Do your ideas just fall from the friggin sky?? And no, I wouldnt call you a wuss.**

**(PS: Im not even from your reality, so Im not going to trip over it.)**

_

* * *

_

_Dear, Zoro-san,  
Konichiwa! Tis I cheshiresphinx Again! Elisa couldn't make it but gave me a note telling me to to ask you another one of her questions. I'm sorry she called you rice ball. It was Her Idea, Hm...thanksgiving day huh? So here's my question. It's one of your nakama's birthdays. What do you get them? All including San-San...I mean Sanji! Sigh And now I shall read you Elisa's Note... _

_Hey! Rice Ball-san!  
I couldn't make it to asking you a question so I gave CS this note. My question is Have you ever woken up to the sound of someone banging on a frying pan with a ladle?  
Elisa_

_One again...Gomenasai for Elisa's Randomness!  
Cheshiresphinx_

**Dear Cheshiresphinx,**

**I just get them something I pick up at the market place before their party. Sanji can bake his own damn cake -.-**

**Yeah, Kelly did that to me yesterday!**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zoro:  
You hurt my feelings... HOW DARE YOU! NOW I AM VERY PISSED OFF! HOW DARE YOU CALLING ME CRAZY!!HUH? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO CALL ME CRAZY COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO ALMOST CUTS HIS FEETS OFF BECAUSE HE COULDNT GET OUT OF A GIANT CAKE OF WAX!  
YOU STUPID HEAD MARIMO YOU DESERVE TO DIE KILLED BY THE AWESOME SWORDMAN MIHAWK!! AND I HOPE YOU GET CASTRATED AND NEVER HAVE CHILDREN YES!! AND WHEN YOU TRY TO SLEEP HORRENDOUS NIGHTMARES ATTACKING YOU CONCERNING KUINA BLAMING YOU OF HER DEATH!! I HOPE YOU D...BOM _

_(holding a giant hammer)Gomen Nasai!  
I am sorry I was feeling very bad and my doupletganger took control I am sorry it happens when I feel very sad I have been having troubles... If you dont know a doupletganger is like your interior voice who is always saying you to do bad things but there is a huge backgroung behind that but that is basically the main idea again I am sorry I should have control it! (bows gently) question one: would you forgive me?  
question two: Zoro have you ever been in love? seriously no yaoi! nor crushes! serious love, the one that you will die for her have you? or you havent been in love? and please give me a long answer I mean come on! We are supposed to meet you through this column and you dont help us to meet you if you give us short answer please thank you very kindly for your time and I hope HowgartsShinobi isnt torturing you! you know anything you need just ask :)_

_sincerely yours  
Lonely Musician_

_P.D. HogwartShinobi please dont torture Zoro-sama he is a nice guy even do he called me crazy... Hope you are doing fine and thank you very mucho for doing this column is so cool! again anything you need Just ask!_

**Dear Lonely Musician,**

**Take a chill pill fruit cake.**

**I might forgive you, Ive never been in love and once again,**

**you're crazy.**

_

* * *

_

_To Zoro,  
I have a few questions: _

_1. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?  
2. Why do you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?  
3. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?  
4. Who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavor?  
5. Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?  
6. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?  
7. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?  
8. Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?_

_littlepinkangel_

**Dear littlepinkangel,**

**1. 'abbreviated' isnt as long as supercalifragilisticxpaladocious.**

**2. Because that's where you start to finish. **

**3. Because folklore makes you think thats all cats eat.**

**4. Taste-testing dogs.**

**5. Because God told him to keep two of everything.**

**6. So no bacteria infects the dead person.**

**7. Because it's pyhsically improbable.**

**8. Because they are not houses.**

**...Durt dee dur...**

_

* * *

_

_Hey Zoro,  
Has Sanji ever made Pizza before? and did you ever think about getting a car?  
-Snowymountains56_

**Nope. Nope.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Zozo _

_I'm sending you the hospital bill for that! How come you allowed yourself to get beat up by that old wrinkly female doctor when nami was sick? and by the way there's a spider in your hair and it looks poisonous_

_SaiyanWarrior200_

**Because it was apart of the plot line. Im tired. Ja ne.

* * *

**

Holy crap this was over 4000 words O.o

Okay, quick while the moss-head's sleeping! I have a** _URGENT-SUPER-AWESOME-SPECIAL-SUPER _secret!**

-looks around...-

After popular demand, SANJI'S ANSWERING QUESTIONS NEXT CHAPPIE HURRY UP, THIS IS A ONCE IN A FANFIC CHANCE!

Love me, feed me, never leave me :D


	16. 15th Edition, Sanji Says Pt 1

_**OI! READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS!!!! DONT IGNORE THIS YOU DAMN IDIOTS!!!!**_

**_NOW THAT YOU'RE PAYING ATTENTION, SANJI WILL GET WNOTHER CHAPTER SO YOU CAN ASK HIM MORE QUESTIONS CUZ TOO MANY PEOPLE DID READ THE MEMO!!!!

* * *

_**

_Oi! Zoro-sama. Hello, I have a few questions for you. I need ACTUALY advice, since this is an advic colum. _

Question: My friend has a crush on one of your nakama, but she's too cowardly and STUPID to tell him, or even speak to him! Every time he talks to her, she makes up some stupid excuse to leave and brags me with her. Kicking her ass and dragging her over to him is out since she's got Mind Mind powers, so...any advice? In advance, i thank you for any advice you will give bows respectfully

Question 2: Do you have ANY idea who I am?

_---The Masked Alchemist_

**Dear Masked Alchemist,**

**Sanji: Fine. _Dont_ ask me a question -.-**

**Zoro: shut it kuso-cook! Anyway, Depending on who the person is, (Better not be me.) means on asking out that person could be in different ways. Like Luffy for example; He's an idiot. So you'd have to do it slowly and clearly or he'll take it the wrong way. But Sanji's a completely different story. Ask him out and he'll say yes in a heart beat like the prevert he is.**

**Sanji: OI!**

**

* * *

**

_Greasy.  
Jeez man you need a break, you're getting so lazy to answer your questions. Oh and thanks for not calling me a wuss, that made my day cause everyone else says I am. Well my question is: Is you bandanna all sweaty and gross? You sure use it a lot and I'm pretty sure you sweat a lot when you fight. Well I'm bored...that's all I got sorry and no my questions don't fall from the sky, I happened to have ate a sub sandwich and just had the thought.  
-Hachiko-Chan_

**Dear Hachiko-Chan,**

**Sanji: Bwahahahaha!**

**Zoro: Hmph! Im not _that_ unhygenic! I know when things go in the laundry, you _wuss_!**

**Sanji: Are all your advice-needer this awesome?**

**Zoro: Im glad you're only here for one chapter -.-**

**/HogwartShinobi enters **

**HS: Actually, Zoro-san, Sanji's here for 2 chapters!**

**Both: NANI?!**

**HS: Well alot of people didnt get my message about Sanji-san being a guest, plus I like ZoSan, remember? kukukuku...**

**Both: So cruel!**

**

* * *

**

_(stompled by vicious Sanji fangirls) OW! God, I don't really see the big deal. People didn't do this when the Pope came to town...  
Dear King of the Curled Brow,  
1. Did you know Zoro's paranoid? He thinks I want something when I'm just trying to help him out of a bind, free of charge!  
2. Does the eye you always keep covered get better night vision (due to being in the dark for so long)?  
3. Aren't suits uncomfortable? Keep in mind some girls think CASUAL looks better...  
4. Isn't that the same cigarette from when Luffy first met you?  
5. My friend noticed your legs, like Luffy, actually stretch to an extent, especially when you propeller-kick. Have you noticed this?  
6. Have you ever cooked human meat?  
Finally, here's a gift. This is a new door for your kitchen. The frame is cherry stone, so Luffy can't break it down. He has to wait for you to finish cooking and open the door.  
From That-Other-Fanfiction-Writer_

**Dear avatarjk137,**

**Sanji: **

**1. Paranoid, huh? That would explain so much...**

**2. I wouldnt know. I always keep it covered for some odd and inaccurate reason.**

**3. I find my suits quite comfortable. I've been wearing them for a long time! And your statement was quite the opposite, my friend. Chicks _dig_ the suits ;)**

**4. No! I light a new one at least 2 times a day! I keep one in my mouth just in case is all.**

**5. No I havent! I suppose it's just the way you see it on the screen...You stare at me legs O.o?**

**6. NO! OF COURSE NOT, BAKA!**

**...Thanks for the door.

* * *

**

_OH MY GOD IT'S SANJI! _

I LOVE YOU SANJI!  
Now onto my question...  
Since i remembered the question that i was going to ask last time... I'll ask a different one.  
Sanji (olivejuice)  
Who do you like more? Skie or Ia? (that's me) If you say Skie i'll cry for a month... and if you say me, I'll be happy and it'll make my BF jealous that a Manga character likes me:D  
Thank you!  
Love love love love and more love from LaCoeurdelaMer!  
Ia-Swan.

**Dear beautiful Ia-swan,**

**Ahhh...A lovely young lady asking for adive from me? Im honored! **

**My dear beauty, your personality blosoms with pure elegance! You're a wonderful feminine flower! Make sure your koi is jealous for my heart soars for you!**

**HS and Zoro: Che. Suck up.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Zoro, _

I'm not hiding behind Kyubi. -pouts- I'm on top of his head moron. Do you know where to get One Piece the first movie? I checked Youtube but it's blurry and you can't see the subs. If your thinking I'm hiding behind Kyubi then "BRING IT ON!" And you are so going to lose. Can you check out my story called Interview, pwease. I'm sending you some bottles of rum so you better check it out. and sometimes people sends you stuff to be nice, like this sword polishing set... -wraps everything up and sends it to you-

Akizakura

**Dear Akizukura,**

**Either way ima kick your little ass! -OW! OI, TEME DONT TOUCH ME! **

**Sanji: Dont be so rude, Marimo.**

**Hn...No I dont know where to get this 'movie' of yours. Movie? Wait, we have a movie too?!**

**

* * *

**

_Dear Cook-San, _

What is the most intricate dish you have prepared? Was it one of your own concoction or did Zeff pass it on to you?

Azure.T

**Dear Azure-san,**

**Zeff passed down a brilliant recipe of many different foods in one dish! It contains ingredients from fish and herbs; To rice and meats! A beautiful piece of art that only my best hardship can create. I've yet to fully complete it's perfections quite yet.**

**

* * *

**

_Dear My Sweet Marimo-kun! _

WHAT DO YOU MEAN A CRAZY-BAKA! YES, I HEARD/READ WHAT YOU SAID TO MY BIG SISTER: madlibs44! Gr... And a shout out to my sis: what do you mean hit me upside the head? just cuz your older doesn't mean you stronger! and i think Luffy will be on my side for that!!

Anyway, my question is kinda for Luffy, but i want your opinion on it too Marmio:

With sibblings, do you think that its possible for a little sister/brother to be stronger than their older sister/brother? Does age matter? My sis thinks it does. Like take Luffy and Ace for example: when they are arm restling in Arabasta, their streght is equal, but Luffy claims he can still probably beat Ace. Then Ace is like "yah right" like he's some all powerful big bro or somthing!

HS: if its possible, can you give me Luffy, Marimo, and Ace's opinion on this? Thanks!

-Lilygirl33(is not a crazy-baka)

**Dear Lilygirl133,**

**Zoro: Age and size dont matter. As long as you train, determination and persistance with get you on the top of the chart!**

**Luffy: I can beat Ace!**

**Ace: Good luck with that...**

**Luffy: Nii-chan!**

**Ace: you might one day.**

**Luffy: Yosh! Then I'll be Kaiozuku!**

**

* * *

**

_Ooh, Sanji is answering questions!! _

Dear Sanji-kun,  
I have recently had a fight with marimo because he broke my friend's heart. All she wanted was a quick cup of coffee with him and he told her too piss off.  
So I have a couple of questions:  
1) can u maybe take my friend out. Make her feel pretty.  
2) If that electric whip doesn't come.. can u kick the shit outta Zoro 4 me?  
3) When ur done... is it ok if we meet 4 coffee and plot Zoro's ultimate death?

Hope 2 hear from u soon!  
Ocean-view-luffy. -yes I am a girl... so it might be a date-

**Dear Ocean-view-Luffy flower,**

**1) IF YOU INSIST; ANYTHING FOR A BEAUTIFUL GIRL!!!**

**2) I'll do that without question anytime!**

**3) Name the place, Ocean-swan!**

**HS: Oh god you're hitting on my CAPTAIN!

* * *

**

_Dear Sanji-kun_

_Eh? Zoro's not here? Well that's okay. Here's my questions:  
1. Have you ever even been on a date! Seriously! Your flitatious behaviour is disturbing! - But I still like you!  
2. Have you noticed that a lot of chefs (whether in movies or anime) are european and mostly French? Just a thought.  
3. What's Nami's favourite dish?_

_Oh god im tired! (it's about 8 in the morning I should be wide awake!)  
Enjo your stay in the evil clutches of HS!  
Oni Giri Slash yori_

**Dear Oni-Giri-Slash san,**

**1. I been on many dates! Remember the Whisky Peak arc? Such beautiful ladies! It was paradise!**

**2. Because the exquist dishes come from the heart of it all!**

**3. Ahhh...Nami-swan! She loves my dishes so well! I think she loves my different varities of smoothies! Refreshing with many flavors!**

_

* * *

Dear Sanji-san,  
If your hands were cut off would u still try to cook? If u would, well, do u know about auto mail? The surgery's painful as hell but I'm sure you would be able to endure it. Would u try to get it? So what do u think about the oc/mary sues/gary stews? Do u know about the show Iron Chefs? I read a fanfic about it. Would u enter?_

_-nekosaru:3_

**Dear nekosaru-chwan,**

**Auto mail? Anything to get my hands back! I cant live without them!**

**OC/Mary sue/gary stews...I suppose I can torlorate them...I love the fact the Mary sues are beautiful in every way as is an angel from heaven...But I love Nam-swan and Robin-chwan. Making me fall in love with them because they are perfect doesnt really suit me well.**

**I LOVE Iron Chefs! Kelly-chwan showed it to me a few weeks ago and it's spectacular! Of course I would enter!**

_

* * *

So the blonde dudes answeing this round? (Evil thought forming)_

_Quetions questions,_

_1. What do you think of 4Kids changing your 'cancer stick' to a lolipop?  
2. Why do you smoke the evil cancer sticks anyway?  
3. What methods of fangirl attack avoidance do YOU use?_

_Tha's all I can think of at the time, so I hope you ake such things into account.  
Thanks!_

_Amaya, H.D._

**Dear Amaya-chwan,**

**1. Because those bastards think kids will get 'influenced' by it! If kids were smart then they would know not to in the first place!**

**...Im anime I dont count!**

**2. BECAUSE I AM COOL LIKE THAT!**

**3. Avoid them?! I love them!**

_

* * *

EK! SANJI-SAN! I LOVE YOU! ahem. I have a few questions._

_1.What REALLY is behind your hair? Tell me,and I'll kiss you!  
2.Why do you and Zoro hate each other?  
3.What if Nami hated you and treated you horribly? Would you still love her?  
4.Do you have any phobias?  
5.Are you scared of spiders?  
6.Who's better,Nami or Robin? AND PICK ONLY ONE!!_

_That's all Sanji-kun. wink -Masaichu._

**Dear Masaichu-chwan,**

**Ahhh...A fangirl of mine, eh?**

**1. GWAAHHHH MASACHWAN BEHIND MY HAIR IS A EEPING EYE, FOR IT DOESNT GET TO SEE YOU!**

**2. Because we are polar axis that do not have any relation or liking what-so-ever.**

**3. I would love Nami-swan through heaven or hell!**

**4. Yes. My hands getting chopped off.**

**5. No...What gave you that idea?**

**6. Nyaaaa...Nami has such a beautiful personality! But Robin-chwan has a beauty all her own! To hard to decide...Hmmm...Women...**

**HS: O.o S-Sanji-nii-san? Sanji? SANJI!!! ...We lost'em.**

_

* * *

yo, Zoro and kusochef  
Zoro  
1. can you kill 4KIDS? or since you're in the clutches of HS-san, can you give me some tips to kill them?  
2. how do you feel if someone called you Zoro-chan?  
3. i can't believe you can spell supercalifragilisticxpaladocious  
4. what would you do if the Death Note was in your hands? who would you kill first?  
5. if you had a bad stomachache and Luffy was the only one there but sick, what would you do? this show was on and this scene was happening so i decided to ask.  
6. i'm your fan, i like you alot.  
7. if you were a girl, would you still use Santoryuu?  
Ero-cook  
1. i will speak something in japanese to you  
here it is. watashi daikirai temae  
2. you suck  
3. you're ugly  
4. Zoro can kill you whenever he wants  
5. women can take care of themselves  
6. pervert  
7. i am not asking you any questions because i simply dislike you with my heart  
8. one more thing, zoro is better than you, no matter what, got it, kuso-chef_

_3xPyroxkatanas_

**Dear 3xPyroxkatanas,**

**Zoro:**

**1. HS: WE CAN BAND TOGETHER AND ALL KILL THOSE BASTARDS :D**

**2. -eye twitch- Who called me that?! Where's that teme!?**

**3. ...Nor can...I?**

**4. /Zoro quirks a brow at HogwartShinobi /****HS: Eh heh heh...And then Kelly ran. -zoom!-**

**5. I dont know. Ask him to get me some medicine and discribe every freaking detail so the baka doesnt get confused.**

**6. Im glad you see it my way.**

**Sanji:**

**1. Hate you too -.-**

**2. Um hm.**

**3. Okay.**

**4. Sure he can.**

**5. Doesnt mean they should.**

**6. Yup.**

**7. I see.**

**8. You're probably wondering why I am not worrying about these insults...**

**/Sanji glances over at thousands of fangirls.**

**Fangirl: ...Run.**

_

* * *

Dear Sanji,_

_Yay! A nice person! HI SANJI! -Jumps around.- Uhm, right, anyway...  
What would you do if your feet were suddenly chopped off and your unhealthy cigarette taken away? Not saying that I, of all people, would do that to a nice person... -Glares at Zoro.-_

_(P.s. for Zoro: WHERE did you buy it, you bucket-full of moss-covered, flea-infested turkeys!?)_

_Abbie-sama_

**Dear Abbie-sama,**

**I would be very sad. And would need alot of comfort and hugs...-wink wink, nudge nudge-**

**PS: Zoro- a STORE.**

_

* * *

Oh.. hello,Sanji.What's the crack?  
Any way,here are my question..  
SERIOUS questions._

_1.When did you start smoking?  
2.Who do you LOVE more Nami or Robin? Pick one  
and ONLY one.Oh and.. tell the TRUTH.  
3.Why do you cover your left eye?  
4.Why do you LOVE women soo much? I mean,what's  
so special about us?? (Just you to know I AM a  
woman.. and I HATE it!)_

_Yeah that's all.Bye.  
Motoko-chan_

**Dear Motoka-chwan,**

**1. When I was a kid on the Baratie. Remember that pointless flashback I had that took up an entire episode?**

**2. -zones out- Women...**

**/HS and Zoro smack Sanji over the top of the head.**

**3. OH! Uh... My hair just gets in the way.**

**4. I do not LOVE women so much...Hmmm...Women...**

**HS/Zoro: SANJI! **

_

* * *

dear sanji_

_what do you think of gay men and women?_

_videl reyes_

**Dear videl reyes-san,**

**Other people's orintations are completely up to them. Their business is theirs. As for me... -eyes women passing by-**

_

* * *

Sanji!?! YAY!! hug You're KEWL!  
1) What do you think of Kelly-san like the Zoro/Sanji pairing?  
2) Do you REALLY hate Zoro? Or do you just not like him but view him as a good ally/nakama when he's not being a complete idiot?  
3)Did u know Luffy let me and Tasha-san join the crew? I'M SO HAPPYIES!  
hugs Sanji again YOU'RE STILL KEWL!_

_Kree-chan_

**Dear Kree-chwan,**

**1) I really wish Kelly-chwan would see I am not like that-**

**/HS: quietly sobs in dark corner**

**2) I choose the second one.**

**3) MORE WOMEN?! BANZAI!**

_

* * *

Dear Sanji:  
Hi! how are you? I hope you are doing fine! as you may see my name is Lonely Musician (I am female by the way)erm... I wanted to ask you a question I saw that you are from the North Blue and I wanted to ask you... How is North Blue? what is the name of the village or city you come from? I thank you very kindly for your time and... Oh! I think your fughting style is awesome and your food too!  
Whatever you need just ask!_

_lonely Musician_

**Dear Lonely Musican-chwan,**

**The North Blue...I havent thought about that place in a long time...I dont remember much. What with all that crap about me being shipwreck and stuff.**

**Im glad another woman appertiates my fighting and cooking :D**

_

* * *

the room goes dark  
Ghostly voice Zoro! ZORO!  
a tall skeleten in black robes with a giant scythe appears  
I HAVE COME FOR THEE!...Alright now that I got the dramtic crap over..looks at list and nods at Sanji...Hmm..I thought you'd have green hair...Alright! Seeing as you probably want to keep your soul...You must answer a riddle!  
What goes up white  
and comes down yellow and white?  
PS Hey HS, we still doing that fiddle contest over kuina's soul?_

_Mr. 4_

**Dear Mr. 4,**

**Sanji: What the hell?**

**Zoro: Yeah. This one's crazy -.- **

**Sanji: I Dont CARE.**

**PS: HS- Huh?! I-I-I-I Dont know what y-y-you're t-talking about! -grins innocently-**

**Zoro: _What _about Kunia's soul?**

**HS: ...And then Kelly ran...Again!**

_

* * *

My dearest beloved Sanji of the east blue,  
SAN-SAN!_

_CheshireSphinx_

**Dear CheshireSphinx-chwan,**

**CHESHY-SWAN!**

**Everyone: o.O**

_

* * *

Dead Moss-Head,_

_WELL! The trick was actually for 2 a.m. How'd ya like getting maple syrup, glitter, and paint on your head while waiting for the 3 a.m. balloon drop?_

_-arogant smirk-_

_Nya nya! I WIN! -victory dance-_

_QUESTION TIME!  
What's your opinion on the age differance between boyfriend and girlfriend? Should they be the same age? Or should they be like the stupid movie Phantom of the Operah and a guy who's as old as the girl's dad stalks her and KIDNAPPS her._

_--Skie-Chan!_

**How about Kelly told me to stay in the kitchen while she distracted you and realized that time passed? Remember that?**

**HS: So I helped him; Sue me. MY DAD AND MOM ARE 13 YEARS APART XP**

**I dont think I matters. Although that POTO thing is slightly weird. Say...Kelly told me you...Like...That movie...**

_

* * *

Dear Kitsune-sempai!! ( yeah thats right kitsune cause zoro mena fox in spanish... with 2 r but what the hell..)_

_Tis the first time i´m writtig to u and im really happy!! I just wnat u to know that i admire u alot and u so own sanji!! Ur way stronger then he is...  
I noticed u act totally like a first mate always taking care of everybody even of sanji. Chopper always gose to u for protection that so cute!!  
Okay now for the questions:_

_1) Do u find it disturbing that many fangirls pair up luffy and ace?? There like... brothers for gods sake!!  
2) Can u PLEASE!! ask Luffy what HE thinks of that??  
3) if u find Ace can u ask him to??_

_okay now to u :  
4)Is the cuse of the sandai kitetsu taking over u?? like when u did Azura was cause of the curse?? ( u were so cool back there by the way!! )  
5) If u meet up with Mihawk but nierther had swords would u sit down and chat??  
6) Do u care for luffy? ( not i a yaoi way but like a best friend ?? )  
okay thatsit for now ( pleas anwser all the question i noticed u dont anwser them all...T.T)_

_P.S: I have an army with me ging to save u!! Kelly and Skie should die!_

_P.SS: PLEASE ANWSER THE QUESTIONS!! ( especaill 1,2,3,6) THANKS ALOT!!_

_PS: kelly let him go!! ( i know your seecret "grins evily")_

**Dear Kitsune-sempai,**

**1. Yes I do. I thought yaoi was bad but then they go and make INCEST?!**

**2. He didnt get the question -.-**

**3. I might.**

**4. Arigatou**

**5. Che. HELL NO!**

**6. Of course I do. With everything he's done for the crew, it's a shame he's stupid.**

**PS: HS- BWAHAHAHAHA! YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME, COPPERS!!!**

_

* * *

Dear...Sanji?!_

_Aw man! that's not fair. T.T_

_So um...how ya doin'?_

_have a nice day  
BadLuckCat_

**Dear BadLuckCat,**

**...Fine. Im making a brand new dish for Nami swan and Robin chwan!**

_

* * *

Dear Sanji-san,_

_A question...a question..."Will you marry me?" (ducking all the stones being thrown in my direction) LOL! JUST KIDDING! (Well, not really...) (ducking more stones)_

_Okay...a serious question. What was running through your mind when you ALMOST ended up in a 'slow-motion' facial collision (okay, 'kissing') Zoro during that fight with Foxy? And, where could I find a man as wonderful as you? (Or, where would you suggest trying to find a man as wonderful as you?) (Sorry if any of my questions are repeats...Forgive me please, Sanji-san)._

_Aloha,  
KoloheSanji_

**Dear KoloheSanji,**

**That scene?! Oh god I thought I was going to die!**

**HS: I flippin' LOVED THAT SCENE :D**

**Nyaaa...Kelly-chwan we almosted kiss!**

**HS: I know, that was hot!**

**sigh- You think Im wonderful?! Ahhh like a Sakura angel from the highest trees of heaven! **_

* * *

_

_Dear Sanji,  
You are freakin awesome!_

_1. Your dream was to get to the east blue, but you've put it on the line many times. Like when you were about to let Kalifa kill you, or when you didn't want to join the crew and leave the Baratie. My question is, would you rather accomplish your goal, or save Nico/Nami's lives if they are in trouble. You have to pick one._

_2. After seeing Ussop nearly win in a fight against Luffy, do you think you could take him if you started off at the same distance as Luffy did?_

_3. Do you think you could beat Zoro in a fight?_

_4. Is your cooking better or worse than Chef Zeffs?_

_5. What would you do if Nico or Nami insulted your cooking?_

_You biggest fan here,_

_--Kidd_

**Dear Kidd-san,**

**1. Um...WhenthetimecomesI'llknow :)**

**2. I dont stretch Kidd-san -sweatdrop-**

**3. We're pretty evenly matched.** **Neither is yet to win!**

**4. I dont know. Im still learning. But what chef isnt?**

**5. Smile and die inside :D**

_

* * *

Hey... Sanji I was wondering if you read Make-Out Paradice, if you have what do you think of it... also what would you do for a Klondike Bar?_

_To Kelly: Are you sure Zoro's sleeping... are you sure he didn't escape somehow... of course it dosn't inhvole a cake for some unexpalined reasion... (shifty eyes) Why did I mention cake... there's no cake involved... Gaara of the Funk! (runs away when Gaara of the Funk music plays...)_

_Emma Eveli_

**Dear Emma Eveil-chwan,**

**Make-Out Paradise you say...I'll look into that! I would kiss you for nothing at all! What do'ya say?**

**HS: ...Boomchicka boomchick Gaara of the Funk! Bwahahaha! ...I think Im catching stupid -.-**

_

* * *

Hey kell, your fanfic rocks my socks. Oh, but please let zoro come to my house, he needs to um let me torture him, I MEAN relax hides swords and whip, and duct tape under bed SO ANYWAY WHAT'S WITH THE CAPS STicking, oh wait nevermind. its better now. By the way i own zoro. No matter what he says. so i expect payment. OH yes, i read through ALL your letters and replies._

_hiddendemon666_

**HiddenDemon666-san,**

**HS: NU UH!!!! HE ISH MINE XD**

_

* * *

_

_HogwartShinobi told me Sanji would be here so I wanted to ask him something..._

_Sanji, if you could have any woman in the world, who would it be? (Can't be Nami or Robin! Mwahahaha!!)_

_And I have a question for Zoro too.  
Zoro, what would you do if I dyed your hair pink? That would be fun.. Oh and if you want to get me, I live down the street..._

_From Luna! (Yes I'm a Luffy x Nami fan, Sanji, Nami is Luffy's, back off.)_

**Dear LunaLove101-chwan,**

**Than I wouldnt have any woman at all!**

**Zoro: Pink?! WHY IS IT ALWAYS PINK?!**

_

* * *

Dear Sunbeam/anything else I feel like calling you! Got it?_

_Once in a fanfic oppertunity eh? Sanji I have absolutly nothing to ask you, but I have something to tell you though you might not believe it. Actually you won't. Sugar I just ran off and at a lot hehe. OH...OH...OH... ... you will NOT believe what happend to me today! It's crazy. Insane even. Utterly UNbelievable. Wildly unbelievable! Indeed, you WILL not believe it. It's just too crazy. Too insane. I will EVEN go SO far as to say that it is UNBELIEVABLE. It's so unbelievable that i might as well not tell you. You wouldn't believe it if i did. I mean, ITS CRAZY. Don't beg me, I won't tell you! STOP THAT! STOP THAT BEGGING! I told you I wouldn't tell. I refuse to tell. It's just too unbelievable. Oh... all right, I'll tell you. Today, and this is what really happened, so listen close, today... Oh! I can't tell you. You won't believe it. Nope, not tellin'! Oh, ok- But only if you PROMISE to believe it! You promise? Ok then... Today... nothing happened to me...AT ALL!... ... ... SEE, I ToLd you you wouldn't believe it!_

_That's long but i had to do it!_

**Dear Jimmycracksthatcorn,**

**Really Jimmy-san?! Wow...

* * *

Sanji: I dont see what you're complaining about Teme, I think it's a good job!**

Zoro:Y-you dont understand! 14 chapters of idiotic questions and Im having nightmares of ZoSan and PINK! THE HORROR!!!!

HogwartShinobi is not dead. Merely...Lazy!


	17. 16th Edition, Sanji Says Pt 2

_**IMPORTANT READ READ READ READ READ READ READ READ READ READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111ONE**_

**_NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR COMPLETELY COMPLETE ATTENTION...SANJI KUN IS GONE AFTER THIS! ZIP! NADA! NO MORE! POOF! GONE! GET IT? GOT IT? GOOD:)

* * *

_**

_Hey it's Emma again, first I'd like to say that ywes I would let you kiss me...but you mgith have to wiat a few months... I'm still not over my extreamly bad break up..._

_Also I have a question... What do you think of Brock from Pokemon... I know it's silly but he's a guy much like falls in love with every cute gril... and much like you is an awesome chef... I was wodnering would you hate him if you ever met him... just wondering..._

_Thanks... Emma..._

**Dear Emma Eveli-chwan,**

**Sanji: -gasp- Gomen Nasai, Emma-chwan!**

**Brock, eh? Now that I think about it, we sort of do...Do you think he'd help me ask out Nurse Joy? ;)**

_

* * *

Blondie's still going at it? Fine with me. _

_I figured that's what you'd say. Somehow it doesn't surprise me. So here's a question that popped into my head just now._

_Okay, say you run into a three pretty young girls and ask each one out in your normal way.  
The first one beats you up in front of all your enemies leaving you into a humiliation.  
The second stares into your soul and bites you.  
The third says she's 'Asexual' and has never had a relationship with anyone in her life and plans to keep it that way._

_What is your reation to this?_

_---Hylian dragoness_

**Dear Hylian Dragoness-chwan,**

**Sanji: O.o...More wine?**

_

* * *

Thanx, Zoro-sensei. And now to reveal myself...as Kree-CHAN! HA! I gots ta ask TWO questions! OMG, Sanji you were...MEAN to me? -cries in a corner- I can't believe it! And you stole my favorite word! BANZAI! THEIF! Ok, I'm over it. QUESTION TIME! BTW, Sanji...I'm a fangirl...-ten second pause- an USOPP fangirl_

_To the sexy, blonde cook of Going Merry-  
1: Have u read my fanfic? It's called 'From one piece to Reality'. If u haven't READ IT NOW! I'll cry if u don't..-sniffle- Sanji-kun...please read it. I worked so hard.  
2: What would you do...if you found out Nami was your sister? I've actually thought about this before(I'm weird)  
3) What would you do/say if you found out...Zoro was your long lost brother and you actually had GREEN hair? OMG, family reunion!_

_To...the other StrawHat pirate that happens to be there.  
1) Same question 1 for Sanji-sama(Do not yell at me for calling you Zolo in the story. I KNOW your name Is ZoRo! But it's pronounced the same way, isn't it? HMM!?!  
2) Same question 2 for Sanji-sama  
3) SAME question 3 for Sanji-sama  
4) Why don't you trust Robin, u aho!? She almost got herself KILLED for you guys, ya bum! And she's cool! And WAY smarter than YOU! She's nakama! I mean, u trust SANJI more than her! And you hate his guts and hopes he dies a slow, painful death in a desert someplace! Ok, I'm calm. You're still cool. But still...u risk your life to save her, u could atleast be abit more hospitable towards her. SMILE, or something. Don't make me write fanfics! -glare-_

_This was long. I'm tired. I'm gonna go eat dis here bag of cookies -munch munch-  
P.S.- Zoro, the person my friend likes is u. haha, yous mad. Ha, she gets scared when you GRUNT at her...coward..._

_---Masked Alchemist_

**Dear Masked Alchemist aka Kree-chwan,**

**Sanji: **

**1. DO NOT CRY, MY ANGEL! I SHALL READ IT JUST FOR YOU!**

**2. ...N-n-n-n-n-nani?! My _sister_?! B-b-b-b-but she- and then I- -bawls in corner-**

**3. How would I have green hair? My hair is naturally blonde, Kree-chwan!**

**Zoro: **

**1. Hn. Im too tired to read it. Im pushing it as it is to type this already...And it's pronounced Zolro actually. Dont ask.**

**2. All the more reason to hair her.**

**3. -blink- What? My hair is already green! And there aint no friggin way Im realated to that pervert!**

**4. Che. I dont smile for ANYONE. I thought you knew me -.-**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro and Sanji, _

_Yeah you guys have a movie, the first one sucks though. I love the Dead End No Bouken (the fourth movie). One Piece has 7 movies subbed and the 8th one is coming out. Sanji, who would you choose? Nami or Robin? Zoro, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE POOR SWORDS?! YOU CAN POLSIH YOUR SWORDS AND CALL YOURSELF A SWORDSMAN?! I BET MIHAWK CAN POLISH HIS A THOUSANDS BETTER THEN YOU CAN! Sorry, I'm really into swords. :D. Would you get jealous if Sanji was flirting with your one and only crush? Oh yeah Sanji, nice picture of yourself on the bounty poster._

_-Akizakura_

**Dear Akizkura,**

**HS: ZOMF I LURV THAT MOVIE! I HAVE A FANFIC FOR IT AND--muffled noise-**

**Sanji: I would choose-**

**-HS breaks out- BWAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, COPPERS!**

**Zoro: What about you? You cant even probably hold up a sword straight let alone polish it. And I happen to take well maintained care to my katana. And Roronoa Zoro does not get 'crushes', so...Yeah.**

_

* * *

Oh.. so Sanji didn't really answer my  
SERIOUS questions well.. and.. I'm.. kinda..  
well,alittle sad about that.. Argh! What the hell?!  
Any way,question for 'The oh-so-mighty Roronoa Zoro'! _

_1.When did you start drinking alcohol??  
2.Did you ever needed friends??  
3.Have you ever,and I mean EVER,kissed a chick??  
4.What type of woman would you choose??  
-  
P.S.; Gimme the right and true answer in all  
the questions or else.._

_---Motoko-chan_

**Dear Motoko-chan,**

**Zoro:**

**1. When did you start being an _idiot_?**

**2. Did you ever _needed_ a dictionary on proper grammer?**

**3. I do not kiss baby chickens.**

**4. Why do I need to choose a woman?**

**PS: True as you're gonna get :)**_

* * *

_

_Beloved Sanji-san,  
YES! You are wonderful! However, I think you may be a bit upset after I ask my questions...and I'm SO VERY SORRY...but I have to ask this...  
In the last round of questions, you told Kidd-san that "You and Zoro are pretty evenly matched. And that Neither is yet to win in a fight."  
Now, I so (very, very, VERY MUCH) hate to bring up this issue. However, didn't you actually LOSE in fight against Zoro? (When he was trying to obtain the jade orbs to help his friend re: the Curse of the Sacred Sword). Did you let him win? Did you NOT want to hurt him? What happened?  
I'm so sorry, Sanji-san. I REALLY didn't want to bring that incident up. :-( Especially since you got hurt that time...(I wanted to kiss your 'boo-boo' and make it better...)  
And, Zoro...What's wrong with pink? Sanji is secure enough in his manhood to wear pink!  
Also, I'm typing this on May 1st (Lei Day)...So, here's a lei for you Sanji-san! (a lei and a kiss to Sanji-san) One for you, Zoro-san! (a lei and a kiss to Zoro-san) And, one for you Kelly-san! (a lei and a kiss to Kelly-san)  
Aloha,  
KaloheSanji  
P.S. Kelly-san! I just wanted to say EXCELLENT JOB! And, thank you! (This is a lot of fun!) :-)_

**Dear KoloheSanji,**

**Sanji: I dont remember. I think I passed out after all that was over. But it's not safe enough to tell you the truth here...But now that I think about, I do feel pretty bad...Kiss it better??**

**Zoro: ...Pervert -.- AND EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS WORLD WITH PINK!**

**HS: Im loved :D**

_

* * *

_

_Can I ask Zoro and Sanji a question? Hum... _

_Alright.  
Zoro- have you ever read Skie's The Island?  
Sanji- Have you ever made something that Nami and/or the crew didn't like? OH! Have you ever made something that Luffy didn't like! YAYNESS!_

_I love you, Sanji! (Zoro, go die)  
Ia-Chan the Powerful! PS: I'm in class, again:D_

**Zoro: Hn? The Island? No. And Who's this Skie person you're talking about?**

**Sanji: Of course not! I please everyone to their liking! Even that baka-captain of mine.**

_

* * *

room goes dark and everything starts shaking..insert scary ghost noises here HOW DARE YOU CALL ME WEIRD...DANG IT THE CAPS BUTton is..oh never mind...cough anyway, YOUR SOUL IS MINE!! MROWhowhowhowjowhjowjojhohho!trips over cloak...looks down and notices that his scythe is stuck in his chest That can't be god... _

_to HS-DARN IT!shakes fist how the crud did you manage to beat me TWICE!sulks in corner..now you have Kuina AND Zoro's soul...YOSHAH! I WILL NOT GIVE UP! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A HOTDOG EATING CONTET OVER SANJI'S SOULburns in a cool fashion.. do the flames hurt you ask? HOW COULD MY BODY BE BURNT BY THESE MERE FLAMES WHEN MY SOUL BURNS SO MUCH BRIGHTER!_

_Mr.4_

**Dear Mr. 4,**

**HS: -sniff- Ne...Sanji-kun! Mr. 4 threatened me...**

**Sanji: -lightening booms in background- _WHAT_ was that you said to HS-chwan, dear Mr. 4?? -taps foot on ground-**_

* * *

_

_Dear Sanji,  
http/watch?voPelljPjKnM  
You look at the link, then tell me what you think of the song. and I didn't write the song if thats what your thinking, it belongs to three Days Grace. Now the questions:  
1. Ever made Pizza?  
2. this may be rude but what does 'ero' mean?  
3. What wild thing do you think Luffy will up with next? Lastest things that I think are unltra cool are his Gear Second and Gear Third.  
-Animefreak567  
PS: Zoro, why pink you ask? well, its always pink because some people would find it rather amusing to see a guy with pink hair._

**Dear Animefreak567,**

**Sanji:**

**1. Pizza? No, but It would be wonderful if you inlightened me on a recipe!**

**2. ...-sweatdrop-...Pervert...**

**3. Something none of use will be able to see since we're fighting the SECOND to biggest badguys.**

**Zoro: Sucks dont it -.-**

**Sanji: bigtime...**

**PS: I HATE YOU AND YOUR PINK WAYS!**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Sanji _

_Would u do a "threesome" with Nami and another guy, if Nami asked u too?_

_---videl eyes_

**Dear videl eyes,**

**Someone else with my Nami-swan?! Never! It shall be only me with my beloved...Hello...N-N-Nami...Swann...**

**/Zoro shields HS's eyes as Nami beats Sanji to a pulp.**

**HS: Is it over??**

**/Zoro does not no for he shieled his eyes as well.**

_

* * *

YAAH! SANJI-KUN!  
AND MY SWEET MARMIO-KUN! _

_hm.. Sanji? i have to give you a nick name! Just like My Sweet Marmio-kun... yours shall be...My Favorite Curly Browed Blonde Cook! or My Favorite Blonde Cook to be shorter, alright with you?_

_Now Sanji-kun's question(s)  
1.) ok, my cat is an even pickier eater than I am, and i was wondering...do you have and tasty, but easy meal ideas to feed a cat?  
2.) Do you hate me for loving both you and My Sweet Marmio-kun?  
3.) Wanna take me to my Semi Formal?_

_AND Marmio-kun's question(s)  
1.) Do YOU wanna take me to my Semi Formal?  
2.) Thanks for thinking that I do have the power to beat up my big sis if i want!  
3.) If Sanji-kun was about to die (idk how) and YOU were the only person around that could save him...would you? Keep in mind that Luffy-san would hate you if you didnt. AND that you would be able to rub the fact that you saved his $$ in Sanji-kun's face._

_LOVE YA!!  
:Lily-swan:  
a.k.a. Lilygirl33_

**Dear Lilygirl33-chwan,**

**Sanji: **

**1. -holds up finger knowledgably- Cats like fish. **

**2. Not at all Lily-chwan! B-but you love me MORE right? -irreisitable and charming (yet seductive) voice PLUS bambi eyes-**

**3. I would, my beautiful flower, but alass; I am confind to this ship away from your beautiful soul!**

**Zoro: Man you're a dork!**

**Sanji: TAKE THAT BACK!**

**Zoro: whatever...**

**1. No.**

**2. ...Do you not or something?**

**3. Course I would! -fans gasp- Before I imagine him dying the slow and painful death BWAHAHAHAHA!**

**Real Zoro: OI! GET AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!**

**HS: ...And then Kelly ran**

_

* * *

... Is Sanji-kun still answering questions?  
I hope he is , I've had it up to here with that damn marimo! -pretends to shoot self-. _

_But to my question.  
Sanji-kun, (if ur still answering)  
Is there some sort of tradgeic past behind your lovesickness?_

_ocean-view-luffy_

_P.S. about that date... my house 8 o'clock. K. And tell HogwartShinobi that i might recrute Skie Loon for our Straw Hats club._

_(you've earned points by flirting with da captain! -dats me!-)_

**Dear Ocean-View-Luffy-chwan,**

**Sanji: No OVL-chwan, my love for the feminine is completely of passion! Especially the wonderful girl like you---**

**HS: -holds up paint brush- DONT. YOU. DARE -eye twitch-**

_

* * *

Dear Masterchef-Sanji,  
I have one more question for you, but boy is it a doozy! If you're so concerned about your hands that you only kick people, why do you handstand for many of your attacks? You're planting your feet down in the dirt, or on some nasty, briny ship's deck, or wherever. They could even get stepped on! It doesn't make that much sense, and you don't even wear gloves. You should try gloves for fighting.  
Say hi to Mr. Prince for me, and keep being anime's coolest chef!  
Zolo: Enjoy your break!  
The-Most-Pleasant-Nightmare _

_avatarjk137_

**Dear avatarjk137,**

**Sanji: Ahhh, but it's less of a chance of breaking them while punching someone. Although the gloves might be an option...**_

* * *

_

_OI! Yaya! You're still here! It's Cheshy-swan! ;) Oh! This is great! I Get to ask you something! I couldn't last time cause of the shock! Okay, My friend Elisa is sleeping with the help of an overdose of sleeping pills. I couldn't have her interrupt me this this wondrous of moments! She's here to bother Zoro. Now he's gonna hate me, Right? Sorry! I guess...I... Ah well! I have six questions!  
1. What's your favorite meal to cook?  
2. Do you have any siblings?  
3. Are you fond of bugs in some way? No? Yes?  
4. What's your favorite one piece movie?  
5. Do you like the nickname San-San?  
6. Will you cook for me, go out with me, and marry me?  
Cheshiresphinx  
P.s. Kisses on cheek_

**Dear Cheshy-chwan,**

**1. I do not have a favorite, for I love all my meals.**

**2. I do not, Cheshy-chwan.**

**3. I--**

**-HS runs by- HS: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I RUN!**

**4. One Piece movie 2 was quite enjoyable! Nami-swan and I were in matching wedding outfits :D**

**5. Any nickname given by you is perfect, Cheshire-chwan!**

**6. WHY CHESHY-CHWAN OF COURSE I---**

**/Zoro and HS drag Sanji off screen**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Sanji-san,  
Well if you're looking for any automail just in case you should go to Rush Valley it's full of automail! Just saying. Oh and I just remembered that there's another person with his eye covered too. Hmm... you and his nakama Gojyo would get along well. If you ever meet them watch out for Goku. He's like Luffy hunger wise and personality wise. Well I can't think of any questions right now so ja ne Sanji-san, Zoro-san, and HS-san. Awesome fanfic!  
-nekosaru:3_

**Dear nekosaru-chwan,**

**Sanji: Interesting...Maybe we shall meet them soon. I hope none of them are crazy ghosts that dont leave humans alone and somehow turn into child versions of themselves O.o**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Sanji, _

_Oh, cool! Another chapter for Sanji!  
Okay, questions:_

_1, I'll give you a hug anyway!_

_2, Could you go kill Zoro for being an idiot and not telling me where he got his waistband? Thanks._

_3, And while you kill him, throw this water balloon full of bleach at him, will you?_

_4, (For Zoro) Why aren't you nice, like Sanji?_

_-Abbie-sama_

**Dear Abbie-chwan,**

**1. MELLORINE! MELLORINE! -tornado dance-**

**2. Of course, Abbie-chwan!**

**3. Ah yes...**

**4. Zoro: Because Im not a push-over pansy.**

**Sanji: OI!**

_

* * *

The awesome love cook,  
Finally someone worthy to talk to!! (Glares at Marimo) Zoro is being a meany butt head, plus I ran out of questions to ask him... Anyways, unlike Grass Head, I have a lot of questions to ask my dear Sanji-kun.  
1. Okay well there is this guy in my class and he called me and my all girl band (The crazy striped Rejects) GROUPIES! GROUPIES!! Groupies are garden hoes who sleep with the band!! Can you kick his ass for me and my friends?  
2. You are too scared of spiders! I remember that episode perfectly well, you, Nami, and Usopp were looking for that one bird that only points north (or was it south) but it started raining spiders and bugs. You and Nami freaked out. Don't worry about it though, i have a deathly fear of spiders too and horses...-shudders-  
3. You have a bounty of 77,0,0 belli on your head...do you feel...hm naughty? Hahahhahahahaha! _

_I'm absurd, but that is why you love me right? Well thank you for answering my questions. Oh and HogwartShinobi, I sent you a private message conerning my stupidity from not reading the authors notes BEFORE I review. Sorry bout that by the way._

**Dear Sanji-kunZoro-San,**

**1. ...You watched School of Rock...Didnt you, SkZs-chwan?**

**2. I am not scared of spiders! I was just...Pretending so Nami-swan didnt feel like she stood out.**

**3. Maaaah...SkZs-chwan...**

_

* * *

Ne, kuso-chef? did you think i was a guy? um... i'm a girl, stupid... i just happen to like zoro so i chose that name... okay... i am a tomboy... yea... you can't kill me... know why? because you don't know where i live...  
HS-san, do you like ero-cook?  
zoro  
1. don't worry no one called you zoro-chan... if they did i would either laugh or kill them. smiles  
2. yo _

_3xPyroxKatanas_

**Dear 3xPyroxKatanas,**

**HS: No, I dont. **

**/Sanji grows mushroom in corner**

**Zoro:**

**1. FINALLY! SOmeone on MY side!**

**2. Mashimasa**

_

* * *

Dear Dart-brow and Moss Head,  
I have some questions for you and I hope you'll answer it. _

_Sanji:_

_1. What are your thoughts on the ff. situations about Zoro  
a. A girl (Tashigi) is chasing after Zoro not you.  
b. He saves Nami more than you do  
c. His bounty is larger than yours  
d. His Key unlocked Robin's handcuffs  
e. He's more popular with ladies than you.  
2. If you see Spandam, what'll you do to him?  
3. Which do you prefer: zoroXrobin or spandamXrobin?(You can't include yourself in the choices)  
4. Why do you hide your other eye? Is it because of your other eyebrow?_

_Zoro:_

_1. After you achieve your goal, what's next for you?  
2. If Nami and Robin were in some sort of danger which they couldn't handle, who would you save first and why?  
3. Who is your closest friend in the crew? (excluding luffy)  
4. Why do you always use puns in your techniques?(oni giri onigiririce ball, Tourou Toro fat tuna)  
5. Did you literally grew two extra heads, and 4 extra arms in you asura technique?_

_Anyways those are my questions hope you'll answer it._

_Saemi_

**Dear Saemi,**

**Sanji:**

**1) I deny at least 4/5th's of those!**

**2) I do not know o.O**

**3) Oh that's easy I choose-**

**HS: -runs by- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ...HA!**

**4) I dont know why my eyebrow is always hidden, naturally thing with my bangs?**

**Zoro: Heh. Bangs.**

**Sanji: OI!**

**Zoro:**

**1) I dunno. Sleep? Yeah. Sleep...**

**2) Yeah I would save them. If I didnt Sanji and Luffy would be mad -.-**

**3) Im 'friends' with no one...**

**4) THAT'S NOT A PUN! Curly brow always uses slices of meat in HIS moves!**

**5) Actaully, when I used that techinque, I--**

**HS: -runs by- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA-ACK! -Zoro grabs collar-**

**Zoro: Why do you keep doing that?!**

**HS: ...Um...Oh look! ...A Mihawk!**

**Zoro: What!?**

**ZoOm!**

_

* * *

Hello!! I'm a car! (Just kidding) Sorry, I just haf to put that out there. _

_Anywho, Sanji...um... yeah, if you take my sister (Lilygirl33) to the semi-formal, I'll kick yer $$! And if I don't get the chance to my dad probably will. Just giving you a little warning._

_And Zoro... don't encourage my sis to pick fights with me. I don't care how strong or skilled she gets I can always beat her. I'm sure Ace would agree with me on this._

_That's all! From: madlibs44_

**Dear Mablibs44-chwan,**

**Sanji: Eh heh...-backs away slowly-**

**Zoro: O-Okay then.**

_

* * *

Sweet! Another Chapter for Sanji! _

_1. Noticed you haven't answered any of the serious questions like the Ones wioth who do you like more? Nami or Robin? Or the one between your dream or saving them. To big a question I guess. First question is, what do you think of your current place in the manga? A floating/moving giant zombie island..._

_2. I love yours, Luffy's, and Franky's fights the most. So far, non of you bad guys seemed as cool as the fishman you fought back in the Arlong arc. Gin and Pearl were cool too but not close to your fishman. Same with Luffy. Non of you bad guys seemed cooler than Arlong. Lucci got freakin close but didn't take the cake. Since you know your dstination after the zombie island is the Merman Island, how hard do you think your enemies are going to be? The merman gave you guys some of the worse beatings I've seen. I loved Sanji's fight with his merman underwater. Since your future merman enemies are going to be a crap load harder than all the enemies you've faught so far, how good do you think you'll do? It's obvious you'll win considering the PIS, but meh._

_3. Since its obvious Luffy is going to beat they guy who stole Brooks shadow and Brook is going to join the crew, what do you think of him? Actually, same question to Luffy too!_

_4. How are you so freakin awesome?_

_5. How are you so freakin awesome?_

_6.How are you so freakin awesome?_

_7. How are you so freakin awesome?_

_8. How are you so freakin awesome?_

_9. How are you so freakin awesome?_

_10. How are you so freakin awesome?_

_11. That devils leg attack you used on the wolf guy was amazing! You now have an attack that can actually hurt Luffy! Your others are Physical kicks and Luffy already said those kind of attacks don't affect him during his fight with Blueno so he never faught you. Only Franky, Zoro, and Ussop so far and I have been waiting for a fight between you two! Although since Luffy now has Gear 2 and 3, he could probably take on the whole crew and still win but me. This isn't exactly a question just so you know. More of a conversation._

_12. How are you so freakin awesome?_

_13. Since this question was asked to Zoro, I will ask you it and you cant say "M... Women...". What would you do if you walked in on Nami and Robin getting it on?_

_14. What would you do if you walked in on Ussop, Luffy, Franky, Chopper, Brook and Zoro getting it on? Also, just so you know, I'm not interested in Yaoi. I'm a guy. OO...Oo... Yuri on the other hand... ;_

_15. How are you so freakin awesome?_

_You are cooler than anyone in Anime!_

_Most Kick Ass person here,  
--Kidd_

**Dear Kidd, **

**Sanji: Too bad you wrote all that stuff. Because my only reply is...YOU'RE OUT YOUR DAMN MIND! **

**...Although Im with you on the yuri ;)**

**Everyone: Perv...-.-**_

* * *

_

_Question Question Question Question!  
For Sanji;  
Does it get annoying knowing that Zoro is just so much better than you and that you will never be as cool or amazazing as even his little pinky toenail?  
O.o I've always just wondered that!_

**Dear ChuckTyler-chwan,**

**Sanji: Eh...Hug?**

* * *

Your words: 2970 

My words: 1016

Watching the expressions on Zoro and Sanji's faces when they read your strange and idiotic questions: Priceless :3


	18. 17th Edition

_(Looking at the seat that once was occupied by Sanji-san, only to see marimo there)...-sigh-_

_Dear Zoro-san,  
Pink is the color of fresh sashimi. Do you still hate pink? Or would you prefer green sashimi? (That would definitely NOT be something good to eat). Just showing you that there are some good 'pink' things in the world...  
And, I am NOT a pervert! I'm not the one running around the place without a shirt on! Hentai!  
Also, could you please pass along my best wishes and love to Sanji-san?  
Mahalo and Aloha,  
KaloheSanji  
P.S. And a big 'thumbs up' to Kelly-san:-) Hey, Kelly-san! Ever heard of the show 'Loveless?' Do you think it would be fun to have those two Zoro and Sanji 'chained' to each other? Which would be the fighter, and which would be the sacrifice? (evil grin) And who, if either, would still have their ears and tails? Hahahahahahaha!_

_---KoloheSanji_

**Dear KoloheSanji.**

**Let the world know I will, not matter what you say, not matter what you do, HATE pink hair!!! And Im not a hentai! Hentai is anime poooooorn. Id like to keep my pants on thank you very much! I how do you know I have my shirt off sometimes? Do you stare a me or something??**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro-san,  
I only have one question for you this time. Since I can't think of anything else right now, so here it is. Have you ever met the shinsengumi aka the "wolves of mibu" from Peacemaker Kurogane? Just wondering. _

_-nekosaru:3_

**Dear Nekosaru:3,**

**I dont recall. But I tend to say away from police so dont count on it. **

_

* * *

Zoro again? Boo..._

_Now... where was I?_

_Ok, Zoro! Have you ever embarased youself? If so, please tell! And you must tell or else I'll bombard you with so many of these questions it's not funny. Tell._

_Ia-Chan! PS: TELL ME!) :d_

_---LaCoeurdelaMer_

**Dear LaCoeurdelaMer,**

**Of course I have! Dont you WATCH the show?!**

_

* * *

It is I! The Intolerable Mr. 4! Man of a thousand titles! Many of them strange!whells in in a fullbody cast and wheelchairNote to self: Don't take on An angry Sanji and borede Zoro while gushing out gallons of blood, with a large scythe rammed through your chest...  
For Moss Head  
Pshht, your as strait as Sanji's eyebrow! _

_---Mr.4_

**Dear Mr.4,**

**Hey you got that line for HS, didnt you, you bastard!!**

_

* * *

Dear My Sweet Marimo-kun! _

_1.) OF COURSE I CAN BEAT UP MY SISTER...you see the only time she every actually 'won' against me was when i was LAYING ON THE FLOOR watching tv and talking to her, then she got mad or somthing and sat on me then she was like "haha i pinned you." and i was like, "cheater! get off me" and she was like "no!" and i was like "gr..."_

_2.) Thats ok! I didnt want YOU to take me to my Semi Formal ANYWAY! besides, it would have been weird to show up with some 19-year-old, over muscular guy with moss-green hair named Zoro(aka Marimo-kun) My friend would totally flip! XD_

_3.) If you had two describe yourself in one world, what would it be? Try not to be to...conceited._

_HS: LOL! while i was reading your last chapter, i was flipping out with laughter...i was crying! crying!! Crying in laughter, it was that funny, i was slapping the desk and crying, my mom freaked out, she thought i was dieing...that was not so funny...lol! Just want to say GREAT JOB! and that EVERYONE LOVES YOU!! -including Marimo- -wink wink- tee hee...you're loved!_

_LOVE YA!!  
:Lily-swan:  
a.k.a. Lilygirl33_

**Dear Lilygirl33,**

**1.) I question your intellengece. You know that, right?**

**2.) Im not 'over-muscular'!**

**3.) Sleepy.**

_

* * *

K-Kelly! I forgot to ask Sanji a question! -cries-  
But I'm quick to get over stuff like that._

_AND ZORO!! OMG! Why'd you pretend not to know me with Ia's question 'have you read Skie's 'The Island'? It's enough to make me cry. I'm kidding. I don't CRY, GOSH -Napoleon Dynamite accent-._

_You're bestest best best best best friend - Skie! -quick as a flash draws a swirly mustache on you and runs away laughing-_

_---SkieLoon_

**Dear SkieLOON,**

**-wipes off mustache- WHY YOU LITTLE---Im going to KILL you one of these days! And dont think it'll be quick and painless in your sleep! You'll be await and it'll be slow...**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,  
Hi its me wolfgirl88, I'm Back With SUGAR! I asked like 5 or 6 questions in round 13. Anyway I'm back_

_#1 Zoro, Who is the least annoying person on the ship  
#2 do u like dogs or cats more?  
#3 How smart are you?  
#4 how are you feeling today?  
Well, thats all for now! good night, good afternoon, goodmorning and all that stuff  
-wolfgirl88  
P.S. I Think luffy and Nami make a good pairing, BYEBYE!_

**Dear wolfgirl88,**

**1. Do you REALLY need me to say Luffy?**

**2. Im not sure. Dogs are noisey and cats scratch. I like neither.**

**3. How smart are YOU?**

**4. ...Good I guess. Thanks for asking??**

_

* * *

Dear Greatest-Swordsman-To-Be,  
1. Do you think Luffy's too nice to become the Pirate King?  
2. Would you use Mihawk's sword if you beat him?  
3. When you become the greatest swordsman, eventually somebody else will take the title from you. What do you think that person will be like?  
4. Any idea what would happen if somebody ate more than one Devil Fruit?  
This-Is-The-Colbert-Report _

_---avatarjk137_

**Dear avatarjk137,**

**1. No. I think it'd be better to have a King with some SOME form of mercy, ne?**

**2. Che, NO! I dont need his sword!**

**3. I hope he/she will be a tough opponet and try their hardest. What more could you ask for?**

**4. They would explode, duh.**

_

* * *

Heyheyheyhey!! How dare you call me an idiot  
you BEEPing BEEPhead for a swordsman! You're an idiot  
too you BEEPhead BEEPwhole!! Gragh! You've made  
me soo mad and you've let out my inner rage that I  
shouldn't and mustn't let out!! ARGH! Jesus Christ  
you've pissed me off big time this time!! (Yohoow! It ryhmes!)  
I BEEPing hate you!! You're blunter than before.I'm going to ask my dead  
twin sister to hunt and kill you for gOd!! _

_Anyway,that's all my rage I've let it all out.I'm just  
going to ask Sanji.His nicer.Okay bro,uh.. can I call you  
that?? It's sounds cool.Any way,I'll ask a favour.Do you want  
to destroy and conquer the world with me?? Nyahahaha! It'll be fun  
-glares- like destroying a goddamn ant hill that doesn't even worth  
my BEEPing time.So,-_grinns_ happily- you in?? Oh I forgot! There'd  
be super kinky chicks,and I MEAN SEXY WOMEN AND NOT SOME DAMN BABY  
CHICKEN,comming with us!! Nyahaha!! -glares- You better come or I'll  
kill you together with your loved ones.. -smiles happily- Nyahaha! I'm  
kidding,I'm kidding!!  
-  
P.S;-glares- THE WORLD IS MINE TO TAKE..Oh yes,I'm back with that  
thought.._

_---Motoko-DONO_

**Dear Motoka-HELL NO,**

**...Do you actually listen to the crap that comes out of your mouth; or do you just drift in and out?**

_

* * *

_

_Okay, so the sword boy is back up, that means he will be the one to answer these pointless questions. Am I right?  
So here are some, 'would you rather' questions that I though of for ya. I'm not gonna repeat the 'would you rather' part because it's to tedious. And yes you have to choose one of the things my half dememted mind spits out._

_Would you rather…  
Get caught streaking by your friends or catch them streaking?  
Be in the world of 'star wars', or 'The Legend of Zelda'?  
Endure a permanent hangover, or never drink again?  
Meet Samus from 'Metroid', or Link from 'Zelda'?  
Try to get Sanji to quit smoking, or thry to get Nami to donate to charity?_

_That's all I got! Hope you're not dead from shock!_

_Miss Amaya, the Hylian Dragoness._

**1. Ive already dont both.**

**2. Star Wars. I think light sabers would be exellcent for battle.**

**3. Ive phased passed the need for hangovers. So your question does not apply to me :)**

**4. Both so I can kick their asses at the same time.**

**5. The Sanji one. There's no way Im messing with that witch...**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,  
Well, sence Sanji is gone, Zoro. give him this Pizza recipe: http://w(dot)mealsmatter(dot)org/recipes-meals/recipe/7524  
Single question this time:  
If you ever met Ichigo from bleach?_

_---snowymountain56_

**Dear Snowymountain56,**

**Yes. He very layed back. I like those kind of people.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,_

_What about after the Eneis Lobby Arc? That sword that the shop keeper gave you looked like a dog bit it or something after. You know eariler you admit that anyone you like would be her. -nudge- you know what I mean (if you don't, it's the girl that you made a promise to when you were a kid:). If not, then how come you keep running away from the woman (forgot her name) that travels around with Smoker/Smokey. You know, real men wear pink. :) I noticed you kinda of have a rectangle forehead. Questoin for HS, Why do you like yoai. Don't answer cuz it's hot or something like that._

_---Akizakura_

**Dear Akizakura,**

**You just said E-N-E-I-S L-O-B-B-Y -A-R-C. Why do YOU think my sword was jacked up? God how I hate giraffes...And that 'girl' you're nudging at has no possible chance of dating me. She's kinda, sorta, I dont know if you've notice-Dead. AND REAL MEN DO NOT WEAR PINK!**

**HS: Hi! I like yaoi because...I dunno...It's just so...HOT! -actually thoughts on explaination- What? Would you perfer me to love yuri?! -shiver-**

_

* * *

Yo, it's me again Emma... I was wondering what do you think of my sotry New Lives R... if you haddn't read i'ts the Sequel to New Lives... If you were wonderign what New Lives is a story in which several anime males (includeing Luffy and Ace) are the reincarnations of the Sailor Senshi (also knwon as the Sailor Scouts for US fans) and are maigcal crossdressers (meaning they change gender when transformed)... New Lives R intrucdes the Asteroiid Senshi (Sailor Senshi/scouts that only appear in the manga) and well along with Sasuke(Naruto), Ryoga (Ranma 1/2) and Eido (Zatch Bell) your one of the Asteroid Senshi... Sailor Juno... If you havn't read it what do you think of the plot I just described... oh and don't worry there's no Yoai... I hate Yoai... And yes you cna say I'm a sick werido if you want... I know... I'm well... odd... Well I hoe you cna get bakc to me soon..._

_---Emma Iveli..._

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

**Corss...Dressers...HS YOU HAVE A SICK, SICK WORLD!**

**HS: I dont know what the hell she's talking about!!!**

**Everyone: Would you two SHUT UP!**

_

* * *

_

_Marimo Boy person thing... Mr. Green Hair!_

_Hahahahahah I'm so good...I'm hyper today! How are you feeling Zoro? I'm god...yes yes yes yes...I'm so crazy! Ha! I just figured out 4kids is not dubbing One Piece any more! Yay! They handed it over to Funimation! Yay!! Aren't you happy about this!! New dub voices! No more stuffy nose Sanji! No more water guns!! Yay! You have to be happy about this right?! It comes out in August! The new totally uncut DvDs come out next year! I'm pysched!_

_---SanjiKunZoroSan_

**Dear SanjiKunZoroSan,**

**...No more 4Kids...? -light shines down from heaven- Haaaaaaa! Hallelujah! WOOHOO! SEIZE THE DAY!**

**Everyone: ...O.o**

_

* * *

_

**Dear CheshireSphinx,**

**Nothing! Nothing I tell you!**

**...And for your information Band Aids DO heal everything -.-**

* * *

_Zoro!  
It's me, Elisa again! Ow..my head hurst...N e way, I just took this quiz that said that I would end up with you...(shudders) people say I'd be lucky, but Cheshiresphinx got Ace! Come on! Laugh with Me! HAHAHA! But you don't like the result I got, huh?  
Elisa_

**Dear Elisa,**

**WHy would you get me? Same interests or somthing? Dont always believe quizzes, you know. Not all tell the truth...**

_

* * *

why did sanji have to leave? i wanted to make fun of him... anyway... (sanji ANSWER TO ALL THESE QUESTIONS TOO and i'm a girl by the way, --takono)  
1)why is zoro so gay?  
2)why is zoro such a dumbassed freak of nature?  
3)why must platypus be a funny name?  
4)I LIKE CHEDDAR!  
5)(trips over sanjis foot) (cries)  
6)why do you h8 me sanji?  
7)dont worry! i hate you too! i also think youre retarded! zoro, rip him to shreds!  
8)someone kill the pervert i beg of you!  
9)fine, if you'll stop crying like a babbling idiot, i dont COMPLETELY hate you...  
10)STOP HUGGING ME! GYAA! IT URNZ!  
11)YOU LAUGHING AT ME ZORO?! IMMA KILL U!_

_---raifananticTAKONO_

**Dear raifananticTAKONO,**

**/Zoro stares as RaifanaticTAKONO with thoughts of her delusion.**

* * *

i have a question. since luffy is made of rubber than does he need a rubber? and if he were to have sex would he not act so innocent? 

_---stephanie_

**Dear Stephanie,**

**-eye twitch- D-Did you just ask that?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! I DONT KNOW HOW LUFFY ACTS DURING SEX! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF HE'S DONE IT BEFORE!**

_

* * *

... Nyah. Who's answering questions? Is it marimo._

_Oh well. In the event of Zoro's return from the hospital, here's my next question._

_What would you rather be in: ZoSan or ZoLu?_

_P.S. HS, I've tol Skie I could either send you some sort of  
Zoro torture device... or Rock Lee it beat him up. Which would you want me to send?_

_---ocean-view-luffy_

**Dear ocean-view-Luffy,**

**I would rather have Zo-IN YOU DREAMS YOU FREAKING LITTLE SON OF A---**

**HS: ANYway...eh heh Rock lee please :3**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro-sama:  
Do you remember me? I am Lonely Musician! sorry for not writting for so long! I am very sorry (bows head respectfully)  
Anyway I have been having a great time even do I couldnt message you the thing is I lifted a sword on my hands! I felt so powerful and I remembered you! But I couldnt afford it! It was gorgeous yes but way to expensive so I couldnt buy it! I am saving money to finally buy one!  
Ok lets go with the questions! If you dont mind!_

_1.- How do you felt when you finally lifted (sp?) a sword in your hands?_

_2.- When did you saw the first sword combat in your life?_

_3.- How old are you?_

_4.-Do you haye Mihawk just because he beat you or is there another reason?_

_I hope you answer me soon and hoping you are doing fine!  
Greetings for Sanji-Kun if it is still there!  
And HS good job! I hope your are doing excellent have a nice summer! (well in my country Summer is about to start so...)  
good bye and have a nice day!_

_Lonely Musician_

**Dear Lonely Musician,**

**1. THE POWER! BWAHAHAHAHA...Ha...I felt good.**

**2. Then that damn kendo stick tapped my freaking forehead.**

**3. ...19**

**4.** **I dont hate Mihawk. He just happens to be titled the Great Swordsman in the World. If it was anyone else id go after them as much as Mihawk. Besides, we respect each other.**

_

* * *

No more Sanji, then? Okay, fine with me. Anyway... Zoro, has HS ever allowed you to play Super Smash Bros. Melee? You know, like to pass the time. If you have, what's your favorite character in the game. Probably one of the sword wielding characters like Marth right?_

_That's all for now, Madlibs44_

**Dear Mablibs44,**

**I like playing with Link. What with the sword and all. HS annoys me with her constant bragging about her beloved, 'Party-mode' Pikachu. Che. I zapped that little mouses ass all the way back to Pallet Town.**


	19. 18th Edition EDITED! Please read note

_**FLIPPING READ THIS READ THIS READ THIS!!!!! FOR GOD SAKES READ IT!!!!1one**_

EDIT: Okay so yeah...Fixed it!

Now that I have you're attention. Be careful what your questions will be because...After chapter 20 there will be no more chapters of Ask Zoro! Up that's right! Im done! Several reasons, one - I have other stories I need finishing up. two - I noticed that before this, there werent alot of these 'ask characters' things so thats why I did it. But now these things are popping out of nowhere like crabgrass and now I dont feel special.

...JK XD lol you guys can live without this right? I dont think you have to keep asking this one. Go ask others I guess :/ Anway another reason is because me and Zoro are slowly losing our sanity and he earned enough money to pay off his debt. Tsk Tsk. If you didnt ask so much, maybe we'd still be here XD I might make an 'Ask Zoro II' column if he does something bad again and if you guys reall want it. So with that said...Ja Ne!

PS: Would you guys freak out if I was really in One Piece and Zoro and I were really answering questions and this wasnt just a fic?

I would ;)

* * *

okay can u give your advice on somthing?? i got 2 boys stalking me and well i don't now what to do T.T and it is really getting anoying... WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I KILL THEM ?? HOW?? can u kill them for me?? (imitates Luffys puppy eyes).. "whispers " i´ll give the map out of kellys domain...  
if not before u kill sanji send him over to kill them please T.T 

thank u your loyal servetn AND 1 ONE DICIPLE!!(GR )

nightwalker (i KICK ASS!! )

**Dear Night-walker,**

**1) Of course. That would probably be the first thing I would do.**

**2) ...Buy another sword -.-;**

**3) No. Why would I think that? I dont really know him, Ive only spend Arabasta arc with him.**

**4) I do YOU know I care?! Maybe Im planning to 'accidently' shove her overboard and 'try to save her' by dunking her head under water even more. **

**(HS: OI! THAT WAS MY PLAN IF LUFFY EVER GOT A GIRLFRIEND----NotthatIcare.)**

**5) Maybe I should shove her overboard too and make Sanji watch.**

**As much as Id like a map...Im not being held against my will. Plus Im in the kitchen so I dont really **_**need**_

* * *

First off, I think you're awesome...but unfortunetly, I think Sanji is a bit cooler. I'd so love to master his fighting style! But don't worry, you have a special place in my heart...but that's not really much, considering I need room for Luffy and Sanji and Nami...and everyone else...and all the other anime ppl I like...But I've prattled on long enough! Time for my question! 

Let's say you found a magic tree that made Devil Fruits for anyone who wanted one. Would you take one (remember the whole not being able to swim thing!), and what kind of power would you ask for?

Sincerely yours,  
ElectroManiac aka The Blitzlancer

**Dear ElectroManiac,**

**If Im going to defeat Mihwak, Im not going to depend on a piece of food to help me. I dont need it.**

* * *

_  
Ohohoho! Men,this thing is off the hook!  
It's freakin' awesome,men!  
Anywho,here's a question for Roronoa(I'ma call ya  
that,ayt!;D)  
Uhm,okay.Did you ever needed friends? I've read this  
fanfic and there you said you never needed friends.It hit me(ahem!)  
and made me think that did you ever.So.. yeah.Oh yeah,I've been  
thinking about this for soo long.Know what,you're really lucky 'cuz  
you've got hundreds of fans.Oh,you're lucky too 'cuz there are  
many OCs paired to you and that you're well,I think is,famous unlike  
some girl in O.P.,who..is..forgotten..  
Ayt,that's all.Buh-bye,Roronoa Zoro.  
--  
Tashina-(Yep.Just a simple Tashina.A mixture of two names no one would  
ever know.Buhaha! slaps head I should be going now! Buh-bye,again!_

**Dear Tashina,**

**I dont know if I ever **_**needed**_** friends. But their nice to have around.**

**(HS: What are we? You're pets?)**

**Yes, Kelly. Yes you are.**

* * *

ok sorry if my QUs were so weird... i am just that way.  
umm(thinking of a question that doesnt have to do with a singing banana juggling clapping monkeys on a unicycle in apan on may 31 3004) 

HERES ONE

umm

umm

um(dammit i forgot)

OH YEAH

who would you rather be-- bon clay or sanji and why(besides "he's gay" or "i dont wanna be shit cook")

**Dear raifanaticTONKO,**

**I'd rather me...ME :D Oh look, dreams do come true!**

* * *

Ogenki desuka?  
Answer me truly, what's the first thing that comes into your mind when I say:  
Kitchen  
Sport  
Money  
Water  
Gun  
Grandline  
Leather  
Music  
PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN 3! 

(cough) yeah...have a nice day! Jamata!

**Dear Oni Giri Slash yori,**

**Kitchen - Sanji.**

**Sport - ballman**

**Money - Nightmarish witch**

**Water - wet**

**Gun - powder**

**Grandline - Pain in the ass**

**Leather - ...Pain in the ass. Literally**

**Music - Luffy's constant nag on how we should get a musician.**

* * *

_Okay, here's why I called you what I did. In the manga, your name is Zolo, but in the anime, its Zoro. Which one is it? In reality, the manga did come first so really it should be Zolo. OH, and you mind if I ask you your race/backround? Because your skin is very butterscottch smooth._

Hellsing's Servant

**Dear Hellsing's Servant,**

**Ah, but the manga first came out in Japan, in which they called me Zoro. And if you didnt know, Im Japanese.**

* * *

1.) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU 'QUESTION MY INTELLIGENCE!?!?!?' like omg, why does everyone think that just because im blonde means im dumb?! OMG grr... i'd have to be on Sanji's side with that hair color thing.

2.) Do you know how to grind:D

3.) Have you read Sanji-kunZoro-san's story 'Why we don't answer the phone'? If so, did you see Mihawk's messages? Can you believe his 'Mother Mihawk' calls him 'Hawky-poo'!! lol.

4.) I LOVE YOU!!

**Dear Lily-swan aka Lilygirl33 aka crazy-ass-fan-girl,**

**1) I never verbally called you dumb. But if you feel that way about yourself...-smirk-**

**2) My eye just twitch, did you see my eye just twitch?**

**3) (HS: SANJI-KUNZORO-SAN'S STORY?! WTF IT'S MINE I TELL YOU MINE!!!) ...Hawky...poo?**

* * *

_Dear Zoro:  
Hi! it is me again! first question: How are you doing? I hope you are doing fine! so, thanks for answering my questions of the last what... 5 sessions? I dont know sorry I dont have a good memory, I asked the question of the age because my sister was like: "Oh my gosh! no way! Zoro must be at least 25" and I asnwered politely "No my dear, he is 19" and she answered "Are you freaking dumb! look at his face he is at least 25" then I got angry and the rest I leave it to your imagination (hey! I got a fiery temper!) ;) so what can I ask you today... What is the first thing you would do when you finally return home? (I know you would get there) what can I ask... I think that is all have a nice day and I hope you and HS have a nice torturing session ;) I am kidding Zoro please HS dont harrase the poor anime swordman :)_

Lonely Musician

**Dear Lonely Musician,**

**Im fine as Ill **_**ever**_** be on this psycho ship. And when I get home after become the greatest swordsman the world will ever know (HS: Ego...) -AHEM! Ill visit Kuina's grave and tell her about it.**

**/Everyone 'awww'**

**SHUT THE HELL UP.**

* * *

_yo, looks around damn ero-cook's gone... i wanted to kick him... ehh... oh well_

haramaki  
1. if you were in the play cinderella, who would you be? you have to be one  
2. i like to play with roy in super smash melee... because i like swords and fire... hence that's my name...  
3. when you kick ero-cook's , can i watch?  
4. so, how are you doing right now?  
5. pokes zoro's side hmm... keeps doing it (my thoughts: i wonder if he's ticklish?)

**Dear 3xPyroxKatanas,**

**1. I would play the pumpkin. There. I wouldnt have to do anything major.**

**2. .../Roronoa Zoro edges away slowly**

**3. Course you can. More views the better. And make sure to laugh. Hard.**

**4. ...Fine...What are you planning?**

**5. Im not, now get the hell away.**

* * *

Well your sword was ruined after right? It was both in the anime and manga. I don't like Ichigo from Bleach. He was acting all pathetic after he got owned. Everyone from One Piece is cool, except a couple of retarded people. Mihawk, Shanks and Ace is cool. I think Whitebeard is,er... a little creepy. I agree, you and Sanji are both VERY STRAIGHT. Yoai's creepy. What do you think will happen after Luffy becomes Pirate King. Note to Ace: WHITEBEARD IS NOT GOING TO BECOME PIRATE KING!/ Zoro, you rock :D. Who do you like better, Gai or Lee. PICK ONE! You're so mean to Pikachu. My friend could beat you with Kirby :D. Any one know how to use Sharigan in Naruto: Clash of Ninja 2 for game cube? And to raifananticTAKONO, ZORO IS NOT GAY! HE'S AWESOME AND COOL. I'M NOT A ZORO FANGIRL just so you know :D. Zoro is my second favorite character. Sanji is my third. Luffy's my favorite. :D Note to Sanji: my friend thinks you and your eyebrows are cute. She's pretty popular with boys, she got a boyfriend. I heard he's nice :D. 

**Dear Akizakura,**

**FINALLY! A female that doesnt think my orientation is gay and ISNT a fangirl! Im straight, dammit! And between Lee and Gai...Okay I picked one.**

* * *

Accoring to what you said in Lonely Musician's last letter, you are 19 years old. Don't take this the wrong way, but you don't…look 19. You look more in your mid twenties or something.  
By the way, what kind of drinking rules does your world have? The appropriate drinking age is 21 here, so are you breaking the law, or do you lie about your age to get free booze.  
OR do you lie about it to seem youger than you actually are? Women do it all the time, and men are no different.  
PLUS drinking is bad for you, your liver will shut down if you keep it up you know! I said the same thing to Sanji about smoking, and the same thing to my parents about both…do you ever  
So what's the deal? Do you just lie about your age or drink illegally to an unhealthy extent? 

signed- Miss Amaya

**Dear Miss Amaya,**

**...In any part of that review did you ever stop to consider Im an ANIME character or do you just completely bypass that subject all together? **

**(HS: I never really thought about that...)**

* * *

Now... Zoro, do you like Apple Pie? Or Blueberry pie? Or Raspberry Pie? Or Chocolate Pie? I like Blueberry Pie the bestest, even if Skie and Zac hate it with a passion, idiots... TELL ME! And if you do! I'll have Sanji bake you a Pie! If you said Blueberry, my dad'll make it for you! He makes the BESTEST pie! 

**Dear Evil Queen of Hearts,**

**...I like rum. Rum is good.**

* * *

_Dear Zoro-san,  
No, I don't 'stare' at you, when you don't have a shirt on. It's just that if I look away, I might miss something important. (Besides, I rather stare at Sanji 'in that way.' Not that you're ugly. In fact, you are very handsome. I just prefer Sanji).  
Okay, now for my questions...  
If you could be any animal, what kind of animal would you be. And why? (And, if Sanji could be any animal, what kind of animal would you think he would be? And why?)  
Also, don't call me pervert and I won't call you 'hentai' (pervert). Deal?  
Mahalo and Aloha,  
KaloheSanji  
P.S. Another round of applause for HS! _

**Dear KoloheSanji,**

**Oda said I would be a shark. I guess thats okay. And Sanji; He'd seem like a Kangaroo with his kicking and what not.**

* * *

I really don't know why everyone thinks you and Luffy should have sex! You and Robin would make a much better couple! Also, any word on Nami and Luffy getting together? They'd make a good couple too! 

**Dear Mr. Thumbsup,**

**...Oh**

**My god.**

**ITS A SHIPPER!**

* * *

_zoro,  
tell me...why is it that people pair you up with just about everything that moves?? Bugs the out of me!( especially zoSan because thats just sick...)_

- a squeeing fangirl (as u can tell by my name...)

**Dear...A squeeing fangirl,**

**(HS: YOUR JUST JEALOUS CUZ ZORO WOULD BE TOO BUSY BUTTSEXING SANJI TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU T.T)**

**HS, if you cherish your live you'll run. Now.**

* * *

_i have another question. is it possible for u to fight with four swords and have u ever tried?_

-JB-

**Dear -JB-/ Stephanie,**

I dont know. I remember as a kid I tried using like ten kendo sticks...But Im fine with just good old Santoryu.

* * *

_Zoro,  
Okay...well I just got back from a convention and three people were dressed like you. Only three? there were two sanji's...that's including me. well If you went to a con, do you think most people would just see you as another cosplayer or tell that it's you right off the bat?_

Cheshiresphinx

P.s. Elisa doesn't have a question at this time...

_Cheshiresphinx_

**Dear Cheshiresphinx,**

**I dont know. Maybe it would be in between and they'd think, 'Wow, good, authentic cosplay outfit...HOLY SHIT ARE THOSE REAL SWORDS!?'**

* * *

_Zoro! I know I've already asked a question but I wanna write some more! _

_1) If I dropped into One Piece and joined up with the crew (I have black hair, can get REALLY scary sometimes like Nami, have frequent sugar highs and am naturally hyperactive, make somewhat reckless decisions, can get an attitude, and can deliver a MEAN punch), would you like me? btw i'm a girl  
2) Did you know that Sanji started smoking cause when he was little, he thought all cool cooks smoked? XD It's so pathetically cute!  
3) I KNOW YOUR HAIR IS NOT PINK LIKE SOME OF THE IDIOTS HERE HAVE BEEN SAYING!! IT'S NATURALLY GREEN!_

_Thanks for answering my questions! Whatever they're paying you to answer these sorts of questions... I bet it's not nowhere near enough._

**Dear onepiece fanatic,**

**1) Mentioning your a girl does not change the fact your name is ahem - One Piece fanatic. Besides, every girl that ever 'fell' into One Piece always ends up either dying my hair pink-**

**(HS and SL: WE ONLY DID THAT ONCE!)**

**-AND or drew on my face.**

* * *

_Bwa! I can't make fun of your hair anymore!! (starts bawling) I don't wanna be hypocritical! I have purple hair now!! (stops crying for a few seconds)...I think I need to call Alyssa, your secret lover, so she can confort me. On second thought she'll just rant about how stupid you and i are and then hang up. You and her have that love/hate relationship, you guys just don't know it yet. (Big cute anime eyes)Will you give me a hug? Pweaase? (sniff sniff)  
--SkZs _

**Dear Sanji-kunZoro-San,**

**We have a relationship?! When the hell did that happen?! I dont even know your little weirdo! And no, I dont give hugs. **

* * *

_The description says " Rock Lee will protect any young lady with his life and is so advanced in speed he can own any one." I got the Lee vs. Zoro edition! Hey! Kelly, the Lee I sent you has one little flaw. When you open the box- he's gonna be... sexually fustrated. So make sure he sees YOU and not ZORO._

**Dear Ocean-view-Luffy,**

**-eye twitch-**

**(HS: BWAHAHAHAHA! LOL! Sexually frustrated?! XD I just might have Zoro open it! Buttsex! XDDD)**

**You little-GRAHH!**

* * *

Anyway, I'll ask a question! Have you read my storeh Skie's Epic on fictionpress? If ya have, who's your favorite charrie? And Kelly, I know you've read it, who's your favorite charrie? 

**Dear SkieLOON,**

SEE THE DRAWING ON MY FACE?! DO YA SEE THEM?! I Am Ms. NEZBIT! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! -eye twitch-

I DONT LIKE ANY OF YOUR BLASTED PSYCHOTIC CHARACTERS!

* * *

_Hey, it's me again... actully... it's not the world that is sick... it's anime fans that are fans of Ranma 1/2 that are sick... oh yes... if there was a persion equally as greedy as Nami, and you knew about her and Nami didn't what would you do to make sure the two never meet and prevetn an unholy union of greed and black mail... Just wondering... _

**Emma Iveli,**

I would keep that person in that world and keep Nami in this one and hope to ANY god out there that they never EVER meet.

* * *

_Dear Asskicking-Pirate-Type-Person  
1.You play Smash Bros, good for you. I prefer Luigi and Ganon, meself. How about Soul Calibur II? That game'd be right up your alley! I wonder if you'd be able to beat Ivy, Yoshimitsu, Nightmare, and Cervantes. They're all swordsmen... in a way...  
2. Wait, Tashigi's dead? I'm only up to the Alabasta arc, but I don't mind spoilers...  
3. Doesn't it piss you off when these clowns send in questions you can't answer unless you read their fics?! It's royally annoying for the fic I write! I should get on finishing Chapter 12...  
4. I'm drinking more tea. This should improve my health, right?  
HS, if Rock Lee shows up, I don't think he'll fight Zoro.  
From SCHOOL'S-OUT-FOR-SUMMER!  
avatarjk137_

**Dear avatarjk137,**

**1. Soul Calibur II? HS's psychotic best friend always rants about that game. She also rants something about the girls kicking guys in sertant places in that game. I dont think I would enjoy it.**

**2. ...You were talking About that Marine girl?? I thought you meant...Nevermind.**

**3. I dont think it's too annying. I just make HS read them and make her tell me what they were about. See how that system works?**

**4. Im drinking rum. I shouldnt give a damn, right?**

* * *

lol I wonder how many poeple stopped and paused about the question I asked in the author's note XD 

Was I joking about the PS thing? Hn. You'll never know ;)


	20. Last Edition!

Since this is the last one -sniff- and you all were soooooo good. the ones that did ask other crew members, will get answered from from them. AWWWWWW- all you say that becuase you only asked your last question to Zoro. All we have to say is... AHAHAHAHAHA! SUCKS FOR YOOOOOOU ;P

* * *

_Aw...Zoro..._

_I guess this is goodbye, huh? sniff well, all good things must come to an end. I had a few more questions, but instead, I'll ask this one. As long as I've been asking, am I the most sane one here? despite how I was with sanji...hehe..._

_---CheshireSphinx_

**Dear ChesireSphinx,**

**I suppose. You never really asked crazy questions that made me yell or became frustrated (insert sarcasm).**

_

* * *

WELL! Not answering my question! I should kick you for that, Zoro! ... -kicks- Anywho, WHY are you stopping this? It's so fun! It's like...seeing a funnel cake store in a carnival. It's like...AH! IT'S HERE! WHE! -dances- _

_But that wasn't my question! It was...-ahem-  
Will you PLEASE get Kelly to stop trying to shove us together as a shipping? I mean...GAWD. AND KELLY! NO MORE! Or I'll bite you. SO HELP ME I WILL! -RAWR-_

_HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH!_

_-Luv Skie! And awesome story/column Kelly!  
...NO SHIPPING!!_

_---SkieLoon_

**Dear SkieLOON,**

**Although I would hate helping you. I agree. SHUT THE HELL UP, KELLY!**

**(HS: Aw...)**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro,_

_You never answered my last question. All is said was Dear Akizakura. :(. I graduated today, I miss my teachers and friends already. -sniffs- My sister's graduating tomorrow. My mom spoils her, and my sister says she's grown up (she's just 12 years older then me). You rock by the way, and I don't think you're the type I can tell you my problems. So I'll end it here..._

_-Akizakura_

**Dear Akizakura,**

**Hm...Well...I dont have much to say but...BANZAI! I DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU'RE PROPLEMS ANYMORE! IM FREEEEE! (lol ooc...)**

_

* * *

How troublesome, its time to review. _

_Your going to stop? That sucks, but i understand. Anyway, here are my questions._

_For Sanji:_

_1: If you saw Robin and Nami "getting it on"(Yuri sex), what would you do?(I'm not that big of a perv. Who am I kidding, i am!))_

_2: Have you ever met a man named Jiraiya, and if so, have you ever gone with him to do "research"?(Peeping on girls)_

_3: What will you do once you accomplish your dream?_

_For Zoro_

_1: I respect your skills as a swordsman, but I will ask once again; how do you think you would do against any of the soul reapers from Bleach?_

_2: What will you do once you defeat Mihawk?_

_3:Do you have any specific plans in mind to defeat Mihawk?_

_For Luffy:_

_1: What will you do once you are King of the pirates? How exactly does that work? Are you literally a king?_

_Well, thats all I can think of for now. i just want to say I have really enjoyed your fanfic, thanks for the ride. I also give a shout out to all of Luffy crew: Good luck findin One Piece. There is no doubt in my mind you will find it. And I have one last uestion for the author: Will you please check out my stories? I havent gotten a single review in a while, and it makes me sad. Please check them out and review!_

_I think I will go back to being the lazy bum I am and go back to watching the clouds.(Watches clouds, then falls asleep)--z..._

_---shika-kun49_

**Deak shika-kun49,**

**Sanji: **

**1. I would um...Uh...I would be a gentleman and um...L-leave? -nosebleed-**

**2. I will not agree, nor deny to that question...**

**3. Collect some fish and have a huge dinner :D**

**Zoro:**

**1. I'd think it unfar if I couldnt see them. Although I my skills are superior to that of a stupid death god.**

**/everyone rolls eyes**

**WHAT?!**

**2. Laugh in his (possible dead) face.**

**3. You all do realize that defeating one doesnt mean killing one, right? He spared my life, I might return the favor. But you know...I tend to forget most things while in battle...I just might 'accidently' kill his while he kneels in defeat...**

**/everyone sweatdrops.**

**Luffy:**

**1. Ill through a big party and yell really loud :D I'd literally be King and everyone would know my name!**

**Everyone: Ja ne!**

_

* * *

Aww I'll miss you Zoro-Kun -huggles- Please don't get mad at me. And sowy for screaming at you. Forgive me? -gives you puppy dog eyes- BYE ZORO! WUV YOU! _

_Much love,  
Tasha_

_(P.S. Billie Joe Armstrong pwns ur xD)_

_---Adeline ambition_

**Dear Adeline Ambition,**

**Ack! -tries to pry off- Oi, oi, get off!**

_

* * *

This is the last one?...BUMMER! (I'm really going to miss this Q&A line. It's kind of fun to get abused by Zoro...LOL! THANK YOU SO MUCH, HOGWARTSHINOBI!) _

_Okay...a final question. Well, not so much a question as a statement..._

_Zoro-san, I've filled 1,0 water balloons filled with hot pink paint and given them out to 1,0 agents. At various appointed times, they will find your room aboard the Thousand Sunny...and dispatch them amongst the walls, ceilings and floor of said room..._

_JUST KIDDING! (Giving Zoro a rum cake and a bottle of rum as a peace offering)_

_Aloha,  
KoloheSanji,_

**Dear Kolohe Sanji,**

**...Thanks?**

_

* * *

_

**Dear Tashina,**

**...How'd your brother destory your sword? My my knowledge of your world, it's hard enough to jump in the air -.- I do NOT agree to being paired with OC's. God its like edition one all over again T.T**

* * *

_Dear You-Wuv-Your-Swords,  
This is your last chapter? Or are you just tomahawking me? Whatever, question time!  
1. If you're going back to the Straw Hat crew, what piece of our technology would you bring along?  
2. Do you read the comics? 'Cause Mary Worth has to die!  
3. Do you think you're ready to defeat Mihawk yet? Or do you still need to train more?  
4. What are your thoughts on Franky?  
HS, why was the last chapter so... mangled? There were questions and answers missing everywhere, pieces of questions...  
Good fortune to you all!  
Head-Of-The-FBI, _

_Avatarjk137_

**Dear Avatarjk137,**

**1. We already came back. Long time ago. UNFORTUNATLY someone ELSE came too. **

**(HS: -scratchs cheek- eh heh...)**

**2. No, I do not read the comics 'Cause Mary Worth Has to Die.**

**3. When the time comes, Ill know.**

**(HS: What are you? Master Seefoo now?)**

**SHUT UP!**

**4. He's...Super...?**

_

* * *

_

_Alright... gotta make this short, who's your favorite crew memeber including Kelly, Ia, and Skie... got it? Good. Gotta go!_

_---Evil Queen Of Hearts_

**Dear Queen of Hearts,**

**Well, Id have to say Luffy. He only kinda, sorta SAVED MY LIFE...**

_

* * *

_

_NO! THIS IS OVER?!?!?! IT CAN'T BE! YOU DO THE BEST ONE OF THEM ALL!  
gets cold water splashed over self  
Thank you, onto the questions._

_1.If you ever got a girlfriend, would you ask Sanji for advice on dating and all?_

_2.How long did it take you to accept Robin as a crew member?_

_3. If you could spend one day as the Best Swordsman Ever, what would you do that day?_

_That's all Zoro-sama. bows._

_---Masaichu_

**Dear Masaichu,**

**1. I dont NEED to ask anyone anything on dating advice (insert denial).**

**2. Who said I did?**

**3. Sleep. How is that different? It's no longer 'Zoro's sleeping' it's 'Zoro-the Best Swordsman Ever-is sleeping'. See how that works?**

_

* * *

_

_Dear My Sweet Marimo-kun!_

_1.) Im sry to hear that this is the last time i can write to you for a while. (tear) I will miss you!  
2.) HAHAHAHAHA! TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY OF SKOOL AND IM HYPED! MUH HA HA!  
3.) Will you miss me?  
4.) If you ever get another debt from Nami, will you come to HS for help?  
5.) Do you really think of me as a Crazy--fangirl?! Thats so sweet...i gave you a nick name and now you gave me one! Thanks so much for showing you care! I love you too!_

_Questions for HS:  
1.) thanks for making this story, it was obviously hard work and your great at keeping Zoro in character!  
2.) plz plz plz make an 'Ask Zoro II'  
3.) darn, i forgot what i was gonna ask you! lol, oh well...if i remeber i'll message you a #4._

_HEARTS FOR EVERYONE!  
:Lily-swan:  
a.k.a. Lilygirl33  
a.k.a. Zoro's Crazy--fangirl._

**Dear LilyGirl33,**

**Zoro:**

**1. Im sorry I cant say the same :)**

**2. ...Good for you.**

**3. Che. In your dreams fangirl.**

**4. NO! Im never doing THIS again.**

**5. Oh God, nothing phases her!!!**

**HS:**

**Sweet questions for me! Im loved :D**

**1. It;s not that hard to keep Mr. Grumpy Gills in character -.-U**

**2. HOW'D YOU KNOW I WAS GONNA NAME IT THAT?! -I mean...Maybe...(casual tone)**

**Well, Ja ne, Lily-chan.**

_

* * *

I've noticed some weirdass questions and comments and just have to ask:_

_Does it annoy you when a person types his/her question in a retarded fashion? (As in not proper English and sometimes hard to read)_

_Also, would you be willing to fight someone like Sasuke in order to prove that One Piece is (And this is a fact) superior to Naruto?_

_Also, do you believe that new neccessarily equals better? I personally have seen a lot of stuff leading up to my opinion, being no, but what do you think?_

_---nld200xy_

**Dear nld200xy,**

**I bugs me slightly. It's difficult do descifer most, but I manage. I would kick anyone's ass to prove One Piece is superior to ALL. New doesnt always mean better. Dub Piece was new and look at that...**

_

* * *

sanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimosanji is better than u  
marimo_

_---raifanaticTAKONO_

**Dear raifanaticTAKONO,**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

**I dont care cuz I dont have to deal with you anymore.**

_

* * *

It's bad this your last colum... It's been fun... and I'm not sure if any one asked this... what's your favoreite type of booze... after all there's so many kinds... Jsut wanted to know and thanks for asking my questions before..._

_Emma Iveli..._

**Dear Emma Iveli,**

**The alcoholic kind. By the way, congraulations. You get Zoro's award for 'Most Sane'.**

_

* * *

Hello Zoro  
Ok before I get to my question, no I am NOT a squeeling/frothing at the mouth fangirl and I do not think you are gay._

_What was the place you grew up like?_

_Yes I know it's extremly short but I was just wondering._

_P.S. About the question in Ch. 18's A/N, I wouldn't freak out I would just be really jelous thats all. If you see Ace tell him Hi for me? _

_---Belinda-chan_

**Dear Belinda-chan,**

**I was quiet. Boring. That's while I looked for a challenge and found that dojo.**

_

* * *

Marimo,  
Bwahahahahahahahahahahah! You're the weirdo! I'm over my little misfit thing... yah I don't care if I'm being hypocritcal. YOUR HAIR IS GREEN!! And what the heck, I may be a fangirl, a Sanji fangirl, but I don't think your gay. I'm sorry but yaoi stuff scares me. Anyways don't kill me, but do you think that if we were to burry you into a field of grass with only your hair sticking out at the top that anyone would find you? It's just out of curiosity, I asked Sanji the same question but he hasn't answered me yet. Personally, I think you'd be dead by the time someone finds you. Oh and by the way, did you know that receiving a hug everyday can reduce stress by a huge amount? So you should give people hugs (pats head)  
-SKZS_

_(P.S You are very very lucky I do not ask you up to 50 questions a day like I do with Sanji)_

**What the hell? What possessed you to ask that?!**

**...You talk to that crazy LilyGirl, dont you?**

_

* * *

I love you, Zoro - platonically, of course - but that last answer sucked! Anyways, say you met the magic Devil Fruit Tree AFTER kicking Mihawk's behind up and down the Grand Line...how about then?_

_And another burning question I've been itching to ask...what does a sword taste like? Is it good or bad? Just wondering, cuz you hold one in your mouth and all that sword dueling looks like it'd make a guy hungry._

_Signed,  
ElectroManiac_

_P.S: I've been playing One Piece: Grand Adventure pretty hard lately. And I have to say, when I fight you...you suck. In the terms that you're always killing me w/o remorse. Even when I'm friggin' Mihawk.  
Too bad you can only beat him in a game, tho. ;P_

**Dear EletroManiac,**

**Oh, well why didnt you ask that in the first place!? Id like a fruit that can make a bottle of rum appear right in the palm of my hand. I think it's original, dont you? ****Sword tastes like...A sword? I dont know! Taste it youself!**

**(HS: Hm...Does that mean his kiss would taste like sword...?)**

**...O.o What did you just say?**

**(HS: SWEET JESUS! DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD?!)**

**(HS: ...)**

**Both: Moving on!**

_

* * *

Hi! this is my first review!YAY!_

_Anyway, on withthe questions. these are for the whole crew._

_Zoro:Did you ever cut your tounge?  
Luffy:If Nami asked you out, would you say yes, and why?  
Chopper:why did you use helium?  
Sanji:how long have u had that ciggarette lit?!?  
Yusop:Did u ever soil yourself?  
Nico Robin:Did u ever get high?_

_---blueblaze1_

**Dear blueblaze,**

**Zoro: You mean becuase I hold a sword in my mouth? No, I bite the hilt. But I do admit to have bitten my tonuge.**

**Luffy: Out? Out where? (HS: HA! TAKE THAT CHEAP INITATIONS OF THIS STORY THAT THINK LUFFY'S STUPID!)**

**Chopper: ...Why not?**

**Sanji: Ne? Which cigarette? I have at least 5 a day. Sometimes I dont even light them...**

**Yusop/Usopp: NO!**

**Robin: No, I do not think Ive ever experinced that, blueblaze-san.**

_

* * *

Ooh! What happened. Was there some Lee/Zoro-ness? Or did he see you and you two went out on a date? Right after owning Zoro.  
Kelly? Captain-san needs to know! -twiddles thumbs- I can wait all day. But not all night. A gal needs her rest. _

_---ocean-view-Luffy_

**Dear ocean-view-Luffy,**

**Kelly's too busy to reply. -muffled struggling noises in kitchen closet-**

_

* * *

HOO! Glad I read this before I continued with the other chapters. I'm only on chapter 8 currently. So I'm gonna ask a question before it's to late._

_Zoro I hate you! Okay, so one of my friends was reading one piece. You are his favorite character. Mine of course is Sanji-san. We get along fine though. EXCEPT when he insulted me (I forget how) but I slapped him on the shoulder, and he almost hit me back, and then he stopped. And I was like, "Yeah that's right! You don't wanna mess with me!!" and then he said, "No, it's not that. I could beat you up... I'm not gonna hit you cause you're a girl." Now this made me so angry you don't even know. I almost slapped him, but he's my friend so... but anyways, he goes on like this for awhile. What should I tell him? He's a fan of yours so I ask you!_

_Sayonara!  
Dalesrose  
p.s. You are a monk fish! Eat vegatables with every meal, or your lips will start to peel! And your eyeballs will fall out, and your feet will smell like trout!! And muffins rule!! And I would totally freak if HS was in the One Piece world!! HOW DID YOu (sorry my u isn't working have to copy and paste it small) GET THERE??! THAT IS MY QuESTION!! MY BIG BIG QuESTION!! JAA NAA BAKAYAROu SAKANA!! And greetings from all my friends who agree Sanji's better than you p and they like Zolu! XD (I know you're not gay, you're bi. Stay away from Sanji sikko!) And I heart Yaoi! Okay, sorry love yah see yah HS!_

**Dear DaleRose,**

**(HS: Shhhh...Secrets, Rose. Secrets...)**

**/Roronoa Zoro sweatdrops**

_

* * *

Dear Kitsune-senpai..  
wa zo-chan no baka!! kef.. whatever if u don´t wanna get your life back fine!  
NOT TRUE!! I´LL DO ANYTHING FOR U!! KITSUNE-SENPAI!! YOUR THE BEST SWORDSMAN THERE IS!!  
okay here come the questions:  
1) Do u like to read manga?  
2) Why do u change your cloth like once or twice? (is it because u don't have money to buy more??)  
3) Have u ever regretted fallowing Luffy?  
4) Do u like chocolate? (okay that was way off the subject but whatever...)  
5) If Luffy had lost the Davy fight (or wahtever) what would u have done?_

_okay thats it.. for now.. i'll be back  
(hey kelly i was serious about u bringing ace here.. BRING HIM!! )_

_----nightwalker98_

**Dear nightwalker98,**

**1. That would be ironic, dont you think?**

**2. No! I just done feel like it! And you know it IS possible to have multiple types of one clothing item!**

**3. Sometimes ever other Tuesday when Im not sober.**

**4. Sure?**

**5. Flip out and kill him like the rest of the crew.**

_

* * *

Dear Zoro_

_I kid, I kid.I get the whole Anime thing, but the principle is what I wonder. If this is your last one, than I'd better make this question worthwhile._

_1. I meant what I said, you don't look 19, what makes you look so...mature?  
2. If you lived in '3-D land' or world on this side of the screen what would your career be?  
3. When yuo say that you detest fangirls, Nami, Sanji, etc..what would you do with them if given the power to replace or get rid of them?  
4. How did you enjoy answering our pointless questions?_

_The last one yuo probably will hear a lot, but thank you for answering._

_-Amaya Zorifuki AKA Hylian Dragoness AKA Amaya H.D._

**Dear Hylian Dragoness,**

**1. I look mature? I dont know, ask that Oda guy, not me!**

**2. Hey, I can go to Japan and get big bucks working as a katana fight choerographer or just have my own dojo.**

**3. Do it of course.**

**4. Like somepne stabbed my with a rusty sprok countless times over and over and over again...**

**

* * *

**

Zoro and Kelly stared at the laptop screen.

"...That's it?"

"That's it."

Kelly hit the save chages button and added the document to the last chapter of 'Ask Zoro'. Kelly couldnt help but smile. "That was...Kinda funny." She said. But in reality she was sad, for it meant they wouldnt be working together on this anymore. It was the only time they didnt argue or fight with each other...

Zoro scratched the back of his head, standing up. "Im going to go sleep."

"Um hm. Yeah." Kelly mumbled, shutting down her laptop. Zoro opened the kitchen door, only to stop. "N-Nami?" Kelly looked up and yelped to see a very angry looking Nami with angry looking flames burning around her angry looking head.

"Zoroooooo..." She hissed.

"..." Zoro backed up, bumping into Kelly who coward in fear behind him, using him as a shield.

"Zoro...You. Broke. The. Mast. AGAIN." She said, her eyes shaded by her bangs to give a creepy effect. Zoro sweatdropped, "Well when the Marines attack I didnt-"

"I DONT CARE!" She exploded. "YOU'RE PAYING FOR IT!"

"What the hell?! I just paye back the money I owed you last-"

**SlaM!**

Kelly winced as the kitchen door was slammed shut, practically off it's hinges.

"Kelly-"

"Ill start the computer back up..."

* * *

**Teehee! Ja ne!**

**For now ;D**


	21. About Ask Zoro II

Sorry to say it but...

Yeah Im not doing an Ask Zoro II any time soon. There's like...9 others out there, you dont need me anyway -rolls eyes-. Ill just contribute to that (mess I started) group of them. Kinda makes me feel bad that there's a bunch of 'Ask insert-character-or-group-here' Stories. I only did it in the first place because no nobody really did it, so I wanted to make it unique. Now these things seem like some cheesy fad popping out of nowhere.. I also did it out of pure amusment, I hae no idea it was even going to get over 20. I wish the reviews went to other authors that desirved them. You'd be surprised at all the good stories that dont get reviews :/

Eh, whatever, do what you want, I have no authority to stop you. Ja ne.

-Hogwarts is for Shinobi


End file.
